To the Moon and Back - Comments, page 5

As much as I want to feel bad for Alex, I can't. Charlie's got a point. He's still has a girlfriend! Silly boys!

What little troublemakers.

Great job with the update! :D Aww... that little 'date' was so sweet. Well, up until the part where she fell. :O Then it just got intense.
Something I notice that keeps happening, is that a lot of the words are cut off where they shouldn't be or are made into the wrong contractions. You're also doing this a bit with your other story; just something to keep in mind as you're writing. I'll point out some I spotted:
"That's it, I call 911." I decide getting up and pulling my phone out of my pocket.
'I call' should be 'I'm calling' or you could do, 'I'm gonna call' or 'I'll call' would even work. Just 'I call' doesn't sound correct.
"you gonna fall."
You would want 'you're' as opposed to 'you'.
It confuses me because for the most part, you often have these right but those two were pretty close together which really caused me to notice them. So maybe they were just unintentional errors considering you often have the contractions right, lol. But just something to keep in mind, because it messes a bit with the flow of the story and keeping the tone.
But other than that, great job and can't wait for more! :)

Oh no, poor Sharky!

@Nanook
I agree, Sharky seems a lot to handle. And three chapters behind?
Did i really update that much? Go me!
So glad you still like it. :))

Oooh, three new chapters! Loved them all.
How coincidental that Sharky got involved with his clothing line. And hmm... maybe Sharky is a little more than Alex can handle, with jumping trains and all. :O
lol, I loved when he automatically asked if that guy was her boyfriend. Desperate much. XD
It got intense in the tattoo shop, ooh. Alex is getting in deep, I think.
Great job with the updates! Can't wait for more! :D And woot, glad to see this gaining subs. :D

Aw man, getting deep there. :(

@Newyork_xo
Cheater cheater best friend eater! Bad Alex!

I do feel bad for Alex being jealous of Jack buuuuuut he has a girlfriend so I don't feel thaaaaat bad.

@RHSK143
Oh thank you! Hope you enjoy!

I'm reading this too. It is cute. I'll subscribe. :)

@Nanook
So glad you are reading and commenting, fan! Lol
no seriously, your feedback is always so valuable to me!
thank you so much!

Oooh, this is cute. I really like it so far. :)
I love her nickname, Sharky. It's unique, although I had a hard time trying to mentally hear how Charlie could sound like Sharky with an accent... lol. XD
And pfft, of course Alex has to have a girlfriend. Clearly he's feeling chemistry with Sharky so I think he needs to rethink that other relationship...
But yeah, I'm loving what you have of this so far. And I'm the first commenter! Yay! :D
"That means war, Barakat."
Typically I think the phrase is "This means war." Maybe it's different in Australia, though, idk. Just something I noted that sounded weird, though. lol.
But anyway, I'll be subbed and reading! :)