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Smooth Criminal - Comments, page 5
Oh my God...
So I just stumbled across this story the other day, bookmarked it and started reading it yesterday...
It is seriously amazing. You are such a talented writer.
This is the first story in a while that I've found about ATL as teens that has actually been updated recently. lol. Most of the ones I read with them this age are from years ago and have either been completed or not updated for the longest time... so I was surprised when I found this one.
And I guess it's understandable. They're a lot older now, so not as many people are writing about them in their teen years.
This story though. Alex and Stella's relationship just tugs at the heartstrings, for sure. I'm still a bit concerned with Alex's feelings, but, after that last chapter, it's really sweet to see that they both do love each other. Although Alex's past relationships are a concern for coming up in the future, I sense. :/
But still. I am just loving this story.
One thing that I just kind of find off is some of the references, but I'm really just nit-picking. The outfits you pick out for them seem more current as opposed to 2006-ish, or around the time ATL was in their senior year. And then the whole "social media" reference... that term may be a little too current for the story, considering the main one back then was MySpace. But Facebook was technically there too... idk, the term just seemed off to me to use for the setting of it. Unless we're picturing teenage ATL current day? Which could possibly be the case, but then the MySpace reference threw me off with that. lol.
I was also going to say about how Alex attacking her seemed completely off too (in comparison to his beliefs in reality) but after it was explained/what happened overall, I can see why you had that happen. I mean, that was seriously crossing the line if there ever was one.
Ugh, I feel like my comment is lame with expressing my true thoughts, I'm usually better at this but I'm kind of tired at the moment. lol. And I feel like I haven't expressed everything I've wanted to with what I love about it, but I'll stop now seeing as this is already an extremely long comment. lol. But I seriously love this story, it's awesome and I really hope you choose to continue it soon. :) Don't take my criticism too harshly, again, it was just things I was nitpicking a bit with.
You have me as another reader, for sure, and I can't wait to see what else you have in store for it.
@katybear18
Pretty good. One of my friends came with me to my grandparents' house and spent the night after the fireworks
@Alex Gascarth my fourth was great, actually! I sat around with some friends and did absolutely nothing until it was time to go see fireworks. What about you, babe?
@katybear18
I know. God I feel bad for Stella. Her dad just sounds plain awful. Also how was your fourth?
@Carebear thanks, lil nugget! that means a whole lot!! Zack definitely has Stella's best interest at heart so he knew what he was doing ;)
Hi Bean! This was a really great chapter. I am glad they fixed everything. Zack is such a smarty with the whole suggest they talk to each other thing. :o)
@Alex Gascarth
I did not know this either and I shall now refer to all of my friends as beans. This is a fun idea. I have always said cool beans for pretty much everything. Now I have another use for it! lol
@Jack Bakarat that made me incredibly happy. my vocabulary has been vastly expanded. thank you much, dear.
@katybear18
I'm glad they do
Calling someone a bean is basically the equivalent of calling them adorable
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@Nanook any and all criticism is always welcomed, love. No worries. :) I know there's a few things throughout the story that are more so modern as opposed to what was really going on in 2006, but some of it kind of has to do with the plot line. I remember them saying something about having a MySpace page, but I'm also keeping in mind that 2006 is also when technology was a new concept and not very, well, good so-to-speak haha. I just needed some kind of "job" for Stella that would make sense for where she's going to be later during the second part of this story.
Your comment has seriously made my day. You're so sweet and I honestly and truly appreciate everything you said. Receiving comments such as your's are the reason I love writing. Thank you so much.
7/13/16