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Smooth Criminal - Comments

This was one of my absolute favorite stories. I am very curious to know if you are going to continue with this? Because I have to know what happens next.

BreaClift. BreaClift.
6/14/21

I want to know if there is going to be sequel to this story?

BreaClift. BreaClift.
3/26/19

I don't remember anything. I need to restart this. Damn, all I remember is loving this. Only more reason to read it all again.

Haha, keepin' it real. :) No worries, the only one that was kind of concerning was the Blink-180 because I think that's the first time I've ever seen that. XD But I figured it was a typo.
:)

Nanook Nanook
1/4/19

@Daydreamers her big reveal will be in the last chapter ;) hang tight.

katybear18 katybear18
1/4/19

@Nanook I’m not even gonna lie; I wrote this at like 3am with a sick toddler climbing on me haha so those are all typos you just caught me on lol thank you though! I knew I should have gone back and reread everything.. Haha as far as the ending goessssss.... You’re just gonna have to wait and see. ;)
And writing the sequel after having raised two babies is going to be really fun. As OCD about factual information as I am, it’ll be awesome.

katybear18 katybear18
1/4/19

I'm hoping Stella tells him soon. He needs to know. Especially before tour

Daydreamers Daydreamers
1/4/19

OMG, yay, two updates! Sorry for the delay in commenting after the first one. But I just read both! :)
Hmmmmm....
Hmmmm....
XD I don't think I trust Alex's words. My God, I feel like he's made that same promise to her like 30 times. Is it just me? XD
lol, I always get anxious reading new updates to this, on a random note. XD I'm just, waiting for the other shoe to drop basically. It did a bit again in this last update. But I'm just like, waiting for the reaction of when she reveals the secret. Whether that considers Alex, her parents, or whoever, lol, I just feel like not all is going to be peachy with at least one of them. Who am I kidding, that would be a miracle on 34th street if her father accepted it. XD
A few things to point out in chapter 39 (technically thirty-seven):
Rian was in the middle of describing some Blink-180 tattoo he wanted
lol, Blink-180. XD I'm dying. XD Or, well, maybe you did that to not get a copyright? XDD
It was truly a nascence.
Nasence... nuisance? I tried looking up nascence and couldn't find a definition that fit. Maybe I'm missing something though. XD
And dealing with my drunken friends all night long didn’t exactly seem like the best way to celebrate the end the school year.
'the end of' I'm thinking? Or you probably just reworded here and it threw things off.
Those are the only things I spotted though.
Hmmm.... Again, I wonder if Alex will actually keep the promise this time. He gave a little bit of an explanation, but... was that really satisfying enough? Idk, I feel like he's still hiding something in regards to why he's still hanging out with her. I'm not sure if you actually have something still hidden or not, but a theory: maybe she has something on Stella, and he just still talks to her because he's trying to protect Stella? That would be a good twist, and hey, would actually make my annoyance with him go away. Because I mean... idk, this explanation he gave just doesn't seem like the complete truth.
Interested in seeing how it continues; can't believe it's almost over. :O And congrats on another girl! That's awesome. :) If you end up writing about when Stella has the baby, like, as the kid grows up, you're definitely gonna have your research from personal experience which I think is pretty cool. :) A lot of fan fic writers just go into it not knowing, so it'll be nice to see because I think you'll definitely keep things accurate on how it truly is. :) (I don't have a kid yet so I don't know the full situation of how it works, but I'll read some writers and I'll just be like c'monnnn... like they're not accurate at all XD).

Nanook Nanook
1/4/19

lol, oh, okay, that's good to know I wasn't completely in the dark then. XD I was like what. XD But yeah I understand wanting to keep it on the DL for now. And aw, one of those shoots would be so cute! :D
And you would be surprised how many things I've seen made up in stories. Mannn.... XD
And I hope so. Hmm... this has me wondering even more then how you plan on ending this installment.
OMG really?! :OO Haha I'm glad I could leave an impact. :D But yeah, if it works, go for it! :)

Nanook Nanook
10/17/18

1.) I KNEW SHE WAS PREGNANT
2.) I saw All Time Low last Saturday. It was amazing

Daydreamers Daydreamers
10/15/18

@Nanook i literally just told my family tonight haha so I haven’t put anything on social media juuuust yet. I think we’re going to wait a few more weeks (until I’m out of trimester 1) until we make the announcement. I wanna do one of those cliche, lame ass pumpkin shoots bahaha
and girl, I always do my research before throwing something out into the universe. My writing ocd would drive me insane.
Stella’s going to tell Alex soon, I promise! She’s just waiting for the right time/for all the chaos of the ending school year to get a little less hectic. Especially on the boys’ end.
I never thought about a boy.... I think that would actually work out better for the sake of the sequel... *intense eyebrow lofting* You just changed the game. Thank you.

katybear18 katybear18
10/13/18

In response to your last comment, first...
I'm glad you have respect towards writing about eating disorders. <3 That's awesome because sometimes I feel like writers don't.
And thanks for clarifying if she was lying or not... I wasn't sure what the approach you were going for was. I figured she was lying, but I didn't know if you were trying to work in another concept where Stella doesn't recognize what she's doing.
Okay, now the update!
OMG, so pregnancy had been my initial thought with it all, but the whole weight loss thing threw me off. I didn't realize that losing weight could happen; the more you know. :) That's cool how you asked your OB about it; it shows you did your research and didn't just make it up fully for the story, other than the weight loss being slightly drastic. But you're right; that factor is minimal compared to other stuff that's impossible put in stories on here, lol.
But speaking of, girllllll.... you're having another baby?! :O Why did I not know about this? XD I guess I need to catch up on Instagram if you've posted about it... maybe you haven't though. But I had no idea. :O That's great though; congrats! :D
I want to point out two things that I liked:
So here I was, two o’clock in the morning, chugging the massive container of orange juice I had just purchased at the corner store I had snuck out of the window in my room to go to.
YAAASSS, Juno reference ftw. Or I hope that's what this referenced, lol, who knows, there's a chance it could be an entire coincidence. XD
A car passing the school had its radio up too loud, the upbeat pop song serenading the moment in such an ill fashion.
I really loved your word choices here; it's just awesomely put and very sophisticated in writing. :)
But ugh, Stella... *facepalm*. Here she goes hiding stuff from Alex again, or just like, not being completely honest/open with him. Ugh, why can't people just be straightforward? Like I picture myself in the situation, and like, it would just bother me too much to hide it. But idk, I understand emotions are running high and it may be hard to determine that or relate until you actually experience it. But she really needs to tell him. Plus, it's partly his fault too; I guess I just don't like the concept because it's almost like it's letting him off the hook, you know? Even though he was part of the cause of the issue. Sigh.
So, this chapter didn't make me as mad as the last update, lol, but still a bit frustrated. Haha, I guess it's just a stressful feeling mainly, where it's like, I'm wondering what's going to happen next and how you're choosing to end this installment.
If she keeps the baby, I vote for her having a boy. :D I feel like I don't often see a boy. It's usually a girl lol. I'm not sure if you planned that out yet, though; perhaps you have, so I totally understand if that's the case.
I saw ATL mid-August! :D They were awesome, although I'm a bit disappointed that nothing too different happened at the Baltimore show. Usually something does to mark the hometown. :/ But oh well.
I'm sad that you weren't able to see Chris/Dashboard Confessional on the second half. He's honestly the sweetest and it's unfortunate he had to drop out of the tour. :( I highly recommend seeing him live though if you haven't yet; he's awesome, and just very humble. :)
But anyway, back to the update... great job with it overall! Found it interesting. Can't wait for more! :D

Nanook Nanook
10/13/18

I’m still wondering what’s wrong with Stella. I have a few assumptions lol. Over all I can’t wait to continue to read this story. I want you to take your time with posting more chapters. I hope that you are doing well.

BreaClift. BreaClift.
10/9/18

@Nanook she didn’t correct Alex for a reason. but I can assure you she doesn’t have an eating disorder. I’d put a lot more work and effort and substance into that kind of story line, trust me. as someone who’s suffered from one, I know those kind of plot lines deserve delicate respect and you can’t just beat around the bush. as far as Alex goes, he’s just a frustrating teenage human who’s confused and is willing to believe any sort of “answers” that are being given to him. Lisa’s just a bitch and is giving him false information so she can have Alex to herself. bitch... I finished the next chapter last night, so I might post it later today depending on how fast I can clean my house LOL all answers will be revealed soon.

katybear18 katybear18
10/9/18

Well. I think it was a bad decision to read this first thing in the morning.
... because now I'm like, totally pissed off. XD OMG, I'm so annoyed, this chapter man. >:(
Just like everything happening; it's not your fault. Still amazingly written, as always. Just a lot of shit that's just unnecessary still happening. Teenagers and their drama, man.
I'm honestly unsure why Alex just hasn't come out with it yet. He better soon before I lose my mind, like, why he's been hanging out with Lisa so much. And also, taking her word above Stella's. ...I can't. XD
“That’s why I haven’t seen you eat anything in over a month, right? That’s why Lisa said she’s seen you throw up in the bathroom almost everyday for the last two weeks?”
This is just... so fucking rude on so many levels. Again, emphasizing the fact that he's listening to Lisa and not her. But now I'm kind of thinking there may be a chance you're misleading us, and we're just not seeing everything Stella is doing, because she's not seeing it? So who knows, this may be true. But, if Lisa's making this up like it currently seems, so fucking rude. Not only to just Stella, but just like to anyone actually suffering from it. Like, if it's none of your business, stay out of it. She's not close to Stella, so why get involved? It's just so rude and she's not helping the stigma and... ugh, I'll just end my rant there. Just so many issues with this part, though. Man.
And Alex is just being confusing. I just need him to clarify. :'( This story is making me so bummed out, lol. Again, another reason why it probably wasn't so wise to read this first thing in the morning. Sigh, oh well.
I really am interested in seeing the next chapter, especially if more will finally be revealed. I need to know what's going on with her or I need Alex to explain. Or for her to tell him she hasn't been throwing up in the bathroom (if it's not one of those misleading moments happening in the plot line, where we're just not getting the full story from the narrator). But this really bothered me in the chapter; she didn't really correct him on what Lisa said. So maybe that's a hint to something not being told? Idk. Anyway, I would be happy to find out about her health or Alex just explaining. Both would be amazing, but, y'know... not gonna push my luck since you're drawing it all out. XD
I hope you're okay girl. <3 If this is similar to what you're actually going through. :O I really hope you're okay. :(
Hmm, so to sum up: I'm annoyed, and I'm having a great start to my day. XD But I am captivated and interested in seeing what you have planned. <3 I'm going to be like Stella and hold on to Alex's words to her. I just hope he's being honest. He just needs to explain because I can't. XD

Nanook Nanook
10/9/18

@BreaClift. hi!!! thank you so so much! I'm thrilled you enjoy the story and I'm glad you've invested time into my crappy fanfic lol Stella's issues are all about to be resolved and answers are definitely coming in the next chapter. as far as Zack and Stella go, they're just really close. he's basically become like a second older brother to her.

katybear18 katybear18
10/8/18

I have truly enjoyed this story. I can’t wait to find out what happens next. I absolutely hope that there is going to be a sequel to this story. I want to know what is wrong with Stella & if her & Alex are going to stay together. Correct me if I’m wrong. I was kinda wondering if maybe Zack likes Stella as more than just a friend?

BreaClift. BreaClift.
9/24/18

LISA YOU'RE THE BIGGEST BITCH IN EXISTENCE(only in the story though I love you irl)

ALEX YOU'RE THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN EXISTENCE

AMANDA YOU'RE THE BESTEST FRIEND

Daydreamers Daydreamers
8/27/18

Oh no. :O Ugh, now I'm being killed with the curiosity on what's going on.
Okay, so, the new update... wow. I don't feel bad for Alex, at like, all.
In Amanda's voice/similar approach: I think... I think he has some s'plaining to do. XD
But really, c'mon. Are you kidding me? I mean, in his slight defense, I guess we can give him slight, in the fact that Stella hasn't really given him much chance to talk/explain. But each time she talks to him, he says nothing! He just says it's not what it looks like! We need more than that dude! Like I just can't even with the fact that he could say something and he doesn't other than the same damn thing.
I really hope Lisa's lying. Why would he have told her something so personal? Maybe she kind of made it up on the spot, given the situation? Hm. But I would be pissed too, like are you kidding? And it's something that him and Stella haven't even really talked through, so like if he's talking about it, he's insinuating it... when it doesn't even seem to be the case with her, from her point of view. Unless she's maybe in denial. I know that sometimes can be the case. :/ But idk.
I'm glad that Amanda was there for her to vent to. I'm confused though, with that... she texted Amanda to meet up, right? I thought her phone was taken away? And then later in the chapter you do mention that:
“I love you more. I’ll text Parker later to check up on you, okay? I’ll see you later.”
Unless she just has her phone during school? I guess that would make sense, in case of emergency or if for some reason her dad needed to get ahold of her. Maybe I'm forgetting that being mentioned. Just a brief confusion there. It probably was explained and I'm just not remembering, that's definitely me. XD
Anyway, yeah, I'm interested in seeing what's going on too. Like I said, I honestly do not feel bad for Alex: he dug himself into this hole. I mean, if it was just one aspect, it may be a bit different, but it's multiple things: the fact that he seems to be pulling away from Stella, he's hanging out with Lisa, he's seemingly telling her personal stuff without letting Stella know first, him and Lisa still seem close.
You know what? Stella just needs to find another dude to make him jealous again! There we go! Ayyy-o solution! XD
LMAO, your note made me laugh. "But it just fits and it's so hard." XD Girl, you're definitely not the only one pulling this arc, so I can see what you mean from reading other stories lol.
Oh, and another thing I just thought of: if Alex truly cares about Stella/her well-being, why is he pulling away? Shouldn't he be trying to help her more? He's brought it up but he just hasn't put in the effort to discuss or show that he really cares. -____- Idk, this will probably be explained though, and I know it's not fair to put that all on him, but still, if he loves her...
Wow, I feel like this comment is one long rant. XD Apologies, but know this is a good thing. It means I'm heavily invested in the story again. :) You're a really great writer. My rants are generally a good thing, promise.
Can't wait to see what happens next!

Nanook Nanook
8/25/18

@Nanook I can't reply to everything without giving away some things, but all I can say is that there's something definitely wrong with Stella and that things are about to get super intense. I'm so, so glad you came back and joined me in this journey. It means the absolute world to me. Next chapter is about to go up in the next few minutes!

katybear18 katybear18
8/23/18