I Did Something Bad
Everything Will Look Better in the Morning
The only thing I can think about as as open the door and run out of the bus is Jack. I can’t believe what I did, and I can’t believe it was with Alex, of all people.
I run as fast as I can, to get away from everyone and everything. There’s an ache inside of me, it’s not even the cramps anymore, it’s not the damn stomach pain I lied about, it’s something much worse, it’s knowing I did something bad.
I didn’t notice for how long I was running until my thighs were hurting and I could barely breathe. I was downtown already. I didn’t mean to get here, the last thing I need is people around me, taking pictures, questioning me about everything and, the worst of all, making assumptions about my relationship with Jack. But I’m not entitled to that anymore, I lost that privilege when I cheated on Jack.
Oh, fuck. The first time I actually say it to myself. I cheated. My stomach churns again as I think of whatever happened back in that bus. I need to clear my mind and think straight.
It’s quite late, I’d say close to 1 AM, and I looked down at my phone to confirm it. Under the time and date, I see a missed call. It’s Alex. What the fuck does he want now? He calls again, and I ignore it on purpose this time.
There aren’t a lot of stores open at this hour, so I just follow the biggest and brightest sign of all, McDonald’s.
It’s almost empty, so I don’t really fear being recognized by ATL’s fans.
After ordering and receiving the cup of coffee I asked for, I sit in a booth by myself.
I don’t want to tell Jack about this. How could I? If he never finds out, it can’t hurt him, can it? Could I live with the pain of knowing I cheated and never even had the decency to let him know? I don’t even want to know the answer to that, because it doesn’t matter what I decide, Jack’s gonna get hurt, and that’s the last thing I want.
You should’ve thought about that before cheating.
My mind scolded me. I remember everyone telling me to stop being so hard on myself while growing up, but this time I have no excuse. I still can’t believe I did that.
As I take the cup to my mouth, I notice that my it’s already empty and my hands are shaking around it, my nails sunk so hard into it that they left crescent marks.
My feet are tapping nervously on the floor, and I want to stop but I don’t know how. It’s driving me insane.
Good. That’s what you get.
I need more coffee. I walk back to the counter and ask for another coffee. While I’m waiting to receive it, I feel my phone buzzing on my pocket. Just once, so I know it’s a text. Then it buzzes again. I grab my coffee and sit again on the same booth, I take my phone out of my pocket and see the texts I got. They were both from Alex.
Sat, March 24, 1:39 AM
Hey we need to talk.
Where are you?
I know what he wants to talk about, I just don’t know how we’re going to talk about that. I also don’t want to ever talk to him. Okay, that was extreme. Or maybe not. I have no idea how I feel right now, all the emotions are mixed up in my head.
You feel like an idiot, and that’s how you should feel.
My phone buzzes again, making the table vibrate. I pick it up almost immediately, anything to keep my mind from yelling at me again with my own voice.
Sat, March 24, 1:39 AM
Hey we need to talk.
Where are you?
Sat, March 24, 2:01 AM
Listen, you should get here now okay?
What the hell? Is he giving me orders now? Does he not remember what just happened? Who does he think he-
My phone buzzes in my hand, it’s a text but this time it’s not from Alex.
Sat, March 24, 2:02 AM
Got here early
Where are you
As soon as I read Jack’s name on my screen, I start overthinking. Why did he go back early? Did he already talk to Alex? Does he know everything now? Why didn’t he call me “babe”, like he usually does, even on texts? I feel cold sweat running down my back.
It’s all too much for me, I can’t take it anymore. I just drop my phone on the table and let my face fall into my hands.
I’m crying. I’m sobbing. I’m bawling. How could I do it? The question will haunt me forever, whether I come clean or not.
What if I do come clean? Jack will surely break up with me, and hate me, and his friends will hate me, and his fans will hate me, and I will hate me. Alex is his best friend, he’ll eventually forgive him and they’ll go back to being best friends forever, and I’ll just be the slut that got between them when they were young.
I keep bawling my eyes out.
But what if I don’t tell him? Like, ever? I can’t. That’s the best answer my brain can come up with. I just can’t lie to him.
I feel like I can’t go back now. I also consider the option of just walking out of this McDonald’s and never turning back. Ghosting on Jack would nearly kill me, I know that much, but maybe it’d be better for him.
Don’t run away like a coward. Face the problems you brought on yourself.
I get another text, and this time I don’t even want to look at it.
There’s no coffee left on my cup, but I don’t want any more of it. My phone buzzes again, and again.
Sat, March 24, 2:02 AM
Got here early
Where are you
Sat, March 24, 2:24 AM
Baaaaaaaaabe
You gonna make me sleep alone??
:(
I feel a wave of relief wash over me. He called me “babe”, and he wants me to go back. But there’s this part of me that keeps pushing. It’s this a trap? Does he already know and just wants to see if I’ll confess or lie to him? Did Alex tell him everything but said I came on to him instead? Do Zack and Rian already know? They’d surely hate me, they’re very loyal friends.
Sat, March 24, 2:02 AM
Got here early
Where are you
Sat, March 24, 2:24 AM
Baaaaaaaaabe
You gonna make me sleep alone??
:(
Sat, March 24, 2:31 AM
Remember airport at 1
Shit. I completely forgot. We leave for LA tomorrow, we have to be at the airport at 1 PM, and I still haven’t packed a damn thing. That’s the least of my problems, though.
I try to make up my mind already. It’s late and whatever I choose to do will have to happen tomorrow, and sleeping always help. Everything will look better in the morning. At least that’s what I hope.
Notes
so i decided to post the second chapter now, just to kinda let you guys know what i'm doing with this story? i don't know if that makes sense but here it its, haha. thanks for reading, please enjoy!
Finally getting to this! XD :)
Yay, I'm glad my suggestions helped. :) I do like the Instagram type format better, it gets a bit confusing in this latest chapter especially with all the dots in the texting format you repeated, lol. Like I backtracked and thought they just meant pauses at first, as opposed to trying to align the texts in the correct places lol. Plus, it kind of gets repetitive with the texting format.
Now, as for the latest chapter...
Don't have as much to say about this one, since it's basically just a recount of the same time frame from Violet's POV, but, I'm glad we got it. I mean, how else would we have found out it was her that texted Jack? I wonder if Zack will ever realize or inform Jack that it wasn't him messaging.
I definitely think she needs to stay away for a bit, so maybe this trip to New York will help her, just until things blow over. I don't really see it being completely avoided forever, though. But who knows? She no longer has her phone, so... how will they be able to contact her? Unless they know her "sister" (it's her actual sister, right? It confused me a bit when she was explaining... because it could just be a friend that is so close she's basically a sister?). Ooohhhh and here comes a bias suggestion that just occurred to me, WAIT FOR IT XD :
Alex knows her sister, or recalls her and thinks to contact her, but Jack doesn't. XD Because Alex is just that attentive to Violet. :D And he finds her in New York. ;)
LMAO. The bias is so bad, I know. XD
Hmm... but anyway, Zack is such a sweet potato. :) I'm glad he let her stay even after she told him the truth. He could have easily kicked her out, but, it just shows how noble of a character he is. :')
Think that's all I have to report on, Captain. Until the next update! XD :)
5/22/18