Dark affairs - Comments, page 2

@Nanook
Thank you so much, I really felt very insecure about the chapter. I didn't want it to be either ridiculous or disgusting, so I'm glad it passed as presentable. Now we're off to the last curve!

@ALoveLikeNever_14
Do you really think it's gonna be a happy ending? Do you? ;)

Oh my goodness! This is so cute! Maybe they'll finally be together now! Unless society doesn't allow it... Lol. I make my own suspence sometimes. Very amazing though! Good job love!

:OOOO
Great job with both updates! I always feel awkward when I comment about those types of chapters, but I want to reassure you that it was good! Be confident in your writing! We all knew it was going to happen at some point anyway. XD
As for the second update, it was really cute! A bit awkward for them, but they worked it out and now they're just loving each other and it's really sweet. :')
Hmm... wonder what's going to happen now though? I'm on the side that I hope they all end up happy. Hoping it works out for them... but things are never that easy unfortunately. :/
Can't wait to see what happens next!

OH my god.

Alex is a mess.

OMG.
That's all I can say right now. :O

Oh my gosh, Alex. Get it together!!

im sad to see this end. But I'm excited to see where we're going, lol.

OMG this is great! But why is Alex being an ass? We'll find out in all due time, lol.

OMG is it really coming to an end? :'(
It honestly feels like it just started. XD Where did the time go? But seriously. I'm really wondering how you plan to wrap it up now. Was thinking there would be more so it surprises me that you plan on ending it soon. XD But no worries.
As for the new chapter, great job with it! Alex still be confusing... maybe that's why I'm surprised it's ending soon, it just seems like a lot still needs to be resolved with him... but idk.
Jack was sweet, though. :) Can't wait to see how it continues. :D

Great job with the new chapter! Yay, they are back! :D
Alex... sigh, he's either heavily invested or just turns away from them completely. This back and forth is getting a bit redundant, he just needs to decide what he feels. Even if they can't be together, it doesn't mean he should distance himself. :/
A few things to note:
He's is going out of his mind worrying about you."
"He's is" is redundant, you would either just say "He is" or "He's", with both it's literally saying "He is is", lol. That just might have been an unintentional error though.
I stop and breath out slowly because I'm trying to suppress the urge to cough my lungs out.
Found this ironic considering the title of the chapter. "Breathe" not "breath".
"....Yes, sir, you can see your girlfriend but there is doctors visit at the moment
Here you would want to say "there is a doctor visiting" or maybe just rephrase the line... it was a bit awkward.
But other than those things, great job with the chapter, as I said earlier. :) Really enjoyed it, and glad they are back from tour so things aren't as detached and can finally be worked out a bit now, with them being in a close proximity. Can't wait to see what happens next! :)
P.S. Congrats on 16 subscribers! Woot! :D

@T-what
Maybe it's jealousy? You never know with Alex and his major mood swings, lol. I'm serious though. You're writing has been my entertainment lately. But the suspence is killing me. Will they get into that polyamory? Will they just give up with Alex? Will Alex end up winning either Mickey or Jack and leave the other behind? Will they ever be real friends again? Oh my god, I love it though! I swear if you stopped writing I would cry! You are one of my favorite writers on here along with @Jagk. Keep it up love!

@ALoveLikeNever_14
Awww thank you darling! And yeah, why is Alex being so weird? Is it a payback sort of thing? Or does he have another reason?

Yay! I love this so much, but Alex is so distant. It's making me feel annoyed. Honestly, I think his intentions are to make Jack and Mickey feel bad. None-of-the-less, this story is amazing! Keep up the good work!

Oh, gotcha. I understand, it happens.
And ohhh... I hadn't really thought of that, yeah, you mentioned that before but it just seemed a bit off in this last chapter, lol. But that makes sense now. XD

@Nanook
I admit, I rushed the chapter a bit and didn't really proof read and I'm still struggling with my writing so I wanted to get a chapter out although it feels like a pointless one.
The thermometer, yes of course it's common to have one, I wanted to show that Mickey is a bit of a chaos queen, not really organised and not exactly bothered by it. So she has drawers full of useless stuff in her kitchen but no necessary first aid equipment. Maybe I should have explained this a bit more.

Oh noooo. :(
Poor Mickey. :/ I wonder if Jack is going to come back now that she's in the hospital? :O
Great job with the chapter! There were some things with grammar though girl, and you've been doing so well. :( I'm thinking it was probably a bit rushed and that's why it happened probably. I won't be annoying and point them all out though.
However, one thing I really want to (mainly because it's an extreme pet peeve):
He goes on hardly taking time to breath.
It should be "breathe." "Breath" is like, "a breath of fresh air," whereas you would use "breathe" here because you're saying like "breathe in, breathe out."
Also this just wanted to say something about this part:
I look at him as if he had just grown two heads, who has a thermometer at home? I'm not a paramedic, am I ?
Having a thermometer at home is actually pretty common, so I found it a bit weird how Mickey questioned it. Or perhaps it's not common in other countries? But here in the U.S. it definitely is. Her not having one, or more specifically, her questioning why she should have one, makes her seem a bit idiotic, lol. Unless you want her to be portrayed that way, but I hope not, because up until this point she's seemed like a pretty smart character. Maybe it's just a play on her insanity from being sick? lol. But just something to consider logically. If it's her not thinking clearly, her illogical thinking would just need to be elaborated on.
But anyway, other than those two things and some other minor grammar things, thought you did a great job with the chapter! Can't wait for the next! :D

Oh no! Mickey can't catch a break! It's cute how Jack enlisted a friend to make sure she was okay.

Awww, Mickey. :(
They need to reassure her that she is loved and important. WTF did Alex even say that for, though? I assume maybe he was just trying to hide it from Jack, or at least I hope so. Like he had to know what he was saying, though. Like he was apologizing for his actions and a great deal was talking about why he missed her, and only a small portion of it was actually a nuisance. Hmm...
Anyway, I would like to see those two put some effort in for her. Show her love. :(
Excited for the next update!

Poor Mickey. :-( It's not surprising that this whole crazy arrangement would send her into a frenzy, especially after that week she had with them on tour. Hopefully a little space from it all will give them clearer heads so they can move forward in a better way.