I Did Something Bad

“It’s me.”

I feel numb. A part of me can’t believe he just said that, and the other part just doesn’t care anymore.

I see how Jack’s face suddenly loses any emotion on it and becomes completely expressionless. His arms uncross slowly and fall at his sides, he even slouches a little.

I wonder why Alex changed his mind.

After a few seconds of trying to process what Alex just said, Jack frowns, confused. I know that Alex understands that, it isn’t easy on neither of them.

“I am the guy she cheated on you with,” he repeats himself. I feel my chest rising and falling almost painfully, but I can’t stop it, and that’s the last thing on my mind right now.

Why is Jack so quiet? He obviously heard Alex, he even said it twice! The anticipation is killing me, I have no idea what’s going through his ind right now.

Alex turns to look at me briefly, Jack follows his gaze and all four eyes fall on me. However, Jack isn’t giving me an angry look anymore, he’s hurt, more than he wants to show.

I fight back the tears that I feel coming, and I turn my gaze away from him and set it on Alex. He looks back at Jack, trying to figure him out, but it’s impossible, even as his best friend.

After a moment of looking at me, Jack’s gaze turns darker, he clenches his fist and directs it straight to Alex’s face, who almost fell to the ground because of the sudden punch.

I did not see that coming.

I gasp and cover my mouth with my hands as Alex spits out blood, he tries to stand straight again but he doesn’t have much time to do so because Jack smashes his fist against Alex’s stomach. The wind was obviously knocked out of him, and he falls to the ground.

This is insane. I have no idea what to do.

“Jack!” I scream, wondering if he’ll even care. He doesn’t even acknowledge me, which doesn’t surprise me one bit. He doesn’t even look like Jack anymore.

“How could you, you fucking asshole?” Jack yells at Alex, who’s still on the ground. “You knew how much I fucking loved her!”

‘Loved’, past tense. It hurts, but there’s no time for that. Alex is receiving the beating of his life.

Alex hears Jack is speaking instead of punching, so he crawls to the nearest wall and uses it as support to stand up, but Jack uses this as an opportunity to take Alex as his punching bag. His knuckles are red with Alex’s and his own blood.

“Jack, stop it!” I scream again, with tears in my eyes. Alex is only using his hands to try and shield himself from Jack’s punches.

“Shut up!” He yells back at me. “I fucking loved you! And you do this? With my best friend?”

I’m sobbing now. His words kill me, but at least he’s not punching Alex as he yells at me.

“I’m sorry!” I repeat my words. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what I was thinking!”

“Of course you do,” Jack says bluntly as he lets go of Alex, who slides down the wall into the floor.

“What? No, Jack, I’m so-”

“Tell me,” he starts to make his way to me. Blood is dripping from his hands, and some is staining his shirt and face. Alex was right, he does look like a psychopath.

“What?” I ask, utterly confused.

I take a step back with each one he takes towards me. I just saw what he did to Alex, and I never saw Jack do something like that. It’s a scary sight.

I am now against the wall, and he’s towering over me.

“What were you thinking?” He asks, strangely calm.

“Jack, wh-”

“Tell me!” He roars in my face. I feel so small under his stare.

Jack cups a side of my face with his hand, in a strangely soft way, and pushes me against the wall.

“What were you thinking when you made out with Alex?” He asks again.

“N-Nothing!” I stutter, thinking that that’s what he wants to hear. “I wasn’t thinking, Jack. I was stupid.”

“No! What were you thinking?” He brings his face closer to mine. “Did you like it? Was he better than me? Was his tongue better than mine? Were his hands better than mine?”

He tightens his grip on me a little. It doesn’t hurt, but I feel so intimidated by him. I close my eyes as i start crying all of a sudden. This isn’t Jack. He doesn’t even sound like Jack, he doesn’t even feel like Jack anymore.

“Hey!” Alex calls as he stands up carefully. I open my eyes to look at him, he has blood on his mouth and a black eye creeping on his face. “It was my fault. She made me stop, okay? All she could talk about after it happened was you, Jack.”

“Aw,” Jack mocks and turns to me again. “I’m so happy you could only talk about me after you finished running your tongue inside my best friend’s mouth.”

I can’t deal with all the tears wetting my face right now. Some of them even get caught on Jack’s hand.

“It wasn’t like that, Jack,” Alex says calmly. “She said she’s sorry. I am sorry!”

“I don’t care!” Jack shouts at Alex. “You should’ve thought about that before you decided to fucking stab me in the fucking back!”

An unexpected sob made my shoulders jump slightly, which makes Jack turn his attention back to me. I feel his stare on me. His touch becomes so most softer, like I was used to being touched by him. His stare is on me, I’m not looking but I feel it. He leans closer, and his hot breath hits my face. I have goosebumps all of a sudden.

For a second I feel like this is Jack, and I feel like he could forgive me, and that everything could be the way it was before all this. His thumb runs down my cheekbone, wiping some of my tears away, as he presses his face against the top of my head and takes a sniff of my hair.

“I wished you hadn’t done this,” he whispers, very softly. I close my eyes, still sobbing a little. He lets go of me and walks back to Alex, who immediately tries to stand straight and weakly puts his hands in front of him. Any hope I had left quickly slips away. “Are you happy with this, babe?”

Jack’s question hits me hard. Not only because he’s reminding me that Alex’s bloody appearance is my fault, but he’s also calling me by my usual pet name, in the crudest, darkest way he can. I can’t take this any longer.

“Whatever,” I mutter, and Jack turns back to look at me. “I said I’m sorry, and meant it. I know I fucked up, big time, but unfortunately I can’t change what happened. I would if I could, but I can’t. You clearly don’t love me anymore, and I don’t want to be the reason why you’re so unhappy that you’d do that to your best friend!”

I sigh, and continue speaking. “For the last time, Jack, I love you, and I’m sorry. But I know that’s not enough, so I’m just gonna go.”

Jack keeps looking at me as I walk towards the stairs.

“Vi,” Alex calls me, but I don’t want to look back. Why is he calling me, though? He’s the one who came here and spitted it all out to Jack without warning. What would’ve happened if Alex hadn’t done that? It’s pointless to even think of any possible fate this could’ve had. It is what it is.

Jack doesn’t even say anything.

I go into our room, and subconsciously think about the last time I was there, and how I had no idea everything would turn out like this.

The glorious memory of spending entire days and nights with Jack on our bed are suddenly tainted by the memory of the mistake I made. And my heart breaks all over again.

I am still wondering whether this was the right decision or not, but that’s something I’ll never know for sure. All I know now, is that I have to go. It hurts me to leave, of course. I love Jack, and I never wanted to leave him, but he was right, I should’ve thought about that before I gave into a moment of weakness.

My suitcase is still downstairs, so there’s not much up here that I need besides that. I walk over to my nightstand and open the top drawer. There’s something in there that I don’t want to take, but I don’t want to leave. It’s a pick that Jack gave me from the first All Time Low concert I went to. I remember the night he gave it to me, and how it became one of my most prized possessions. Whatever, I’ll take it.

I only take a few other things from my closet, and carry on.

As I walk downstairs, I see Jack on the same position since I left, and Alex is leaning on a wall close to him, staring at the ground.

I take a deep breath and let go of it. The sound of my footsteps make both of them turn to look at me, so I give them one last empty look, grab my suitcase and walk out of the house, not knowing where I’ll go.

Notes

that’s it for the 5th chapter, everyone! hopefully you enjoyed it, hopefully you can’t wait for the next chapter! haha jk, I do apologize since it was very short. Something I wanted to address was that on the last chapter, some of you guys were saying that Jack was too violent, and while I agree that the real Jack Barakat probably wouldn’t act like this, I have to say that I love drama and wanted things to go 0 to 100 real quick, so let’s see this “dark side” of Jack as something he tries to keep hidden from not only his loved ones, but also his fans. I'll write more about Jack's feeling on the next chapters! Anyways, thanks for reading and I’ll see you (that’s right i can see you) when I post again!