I don’t know how it happened. My lips are throbbing under a deep crimson shade, and my hands are shaking right in front of me. I feel my knees about to give up on me, and my chest is heaving violently. I should probably tell you what led up to this moment.

It’s been a little over two years since I met Jack Barakat at one of my best friend’s birthday party. I suddenly fell in love with him, not so much as love at first sight, but it didn’t take a lot of glances in his direction to make me swoon over him. He was so funny and charming that no one could help but feel enchanted when he graced them with a look from those enormous bright eyes. I loved him. So much.

A few weeks went by and we started dating. Never had I felt anything so strong like that; it hurt me when he spent months apart, and it hurt him too, that’s why this year he asked me to go on tour with him.

I love All Time Low, and I love being there for Jack. For the others, too. In the past two years, we’ve grown closer than I could have ever expected to be with those three weird guys. Everything was simply peachy for me. Oh, if only it could’ve stayed that way.

The tour had come to an end, I wouldn’t say we were too upset about it, it had been a lot of fun and very exciting, but the guys were exhausted, and I was kinda tired too.

Jack, being the party guy everyone sees him as, didn’t turn down an invitation to celebrate a successful tour, but I wasn’t feeling great, so I told him I would stay on the bus that night. He told me he would stay with me, but he was so excited about the party that I couldn’t let him miss it just because I had some period cramps, so he happily went along with the guys.

That night, I went out and bought some snacks for my night in, I was pretty pumped about staying on Jack’s bunk (mine didn’t smell like his cologne!) and catching up on the shows I’ve been missing since I came along on this tour. I got into the bus and left my bag of junk I bought on a counter in the kitchen, then I went to change into a more comfortable attire: one of Jack’s shirts and pj’s shorts. I set my laptop on the bed and went into Netflix, trying to decide what to watch. It was taking me way too long to choose something, so I thought I’d just let fate decide and choose a random thing from my recommended list. Once that was set, I walked back to the kitchen to grab my snacks when I noticed they weren’t there anymore.

I found that weird, but my short term memory wasn’t great (neither was my long term memory, who am I kidding?) so I decided to look around, in case I had left it somewhere else. I looked in all the places I had been before going to change, and it was nowhere to be found.

I was weirded out, but most of all, I was pissed. And the aching on my ventral area wasn’t helping. “What the fuck?” I finally breathed out as I slammed my hands on the counter.

“What?” someone said as they approached me, and I jumped back.

“Jesus,” I breathed out as I took a hand to my chest. It was only Alex, but I hadn’t expected to have company that night, especially not like that! He had probably just taken a shower, because he was wearing nothing but a white towel around his waist, exposing his entire torso.

“What?” He repeated his question, this time with a chuckle. His tones chest rose as his soft laugh came out of his mouth.

“Nothing,” I told him. I had finally managed to look away from his naked upper body, and noticed he had a pack of (my)skittles in his hand. “Just looking for that.”

“Oh, that bag was yours?” He arched a bushy eyebrow. “Sorry, I had no idea.”

“It’s fine,” I shrugged. I was a little startled, not only was he almost naked, he was also speaking in a lower voice, much deeper and raspier than usual. Maybe it was the fact that he had strained his voice for weeks on end, who knows?

“I should probably give it back,” he said with a grin. “Oh, shit.”

“What?” I frowned at his expression.

“I finished it all already,” he shook his head and looked down. As his gaze fell on the ground, it then started escalating up my bare legs. It was supposed to make me feel uncomfortable, he’d never looked at me like that, Hell, no one who wasn’t Jack had ever looked at me like that. But it wasn’t, I wasn’t uncomfortable at all.

“Uh, it doesn’t matter,” I said softly as I took a step forward, about to leave for my bunk, resigned to watch Netflix fasting. But he stepped aside, standing on my way with his bushy eyebrow still up, and I wasn’t upset about that, I wanted to stay and chat with him.

“Why didn’t you go to the party, with Jack?” He made a little pause before saying my boyfriend’s name. “Problem’s in paradise?”

“What?” I chuckled slightly at his assumption. “No, no, no. I just wasn’t feeling great.”

His brown eyes softened at my answer.

“What’s wrong?” He furrowed his brow and tilted his head, his wet caramel hair falling over his face. I had to admit, he looked pretty cute.

“My stomach hurts,” I told him, deciding it was easier than going into the topic of the actual pains.

“Oh, that sucks,” he said, his voice still raspy, which I hate to say, I was finding quite pleasant.

Alex took a step closer and I almost thought it was too close, but I could see his bright eyes and his smirk up close, so I didn’t complain. I wanted to shake those thoughts out of my head, I didn’t even know why i was having them, but he suddenly placed his palm on my stomach and pressed a little. My heart started beating faster, and my cheeks were starting to burn.

I had no idea what was going on. It’s like I knew exactly what was happening, but at the same time there was nothing I could (or wanted to) do.

He slowly moved his hand from my stomach and placed it on my hips, then he placed his other hand on my waist and softly pushed me to the counter behind me. His eyes looked me up and down again, but this time he bit his lip as he did.

Nothing like this had ever happened before. Hell, nothing was happening at that very moment, he was just giving me strange looks and putting his hands on me, but it hadn’t been anything strictly wrong.

And then it happened.

Alex pushed his mouth against mine and pressed his body on mine. I should say I was shocked, I should say I was trying to push him off of me, I should say I was thinking about Jack the whole time. But I wasn’t. Instead, I was kissing him back.

I hate myself for saying it, but I wanted him.

He started kissing me harder, and I took my hands to his chest, caressing his hot, naked skin. He removed his hand from my waist and took it to my thigh, he grazed my skin with the back of his hand. It was making me want him more, it was driving me crazy.

His hand went up my thigh, and when he tugged on the hem of my shorts that covered my inner thigh, it suddenly hit me. I was kissing a man who wasn’t Jack, I was touching a body that wasn’t Jack’s, some hands were inching up my thigh which weren’t Jack’s!

I strongly pushed him away, my palms still flat on his chest.

I don’t know how it happened. My lips are throbbing under a deep crimson shade, and my hands are shaking right in front of me. I feel my knees about to give up on me, and my chest is heaving violently.

I look up and see Alex breathing heavily, with his eyes still on me. I part my lips, I want to say something, but no words leave my mouth, I am officially speechless. So I only shake my head instead, and sprint out of the bus.

Notes

hey, everyone! i wanted to write something about Jack, but also about Alex and i had no idea what to write, until this was revealed to me in a dream. jk, but really, i once had a dream about something like this and thought it was pretty cool, so i decided to write it because wth! i really hope you like this, if you do please let me know so i have inspiration to continue this! thank you for reading this, and please enjoy!