Thrive

The following Saturday, I had the day off and was planning on spending it with Miranda who was actually in the mood to go out for a girls day, just us two pregnant women.

“I made a decision.” she said, getting into my car.

“About what?”

“Going on maternity leave extra early. I’m gonna do it. I just feel much better about being at home in case something would happen and things are harder now.”

“You tell Jack?”

“Yesterday and he’s more than supportive of my choice.”

“He worries about you and loves you.”

She faintly smiled as I drove away.

“I don’t like being at home by myself though. What if something happens and he’s not here?” she said making a face.

“I’m sure me, Brielle or Kendra will be there if something does. Then, we’d get a hold of him and get his lanky ass up here.”

She laughed during the last sentence.

“Alex is pretty lanky too, but he’s a beast also if you know what I mean.”

“I get what you mean, so is Jack.”

Speaking of sex, I miss that beast of a man, especially now as my sex drive is on overdrive and he's not here to satisfy my needs. Seriously, when I have to settle for my vibrator, which is a lot when he's gone, it sucks more than anyone will ever know.

"Do you miss sex?"

"Almost as much as I miss him. You?"

"The same."

"Anyway, can I pick what we're gonna listen to?"

"Of course.”

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore
That she would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promise
I’d never sing of love
If it does not exist, but darlin

You are the only exception(4x)

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we’ve got to find other ways
To make it alone
But keep a straight face

And I’ve always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I’m content
With loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

But, you are the only exception
You, are, the only exception(3x)

I’ve got a tight grip on reality
But I can’t let go of what’s in front of me here
I know you’re leaving in the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it’s not a dream

You are, the only exception(8x)

And I’m on my way to believing
Oh, and I’m on my way to believing

I started getting choked up and tears began to run down my face as soon as the song started.

“Abby? What’s wrong?”

I wouldn’t answer her.

“Pull over.”

I was able to in a matter of seconds, and immediately, I unbuckled my seatbelt while she did the same and she hugged me.

“Why are you crying?”

“That night after I was raped, Alex asked if I cared what he put on in the car; I didn’t care. This is what came on. Don’t know why I’m crying, Miranda.”

“Abby, what you went through was traumatic and you’re pregnant. I don’t blame you for being upset like this.”

I nodded.

“Thanks for the hug. Didn’t realize I needed it.”

“No need to thank me. I’m a hugging machine and I love you.”

I laughed for a second.

“I love you, too.”

We headed to lunch before anything else. While I was in the restroom of the restaurant we were at, my phone vibrated.

Wanna talk for a minute? I know you’re out with Miranda, but...

He’s beyond adorable. I called him up, not even bothering to text him.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” I said with a smile.

“How’s your day been going so far?”

“Well...”

“What happened? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

Chill, Alex. Chill.

“Everything’s fine. I just had a breakdown after I picked her up this morning. That’s all.”

I brushed it off like it was nothing since I don’t need him to worry, especially when he’s not even in the same country.

“A breakdown’s a big deal. You and I both know that. What brought it on?”

“Alex...”

“Abby...”

He wasn’t gonna let it go.

“Fine. It happened after I told Miranda she could listen to whatever she wanted. The Only Exception came on and it brought me to tears because that was the first song played in your car on that night.”

I was in tears again.

“Oh my God.”

More tears fell.

“I’m sorry.”

“Out of all the things to apologize for... why this?”

“You’re the whole way in another country and I’m here being a fucking blubbering mess and there’s nothing either one of us can do about it.”

-click-

I just couldn’t talk to him another second longer, so I finished what I was doing and pulled myself together, checking myself in the mirror before heading out of the restroom.

“Hey honey.” she said as I sat down.

“Hey.”

“Is everything okay?”

“I hung up on Alex.”

“You did what? When?”

“Less than five minutes ago. I was talking about what happened in my car...”

“Oh Abby...”

“Now, I feel terrible. They’re going out to perform in a few hours and I don’t know how he’s gonna concentrate. We’re both emotional people after all.”

“Don’t feel terrible. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Sure feels like it.”

I felt my phone vibrate.

Talk to me. Please.

Alex.

“Read.” I said, passing the phone to Miranda.

She placed a hand over mine.

“Call him.”

“I’ll be back.” I said, excusing myself and heading outside to call him.

I took a deep breath and called him back.

“Thank goodness. You had me worried.”

Of course I did.

“What a surprise.”

He sighed.

“You know what? I’ve never felt this much like a bitch in my entire life. I fucking hate it. I also hate still having to be on my happy pills because if I don’t, I risk hurting the baby.”

“Fuck. I need to be there.”

Yes, you do.

“I know. Just about three weeks and then, there’s my next appointment.”

“Where we’ll be able to find out whether we’re having a boy or a girl.”

I smiled.

“Yes. Still gunning for a girl.”

“Still gunning for a boy.”

He laughed.

“I love you.” I said.

“I love you, too. Are you gonna be good after I hang up?”

“Yeah. I will. Remember, before I had you as my rock, I had Miranda as mine.”

“Ok. Talk to ya tomorrow.”

“You too. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I walked back into the restaurant in a better mood.

“How are things?” she asked once I got to the booth.

“Great and I feel so much better.”

“That’s such a relief.”

“You can say that again.”

The rest of the day went without a hitch and I came home exhausted early in the evening and just wanted to eat and lie down.

Notes