Breaking the Silence.

When I got home the boys were already there waiting, I took a long route to get out of my head and think. I parked my bike and walked in, when I got inside the door I pulled my helmet off and hung it on the coat rack.
“Take the long way home?” My mom asked
I nodded and walked into the kitchen.
“Samantha, don’t forget that you have your therapy appointment tomorrow. I’m going to be busy so Alex is going to take you.” He said
“What?”
“I’m sorry you know you can’t drive yourself.” She said
“But Alex? Why not Jack?”
“Jack has an appointment of his own tomorrow. Alex is taking you and you will not throw a fit.” She scolded.
“I’m not throwing a fit.”
She rolled her eyes and slid a plate of pizza rolls over to me, I smiled at her and took a bite of one just taking the corner off so it could vent the heat out.
“I don’t like it either. Do you think I want to get up before ten am?” Alex asked stealing one of my pizza rolls.
“Don’t be a dick.”
“I’m not, I’m just going to be grumpy.” He said
“I’ll get you some coffee.”
“Much appreciated.” He said
I nodded and we stood in silence, eating my food as he watched me.
“Do you think you’ll ever talk again?” He asked
I shrugged. I hoped one day I would snap out of this haze and live my life again.
“Well I’ll be here.” He said
I nodded, “I know.”
The night went on and I was getting sleepy, the boys were in the basement working on a new song, it was pretty good. I stood at the top of the stairs and just listened to them drabbling and arguing with one another. I rolled my eyes and made my way up to my room, I threw myself down onto my bed and sighed. Tomorrow was one therapy appointment that I wasn’t excited about, I mean I’m not excited about any appointment but this one really freaked me out.
“Sam.” I heard in my sleepy daze.
I threw my hand out smacking whomever was trying to wake me up.
“That was rude, let’s go you have therapy.” He said
I opened my eyes and looked up at Alex who was standing there with his hands on his hips. I shook my head and rolled over and pulled the blanket over my head.
“No.” He said
He ripped the blanket off of me and grabbed my sides, I flailed around trying to escape the tickling.
“Stop.” I signed.
“No. it’s time to get up.” He said
“Okay, okay.”
He stopped the tickles and I threw my legs over the side of my bed.
“I don’t want to go.” I signed
“Why not?” He asked.
“They want me to think back to the incident, hoping it’ll snap me out of this.”
“How are they going to so that?” He asked
“I don’t know yet.”
“Do you want me to go in with you? Would that help?” He asked
I shrugged and grabbed some clothes to change into and went into the bathroom.
When I came out Alex was waiting on me, we walked out to his car and he drove me to my therapy appointment. I hesitated as we were standing by the front door.
“Come on Sami, I’ll be right here.” He said
“Sami?”
“I’m sorry. But it’s going to be okay.” He said
I nodded and we walked into the office.
“Hey Sam.” The receptionist said
I smiled at her and signed in.
“She’ll be with you in a minute.” She said
“Okay.” I signed.
Alex and I sat down in the waiting area, he pulled his phone out and put one headphone into my ear. I looked at him and he nodded telling me it was okay. I looked back at the wall and a song started playing, that’s when the voice started. I looked back at Alex and shook my head.
“That’s you Sam.” He said
“I know.”
He gave me a sweet smile and I pulled the ear bud out.
“I can’t”
“I’m sorry.” He said
I shrugged and my therapist came out and called me back. I stood up and grabbed Alex’s hand.
“Do you want him to come back with you?” She asked me.
I nodded and Alex got up and I pulled him back into the room with me. I sat down in the lounger and she pulled up a seat next to me for Alex. She sat down in here chair and crossed her legs and looked at me.
“So Samantha.” She said
“Sam.” I signed.
“Sam, we’re going to try something today. I’m going to relax you into a state for you to remember what happened.” She said
“Like hypnosis?” Alex asked
“Kind of but not. She’s going to be in a sleep like state.” She said
So hypnosis… I rolled my eyes.
“Okay.”
“Alex if you want to hold her hand you can. This is going to be rough for her.” She said
Alex looked at me and took my hand.
My therapist did her thing and I actually felt relaxed, soon my eyes fluttered closed. I wanted to fight this, I did not want this to work.
I was standing on the floor of my job as a bartender, it was a local bar. I’d been working there for about two years at this point and I loved it.
“I’m going out to smoke James.” I said to my boss as I headed towards the back door.
“Alright, fifteen minutes.” He said
I nodded and walked out the metal door, shoving a rag into the door jam. I pulled the pack out of my pocket and popped one between my lips. Patting my pockets for my lighter I sighed; I left it inside.
“Need a light?” Someone asked
I looked up and there was a guy standing against the wall, he held out a lighter and flicked it so the flame came out. I leaned in and lit my cigarette.
“You know those will kill you.” He laughed lighting his own.
“Killing me slowly right?” I asked
He chuckled and slid closer to me and I gave him a polite smile. When my cig was done I stubbed it out with my tip of my boot.
“Well back to work. Thanks for the light.” I said
He nodded and I walked back into the bar. I was closing tonight so I had so many more hours to be here. I walked back behind the bar and smiled at the customers.
“Three shots of Jameson.” One guy said
I nodded and poured the shots and slid them over to him.
“Thanks sweetie.” He said sliding me a twenty.
“Need any change?” I asked
“Nope, the rest is for you.” He said
“Well thank you.” I said
I cashed out the shots and slid the rest of the cash into my back pocket. I was making pretty good tips tonight, so that was good.
When my shift was over I started closing down, I wiped the bar down and walked around placing all of the stools upside down on the bar. When the front door chimed I looked up.
“Sorry we’re closed.” I said
“I know, I’m sorry I just really have to use the bathroom. Is that okay?” He asked
I looked over at him and it was the guy who let me use the lighter.
“Make it quick, I’m trying to go home.” I said
He nodded and sauntered off into the bathroom. I shook my head and continued closing down the bar. I walked around cleaning and putting up chairs, I needed to sweep and mop; my least favorite part. I walked into the back room to get the broom, thinking that that guy had been in the bathroom for a really long time, I shook it off and turned around to fill the mop bucket. I felt a hand on my back; causing me to jump. I looked back and it was the guy.
“You scared me.” I said
“Good.” He said
“What?” I asked
“Cigarettes may kill you slowly but I’m going to kill you so slow you’re going to want me to just end it.” He said
“Excuse me?” I asked
He rolled his eyes and shoved me against the door.
“Get off of me.” I said
“No.” He said
My heart was pounding, I looked around for something to hit him with. I grabbed a broom handle and hit him with it. He back away for a second but just long enough for me to run out of the back room, I tried to get to the back door but he caught up with me and pulled me down to the floor. I kicked and kicked trying to get him off of me but nothing was working, he was too big.
“Help!” I screamed.
“No one is going to hear you.” He said
He landed a swift punch right into my face, the pain was red hot. I cried out, and he let out a laugh. My heart was pounding out of my chest, this was not happening.
I kicked some more until he pressed his knees into mine, I screamed and he pushed my legs apart with his legs.
“No please.” I begged.
“I saw your sweet ass outside and god damn I need it.” He said
I wanted to cry, my face was hot.
“You don’t have to do it.” I said
“Yes I do.” He said
I let out the loudest scream I could and one of his hands came around my throat cutting off my air supply.
“You open your mouth one more fucking time I’ll slit your throat.” He sneered.
“Fuck you.” I snapped.
“Oh you will.” He said
He reached down and ripped my shorts open and shoved his pants down. I squeezed my eyes shut and hopped Jack would magically know I was in trouble. The man slammed himself into me and I screamed out in pain, I let the tears fall. When he was done he got up and pulled his pants up.
“Thanks sweetie.” He said
“I know what you look like, I will report this.” I said
“Oh no you won’t.” He said
I just looked at him and tried to crawl away as fast as I could. The back door was in site, I could escape.
“Oh I’m not done with you.” He said
He grabbed my leg and pulled a knife out and sliced down my thigh. I started to cry harder and kicked him. He stumbled back and I ripped my shorts over the bleeding cut on my leg and tried to get up. I was in so much pain, I got to my feet and tried to hobble my way out. He caught up to me again and pulled the knife down my back and shoved me to the floor, I was so scared. The knife hit me again in the ribs, I immediately was having a hard time breathing; like he got my lung.
“Please.” I said with a labored breath.
He laughed and pulled a gun out, three loud fires and a searing pain all over my body.
“I want you to die right here.” He said
I shook my head.
One more shot rang out.
I sat up screaming, I looked around and I was safe in my therapist’s office. I looked at Alex who was sitting there on the edge of his seat holding my hand.
“I’m right here.” He said
I started crying, the ugliest of cries.
“Okay, okay.” My therapist said
“I don’t want to do it again!” I screamed as I crawled into Alex’s lap.
Alex looked at me.
“See, you spoke.” She said
“I was scared.” I signed.
“And its gone.” Alex said
I got off of his lap and walked straight out of the office, I walked to Alex’s car and stood by it waiting on him. He came running out after me.
“Sam.” He said
I just looked at him, he unlocked the car and we both got in.
“Sam look I don’t want to pry at you about this but that was a breakthrough.” He said
I gave him so response and just looked out the window.
“I know this is really painful for you Sam, but that guy is locked up for what he did.” He said
I nodded.
“When I found out about him I went looking for him.” He said
“Alex no.” I signed.
“I did, I didn’t find anything but I went looking. I was so pissed off that someone could do that to another human. Especially someone so close to me.” He said
I just looked at him.
“Now it’s been a rough morning, is there anything that would make it any better?” He asked
If you kissed me, I rolled my eyes at my own thought.
“Ice cream?” I signed.
“You got it, let’s go.” He said
He made an illegal U-turn and made his was to our local ice cream shop.
“Let me guess one scoop of coffee and one scoop of banana?” He asked
“Yes.”
He smiled and parked the car in the lot of the shop.

Notes