We Are The Rebellious Youth - Comments, page 14

@Newyork_xo

lol, girl, my @ in your comment. XD
But YAASSS, State Champs. Literally have proven that true early 2000's pop punk still exists and I love it. :D All Time Low was there kind of but SC is just on a whole different level sound-wise.

Great job with the update! Sorry for the delay girl, I feel like I'm always on when there's a break between updates but then when I'm not able to get on, everyone just updates. XD It never works out in my favor.
Ironically, going back to the new album talk... as I was reading this chapter, the title track for the album came to mind. :) Especially at the end there where things got more action-y and they had to get out of there, lol. And like, the lyrics to that song kind of relate to them in a way. Alex is chasing a girl that he feels something heavily for that he's not admitting to himself. He is a little bit, but right now it's just in a friend-way. But then... it makes me think of the other songs like "Drugs & Candy" because it could also be a bit of a toxic relationship he can't get enough of...
Wow. Sorry, I'm just like full-on analyzing now.
I think I can see what you mean, btw, when you say something is missing. Some of the songs are like that for me. Like they have this build up that should have led to something more and then it's just not there for some reason. But the album as a whole, I think I love for the nostalgic songs, the new sounds they're working with, and I think looking at each song's concept individually, they all add up together. But yeah, some of the songs I definitely love more than others, for sure.
Anyways, back to the story/chapter... wasn't Alex already kind of a rebel? I mean, I know Mickey's on another level, but would it really be that surprising if he went really rebel as well? Assumedly, he was already kind of like that with other girls before her. So I guess I'm just saying... I don't see that really changing him at all, or being a concern, since he was already kind of like that? But idk. I'm just confused on how it would really be different from before, I guess.
Some things I spotted:
“Where are we going to go?” I asked Mickey as we stepped in the truck that I h ad saved her from when it had broken down just a while ago.
A space between the letters of the first "had" lol.
A part of me wanted to break them up, but I could risk Devon getting mad at me in the middle of a public place with children present.
I think you would want to say "couldn't risk," because if he "could risk," why was he questioning it in the first place?
“Do you guys know that guy?” The mall cop asked up, trying to catch his breath as we saw other men in uniform running towards the exit.
Thinking "up" was supposed to be "us" lol.
But other than that, everything else was solid. :) Can't wait to see what's next in store! And bummer that the other author had to drop out, but I admire you for taking this on. :)

@Newyork_xo
They came here a couple of months ago but I didn't realize until it was the actual date of the show. Their music is great, though.

I've got a whole plan laid out with what is going to happen. Who knows, maybe Alex will turn into a rebel as well ;)

@Nabokov
@aweirdkindofyellow

Just creeping on your comments here... I looooove State Champs. I've seen them quite a few times over the years, most recently a few weeks ago, and they always put on an amazing show.

Oh boy. Why do I feel like Mickey's going to now get Alex mixed up in a whole new world of trouble he wouldn't even think of?

XD
Yesss, I've loved them since I first heard Elevated used in the game Crazy Taxi. They put the game available on iPhone and just that game has always had rad songs, and so the new version had theirs and I was like yesss it was so awesome, lol.
And yeah, I guess you don't have to say bringing it back, but, they're sticking with what how the genre was originally defined, at least for me anyway. Like their sound is truly what pop punk is to me. Like a mixture of early 2000s Blink, Sum 41, Simple Plan, etc. It's just awesome how they were able to accomplish that sound. :) As I said, ATL has done it to an extent but State Champs really has done it more for me, idk.

@Nanook
I'm so used to bringing food to school like that when I lived in countries that had hot lunches instead of simple sandwiches. Pasta and pizza can totally last a couple of hours in a closed space. Maybe my food just has some crazy superpowers xD
I've had State Champs on repeat right now. They are just so good. I found out about them when 'Around the World and Back' literally just came out. One of the audio tracks was just put on youtube and came into my recommendation box. Loved them ever since.
I would want to say I love that they're bringing 2000's pop punk back, not because I don't like it, but because I was born in 2000... For me it isn't exactly being 'brought back.' I do however know many songs I used to hear on the radio when I was younger... Either way, it doesn't matter, cause they're awesome AF and that's all that counts to me.

@aweirdkindofyellow
Oh, no, that's normal. lol. I was just thinking by the time she ate it at school, lol. As for it being cold though, that is really odd. XD Like, even room temperature. I think I misinterpreted the conditions of it, lol.
And LMAO, you're welcome. XD But yeah, I understand. It's not really something you can rock out to like State Champs, and OMG, they are my fav pop punk group right now! They give me so much hope... with bringing back that early 2000's pop punk and I just love it. :D I actually just saw them on Sunday and met Evan! :D They are rad.
Alex helped write Slow Burn and he just needs to stay away tbh. XD He's probably going to ruin their sound if he gets too involved. :( All Time Low has never hit that mark of pop punk State Champs does. I still love ATL dearly and they've had songs that are pretty close, but the first time I heard Elevated, mannn... that changed the game for recent pop punk.

@Nanook
I often keep leftover pizza in the fridge... is that not normal? Should I keep it out? Plus, cold pizza is actually pretty good. Like, not right out of the fridge cold, but room temperature cold pizza is great.
Mickey's a confusing character, isn't she? xD
I now can't unhear 'chew'... goddammit. I guess he really likes food... Last Young Renegade it definitely my favorite as well. I also don't mind that they are experimenting. It's their music, they get to choose what they want to do. I just don't know if it's for me, you know? I'll still listen to it, but I don't listen to them every day anymore. I've been getting really into State Champs now. I obviously already love them (I use their songs in Hospital Beds and Memories), but now they might actually go to number one on my list.

@atlfan08
Haha, it happens. :P
And OMG, yesss! I knew there was a reason why I liked your writing! Haha, he's one of my favorites too! I need to catch up with his last couple, but always try to read each of his books then see the movies. :)


@aweirdkindofyellow
Great job with the new chapter! Haha, it was entertaining as always. I love how Alex's ex showed up, and then Mickey wasn't even bothered LMAO.
Her wrapping her lunch in duck tape is seriously the most weird and unideal thing I ever heard lol. XD But hey, whatever works. One thing you mayyy want to consider logically though, if that was old pizza... like, would that keep? Would that even be okay to eat? The fact that she's eating it without heating it is weird enough, but I'm just wondering how good that would be... like if pizza is left out, it goes bad and I'm just wondering logically with that. XD But I'm overthinking a bit. lol.
One thing I spotted:
but I couldn’t risk him opening his mouth and tell everybody what had happened just a few days before.
The inconsistency with the verbs here bothers me. XD I think it should be "telling" so that it matches up. Because without the "opening his mouth" part, it would read "I couldn't risk him tell everybody what had happened..." See what I mean? lol.
But other than that, great job with the chapter! Oooh... so Alex's is skipping with her now, this should be good. :) And I just love how Mickey's in denial with being his friend and thinking the boys are lame... yet she invites them all to skip with her. XD
As for the new song, I hated it at first too LMAO. But now I like it. It's not my favorite, but it's tolerable. Where in the hell has Alex been hiding those high notes, though? Seriously. XD "I've been thinking about chuuuu..." lol. It's "you" in the song but it literally sounds like "chuu" or "chew" every time I listen to it. XD
So far my favorite of the singles is Last Young Renegade, because it's just... it reminds me the most of their usual sound. :) Not that I don't dig their experimenting, but it just reminds me of why I love the band in the first place, if that makes sense.
Anyway, can't wait for more of the story! :D I'm finally catching up, lol.

@Newyork_xo
I actually do like the song now xD Just as expected, it took me a while to warm up to it. It might not be the same sound I fell in love with, but I can work with it for a while.

Well, I'm certainly not surprised Alex took the opportunity to skip class with Mickey. I can only assume that means more trouble.

As for Life of the Party... I actually really like it. I enjoy this new sound they're exploring, while not venturing too far away from their signature sound. I'm definitely looking forward to what the rest of the album will sound like.

@Newyork_xo
Yup he's slowly breaking down that tough exterior of hers...:) Though we all know how damn stubborn Mickey is... It might be a while haha

@Nanook
Thanks for the edit suggestions...I'll fix them when I have more time! I understand how some of those sentences are a bit awkward to read, now that I look at them. It made sense when I was writing them at six in the morning lol. Oh well.

Side note, I LOVE A Walk To Remember. Nicholas Sparks is one of my favorite authors. Now, I wasn't thinking about It at all while writing this, but if it made you think about that then yay :P

Woot, woot, another update! :D Glad you got the chance to post again. :)
Great job with the chapter! Oooh... we finally get to see a sweeter side to Mickey. :) This is refreshing, haha. But she does owe Alex, so, it's the least she can do. XD
I'm surprised Alex's mom didn't pick up on the fact that Alex has a thing for her, I thought for sure that would be her next question, lol. Or one of them.
Couple of things to point out:
She needs someone to have faith in her, whether she wants to or not.”
I'm thinking here you'll want to have "whether she wants them to" or "whether she wants that or", because as is, it just sounds a bit awkward with just "she wants to". Idk, something with the way it reads. I may be getting overly technical though, sorry if so. XD
But fun fact, this line/general part of the chapter reminded me of when Landon in A Walk to Remember was telling his mother about how Jaimie has faith in him. :') "It's different with her, Mom. She has... faith in me." Idk if that inspired but it just made me think of it. MY ALL TIME FAVORITE MOVIE. :')
“But maybe that’s just it, okay? Maybe I need to help Micky because I see a bit of myself in her.
Mickey is just missing the 'e' lol.
“Looks like our guest is has awoken from her slumber.”
Just get rid of 'is'.
But other than that, it's all good, I think. :) Great character development in this chapter. Also liked how you took a time out from Mickey and Alex and just had Alex talk to his mom a bit. Oddly enough, I don't see that enough in fan fics, where the writers just think to take a time out from the two main characters. It's done occasionally, but I love how you two have taken a different focus with that, with including it more, if that makes sense. It is a good thing.
But anyway, loved the chapter and can't wait for more! :)

Little by little Alex will chisel away at the wall she's got built up around her. At least now he's got a little more insight to why she is the way she is. Patience, Alex! Just have patience!

lol, I went and looked and saw what you did. That makes a bit more sense now for a drunk person, lol.
And I officially suck, I am so sorry it's taken me so long to respond. These next few weeks are hell for me, so my comments will probably be spacey. lol. But I'm going to go read your new chapters for your other story now!

@Nanook
I switched 'surname' out with three sentences xD I'm dedicated to make her seem more drunk!

lol, you're very proper then for the surname thing. XD I just found it a bit odd because usually actions/words aren't as complex as that word just seems, you know? lol. But who knows, maybe Mickey could be a proper drunk. XD But that may need some adjusting with some of her other actions for it to make sense.
As for the last one, you could probably just let it go, but it just seemed a bit off to me. I'll stick by my suggestion of just getting rid of the last semi-colon. One is okay, but generally more than one semi-colon insinuates a list of some sort, and even when that happens it's for a more specific reason, whereas here it's just kind of debatable if it should be used or not. But not as big of an issue as some of the other things, so I wouldn't blame you if you just left it go, lol.

@Nanook
I had so many ideas for this chapter for months now and slowly forgot them all over time xD Glad to know you still like it.
As for the mistakes, I'll explain them a little this time. First one is my bad. Micheal isn't her step dad, I should correct that. Missing punctuation is probably due to me editing and switching around sentences. If not, well then it's either my brain did a weird thing or my keyboard fucked up (lately the spacebar has been not working sometimes). The surname thing is just trained into me xD I completely forgot about the possibility of using 'last name'. People have many times corrected me by giving their last middle name instead of their surname before. I'll change it into something way vaguer than just 'last name'. The last thing, I'm not sure how to deal with. At first, I had only commas, but I couldn't see what belonged to what anymore, so I switched it to periods. But then it was more like statements rather than her rambling what's on her mind, you know? So... I don't know what to do with that one.