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Radio Silence - Comments, page 3
Oh my you went on a rant. XD
That sounds really confusing. I keep forgetting you live in another country, because your writing is seriously what I would see like someone in the US writing. lol. Like usually I'll find some sort of slang I don't know, or something that will differentiate and keep that difference, but you've completely eliminated it. So this has turned into a compliment for your writing, lol. A bit off topic.
GPA is basically all the grades for all of your classes, put together into a sort of point system. It seriously sucks and kind of sounds like what you're describing. In high school, I was able to keep it a 4.0, but then once I hit college, that went out the window. I got a B and it immediately dropped. The following year, I got a C in a course, and even if I had gotten all A's again following that, it would've never gotten back up to that 4.0, just because I had a C at one point. It's totally lame and an unfair way of judging intelligence.
However, I guess the good thing here is, we have varying levels of universities. Like, there's schools like Harvard that expect the best of the best, but then there are ones lower in rank but just as good, just not as prestigious. Like, you can have less than a 4.0 to get in. I think a lot of them except anywhere from a 2.5 to 4.0, actually. So, you can't be a complete slacker with your grades, but you don't have to be perfect for all of them.
And again with the long days, you seriously have it kind of rough. :/ Like, schooling here is typically 7:30 to 2:30, or 8:30 to 3:30, the first times being higher (middle and high school), and the second being like elementary school times. Like, your hours honestly sound like you're working a typical job in the US. No kid goes to school that long here, before college anyway. And then with college, hours vary but we'll have night classes and stuff.
Sorry you're having a tough time. :/
And that graduation system is seriously weird, we graduate pretty much right after we finish our classes, or like, within a few days after. We receive our diplomas later, though, that's the only thing, but they can be mailed.
@Nanook
Nope, we only get a A B or C for two things at my school (If you get a D you fail). The first thing is TOK, which stands for Theory of Knowledge. It's just basically learning how we know what we know and everybody hates it, but it's mandatory. And then we have our extended essay, which is a 4000 word essay we need to write in our free time that can be about anything but needs to be about a subject in your subject package.
I don't know the concept of having a GPA. I know it's a number and higher is better, but I never fully understood what it was. Our grades now don't affect our end grade (the one at the end of Senior year) at all, which sucks ass. We have things called internal assessments which we start this year, and it's graded in our school by our teacher. And then we have our exams. Those two things are our final grade. For art, however, it's just the package.
One thing, though, is that we get 'predicted grades' half way through senior year that you give to a university so then can give you a conditional offer. We don't know if we graduate or not until July and then the actual graduation is in November (which also sucks ass for kids that went to university out of the country). It's not just my school, however, it's every school that follows the same system. Just look up the IB.
That six does show that I can improve, but it's almost impossible to get a seven in anything in this system. Which fucking sucks as well because all universities think a 7 is equivalent to a B or A, which it fucking isn't. You've started my rant here, you shouldn't have let me get into this! But a seven is an equivalent to A to A plus or A star or whatever. So, all universities want us to have sevens for almost everything, and it's impossible to get in.
But that's not all. Our standard level physics and math is almost the same as any a-level course, give or take a few topics. But nooooo universities want us to take higher level! (eg. we don't cover one thing about statistics in our standard math course and instead do more calculus, so Dutch universities want you to take higher level because of that missing statistics thing). Fuck that shit!
I start school nearly every day at 8:30 and end nearly every day at 5 because my school is so bad at creating timetables. How the hell are they expecting me to do all of these internal assessments, my extended essay, my normal homework, and study to keep up with everything? And then they have the nerve to tell me that I also need some time to myself! Make a decision it's either one or another. If I come home at five thirty and want to actually get some sleep, I'm either going to be burning myself out or failing everything.
I am done with this. I swear I might go mad soon. Everybody always tried to argue with me that the IB isn't any more difficult than most school systems, but I beg to differ. They are killing me here!
Oooh... that's an interesting grading system. So wait, you get numbers instead of letters? Like you don't get A, B, C, etc.? :O
But as for the 6 thing, maybe it's not 7 yet as a way to motivate you to work hard, maybe? Or if it's similar to GPA, that is a struggle and I know it takes a lot to get back up to that perfect grade to make it a perfect score. Like, you can do well on everything and it still stays the same due to one bad grade from before? Maybe it's like that.
@Nanook
But it's sooooo difficult to get full marks. My teacher says that 28 points should be easily reachable. Our grading system is out of seven, and right now I'm stuck constantly at a six and it's annoying me so much. I know I shouldn't complain, but I'm barely passing physics (with a four), so that extra mark could really make a difference later on. I'm getting near full marks on the actual art part, but the rest is screwing me over. We don't even get graded on the final thing. If we add it to the process journal, we actually get minus points, so.... It's kind of weird to me.
One chapter will be drama and bad ending, the other will be drama and good ending (I believe). I just won't say which is which
That sounds wayyy more ideal. WTF have my art classes been doing.
There have been some where we've written stuff, but it's just a totally separate thing studying the history of a different art piece or something. Maybe in college we reflected on some of the things we did, but not much. Ultimately, everything was judged by the final art product. It sucked.
Oh. XD
Hmm... yeah, I may need another thing happening to truly brainstorm something, lol.
@Nanook
Yeah, we get graded on a 32 point system. 10 points can be gotten for the actual art, 6 for the communication of your ideas, 6 for the process of your ideas, 6 for the reflection, and then 4 for how your progress journal looks. We work on it for two years and then it gets graded like a final exam.
You see, I did read those sentences out loud when I couldn't find it... My brain still fixed everything by itself xD
All I have planned is Alex meeting RIley's parents and Riley going to an ATL show now, and then I'm stuck again, so anything can work out really.
You write an intention? That actually makes a bit more sense, for grading. They never had us do that and I just hated it, because seriously, it could be art, it just depends on the person. And whether it's perfect or not depends on the piece, and it doesn't have to be, and... just so many factors. XD
And oh, gotcha.
Yay for connections!
And LMAO, my description... I didn't even realize. Which is definitely why I said it was totally subjective, because I could also see how it was for emphasis. XD So then yeah, ignore that one, but just wanted to point out something to think about. I think the main reason it stood out to me was because it was a short sentence, otherwise I probably wouldn't have noted it.
Sometimes what helps is reading it aloud. Idk how much patience you have for that, but I had to read a part of my novella I was writing for a presentation I did... and so much of it sounded so awkward read aloud, so I had to reword a little. The miracle that comes with reading it aloud. You realize so many things. XD
And ohhh yep that makes sense.
Ummm... hmm... I feel like you have at least a direction you're going though, so I don't want to disrupt that. I'll also need to think some more on ideas. Because up to this point, I think you've clarified most of the things I was wondering about. Hmm...
@Nanook
Yeah, I get what you mean. Art is really difficult to grade. That's why we also always have to write an intention along with it. How can people say it's good or not without knowing what you're trying to make?
And no, you don't know anything personal about a fictional guy. As you probably read in this chapter, jail guy = ex-boyfriend. So, you knew something about him, just didn't know the connection yet.
For research, I literally went through a whole list of mental disorders to find out which one fit best. I wanted something that made sense with the plot and with all the 'symptoms' he's been showing. It was pretty difficult especially since I hadn't really been focusing on those symptoms when writing everything. It somehow worked out, though xD
Obviously he's going to chase his sister if he's afraid of losing her. I wanted it to seem like he was going to hurt her first, so that worked out well. And of course Alex had to show up. What would this love story be without him?
And so many mistakes again :O
First one was for emphasis. I know how bad it is to start with 'but' or 'and', but it just sounds better, you know? Funny thing, in your description of the mistake, you did the exact same thing xD
Some of the mistakes confused me when I read them, only showing how I keep skipping over things. My brain keeps on compensating all the mistakes, so I don't see them until I over-enunciate every word in my head.
Second to last mistake is due to my editing. I had 'come to her' first, decided it didn't sound right, wanted to switch it to 'hit her', forgot to get rid of the 'to'.
I'm always up for more ideas, it makes me motivated to write.
In response to your last comment...
That's awesome that you're into art! Keep at it! I used to be a bit but then I just gave up. Although it really dealt with the fact that I didn't want to take classes for it; I hate how each teacher is different and how art can be graded when it's totally subjective. We literally had an "artist" display his work at our college this past year, and his "art" was just literally flung paint. Yet I get graded on something that doesn't have perfect angled lines and I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. XD The logic. I mean really.
Wait... I might know something personally about the dude or I would know it just based off of what's been in the story? XD That part of your comment confused me lol.
Okay, and now onto the review of the chapter (which definitely relates to the second half of your comment):
Great job with the new update! I love how you did the research and smoothly incorporated it in. Separation anxiety. It definitely works, and again, I just admire the way you were able to smoothly slide that in without it seeming off. That's just complimenting your writing style in general. So many fan fic writers bring in new ideas, but a lot of them fail to do it seamlessly. Like, it stands out as a completely new idea as opposed to incorporating into what's already going on. Does that make sense? Like, you do a great job of incorporation and I commend you for that. It's not to say those other people are bad writers, it's just, a really hard thing to do completely seamless. Yet you do it each time (with this story but also your others).
But my God Casper seemed like quite a psychopath in this chapter. XD Literally chasing her. I was so worried about her. I mean, I know he wouldn't kill her or anything, but... you know? Like geeze.
Thought it was cute how Alex eventually showed up though. :') Glad he did or I would've been concerned on how much he actually cares about her. Like, she literally appeared winded at his door and took off with someone screaming after her. XD I know it was Jack that answered the door but assumedly he told Alex.
Hmm... but yeah, what's wrong with Casper makes sense now. And what hell that was he's went through. Jesus. No wonder he hated Alex.
Mmkay... now onto the things I spotted, lol.
To Riley, that should have meant that their relationship was going to get even stronger. But the complete opposite happened.
This one's probably the most subjective; I think here you could've just combined the sentences. It's a little odd seeing "But the..." sentence standing on its own. But I could also see why this was possibly done, for emphasis, so I guess it's okay if it stays as is, but just looking at it typically I think it would just involve a comma instead of ending the sentence.
For some weird reason is was a little comforting to know she was alive and with Alex.
"is was" lol. You can figure that one out.
She just really hoped that he would be home at wouldn’t ignore her.
and wouldn't...
Alex had given clear instructions that they had to stay away from their sake, as much as it hurt Alex’s heart to have to do so.
"for their sake" I think is what you wanted. lol.
It didn’t even hit to her that if they were there, Alex had to be somewhere as well.
This is I guess debatable as well. Saying "hit to her" seemed a bit weird to me. lol. I think it should be "occur to her" or maybe "It didn't even hit her", so perhaps that was a mistake, perhaps not. XD I can see what you meant with "hit to her" as well, so it's not totally wrong.
Casper saw what was going on, gave her sister a reassuring nod,
I laughed. Her sister. XD As it should be "his."
I think that was all I spotted lol. But yeah, just small things; otherwise, it flowed smoothly and for some reason, I think this is my favorite chapter so far. A lot happened in so little time, but stuff was resolved a bit with and without words, while also seamlessly putting in explanations. So, yeah, we just finally figured out more on the missing pieces and that's just very satisfying as a reader. :)
Can't wait for more! (I'm going to assume you don't need any ideas at the moment, but let me know if that's false and I'll brainstorm in another comment lol).
@Newyork_xo
There will only be more drama if you request it ;) Right now, yes there will be a bit more. But after that, it's all up to you.
I don't exactly forgive her brother for sabotaging Alex and Riley's relationship but at least now we can understand why. I hope they're able to get passed this but I knowwww there's going to be more trouble to come
I would like to see why Casper is reacting this way like maybe he was in a relationship with a lead singer of a band and she cheated or left him or something along those lines I think I would just be really cool and provide some background information
@Nanook
I really like art myself, so I know exactly how much I've progressed. Even with something I've been working on this week, my skills have improved. I was doing ballpoint pen sketches of eyes, and the first one is way worse than the last one.
Cringeworthy grammatical errors xD I never understand how I don't see them when I edit. Sometimes I accidentally miss a sentence....
I already have a whole backstory for the guy that was sent to jail (you might already know something about it as well.... hint hint}
I think mental disorder might actually be the best way to go. I've already done some research and found something that could fit. It would explain why he the hatred kept growing. I just wanted other people to still have the possibility of suggesting things.
Next chapter, I might be able to cover both the jail-guy and the mental disorder.
Great job with the new chapter! Delayed again, I apologize. :/
Ughhh... WTF is wrong with her brother. Seriously. I would've understood if it was an emergency, but seriously? He just wanted her away from Alex that bad?
Sigh. I mean, I say that you just go with the hatred that's gone too far. With what all we know about him, I feel like relating it to a bad experience or trust issues... like, he should've probably been that way, that hateful, since the beginning, you know? For it to just now come up with him would seem a bit odd for those reasons, but idk. Perhaps you could make those work convincingly. I am still wondering if things went down in his past that make him live with Riley.
When it got to her artwork part, it reminded me of a tweet I saw today, lol. Stay with me. It was comparing an artist's drawing from when he was seven (very amateur, stick figure-y) to now, and obviously, he has improved but he's definitely an artist now. And the tweet said about how important it is to appreciate and support creative/art education. That moment in the chapter just made me think of that. It's awesome how she's an artist. :)
Couple of things I spotted:
Alex had driven them to his childhood home, Iggy scurrying around in the back when Riley just looked outside the window.
I feel like the "when" in this sentence should be "while", but maybe it's just reading weird to me personally. It's almost making it seem like Iggy started scurrying though when Riley simply looked out the window. lol. I just found it odd.
After a short wait, and older women, also known as Alex’s mother, opened the door with a bright smile.
*an
“So, what? I know my sister’s with you. I don’t care where you say are.
Last sentence. Think it's obvious when you read it aloud, or even just again, lol.
You’re going to come bring her back right now.
I don't think you need "come" in there, it's just a bit repetitive (this correction sounds so inappropriate LMAO). But without it, I think it flows better (this is probably just also preference, idk).
Not only he would go down, but his entire band would be affected.
This is again preference, so potential to ignore, but like reading it aloud, I think saying "Not only would he go down" flows better because it's presenting the scenario better? If that makes sense in terms of grammar.
lol, and the author's note:
I've tried to set it up so all of those are these are still possible.
XD Just one of those days maybe. That's not something you need to bother with obviously but I had to point that out too as I was going over things, lol.
But overall, really enjoyed the chapter! It went from calm to drama in a snap it seemed, lol. So cute that Alex told her he loved her, but then sad because he felt it may be the last time he saw her. :(
But that dude, though; her brother sent him to jail?! Definitely need more of a background on that, and perhaps that's something you can work with. I feel like that definitely needs to be explained since you mentioned before the struggle of working with flashbacks. Like WHAT. Perhaps that explains her brother's insane madness though. I mean really.
Now that I think about it, your other option, a mental disorder, could potentially make sense. It could be a thing that doesn't hit him until a certain point (like say, when Riley's drawing away from him) and they don't talk about it because it's too personal or they just don't want Alex or anyone knowing for some reason. To give her brother a somewhat normal life. Idk. But if you're stuck, you could delve into that.
But also with that, you'd have to think of the logic behind him being able to send someone to jail. Maybe there would be yet more of the story behind that, but if a person went to jail just because of Casper's accusation, would they take it into consideration if he has a mental disorder? Depends on its severity I guess.
... Maybe stemming an idea? XD Sorry if not and this was just complete babble. :/
@Newyork_xo
Her brother's a dick
And he brings a gun to school
And he'd simply kick
My ass if he knew the truth
He lives on my block
And he drives an Iroc
But he doesn't know who I am
And he doesn't give a damn about me
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@Nanook
Once you get me started with a rant, I will never stop.
I might live in another country and not be American or British or from any other country that speaks English, but English is my first language, so that helps with my writing. My school's in English. It's an international school, so... You get this amazing school system all over the world.
The GPA system sounds like shit. It reminds me a lot of what happened to me last year. They tried out this new thing where at the end of the year your grade is based on the highest most common grade you got. I completely fucked up physics and had many threes or fours out of eight (yes, back then it was out of eight, and not seven. Freshman and Sophomore year follow a different grading system than Junior and Senior year), but worked me ass off to get sevens out of eight at the end of the year. But no... I get a four because that most my most common grade, that extra work I put in was for nothing.
The universities I was talking about are universities all over the world. of course there are different levels, but even the smallest unknown universities have unrealistic expectations. Literally, I saw a university that wanted a seven at higher level physics from us, and only a C from the American system. The universities over here are a little different to that, though. They only require you to pass and take specific subjects. Only, some universities are at such high demand that they have a lottery of who gets in and who does. Luckily I don't want to go to one of those universities (you can only apply to one anyway), since I don't want to study anything like medicine or something pretty common.
I have free periods, so that's something. But do they really expect me to be able to write a 4000-word essay if I only have a few free periods of 45 minutes in the day? I need to work for long stretches, not short bursts. It's why most time management things don't work for me and just fuck me over. I just happen to take classes that force me to end at five. I have friends that end before 3;30 every single day. Some even end at 12:30 some days and some don't start until 11;00.
Of course the diplomas here can get mailed as well, but only if you can't make it. And the ceremony sucks in November. We don't get the whole grand thing. It's just us forced into a hot sticky room and the teachers going on and on. Every year the parents nearly fall asleep and the kids want to be gone. They think doing the whole cap thing isn't international, which is bullshit. That's my school's choice, because a school I used to go to following the same system in a different country had graduation with the whole thing a few days after the last exam. But that school had more funds due to being completely private and the one I'm at now only being semi-private.
I am now freaking out about a day in two weeks. For some fucking reason all my teachers have given me important deadlines for then... I haven't done anything and am low-key shiting bricks. I might actually have to take an extended break from writing. That break will probably be more than a month, and I really don't want that.
5/28/17