It's the Eyes
Summary
Clarissa Von Teller. Is a 20 year old girl from Birmingham, England. When she becomes a troublesome kid she is shipped off to live with big cousin Rian who lives in Baltimore, Maryland. She is hiding a massive secret and Rian has to learn the hard way of his Innocent little cousin ways.
Characters
Alex Gaskarth
One of Rian's best friends
Clarissa Von Teller
Clay Morrow
Clarissa and Jax's step dad.
Gemma Teller
Clarissa and Jax's Mom
Jack Barakat
One of Rian's best friends
Jax Teller
Clarissa's big brother and President of sons of Anarchy MC
Kayti Halloom
Clarissa's new best friend
Opie Winstons
Jax's best friend
Rian Dawsone
Clarissa's big cousin
Zack Merrick
One of Rian's best friends
Hmm... this story was a bit more confusing. Perhaps it wouldn't have been as much if I watched SOA? Perhaps that's why I got a little lost with it...
But then you had Crowley and hell and demons (like Crowley from Supernatural?)... so were you combining aspects from different shows?
I think the main issue was, there was a lot going on without much backstory to it all. It kind of just went from one event to the next without any explanation. No backstory is okay initially, but not when looking at so many aspects that aren't being explained. There needs to be an explanation somewhere or other.
But, this all being said... I'll be subscribed in case you decide to rewrite, or maybe finish this to help make sense of all of it? This story has a sharp contrast in writing, though, compared to your others that I've read so far, which kind of confuses me... but maybe you just wrote this one at another time? I'm not sure.
I admire you for trying to combine all of these different aspects into one story, though. Again, I'll be around if you ever choose to continue it or rewrite. :)
2/6/18