Sanctuary

Two days later and it was now my time for my testimony. I’d have to do it with Alex by my side; he’d only be in the crowd and watch me be uncomfortable. I was out front of the courthouse with him waiting for my supportive friends to meet us before I went in. We were sitting on the steps as I kept curled up into him. When they arrived, I got up and embraced them; I was ever thankful for them being here for me.

“Hey guys.”

“I’d ask how you are doing, but I already know the answer.” Miranda asked, making a face.

“I’d like to thank you all for being here. It means so much. This is absolutely terrifying.”

“Well, there’s no way we couldn’t be here. Now, that’d be wrong.”

I smiled and nodded.

“Shall we walk inside, ladies?” Alex asked.

I took his hand and off we went. My friends sat directly behind us before we sat down in the courtroom. I was sick to my stomach just like I was a couple days ago and couldn’t even face him, but I knew would have to when I walked up to the stand.

“I love you.” he said.

“I love you, too.” I said in a quiet voice.

“Is there anything you’d like to do after this?”

“If I’m not sick to my stomach, could we go out and get some fast food? Maybe a milkshake?”

“Great idea, babe.”

I faintly smiled.

“Let me know when he walks in, okay? I just wanna know, so I can avoid looking in that general direction.”

“Of course.”

A couple minutes later, he whispered into my ear that he was here. We stood up and sat back down just like the other day, but it was time for my testimony today.

“Will Abigail Shaw please come to the stand?”

I squeezed his hand and smiled at him; he smiled back. When I sat down, I took a deep breath and let it out.

“Raise your right hand. Do you promise to tell the truth and only the truth, so help you God?”

“I do.” I said in the bravest voice I could muster.

The prosecutor spoke first.

“Now, Ms. Shaw, I know this is difficult for you, but could you relay what happened on the night of May 7th.”

Oh, you have no idea.

“That night began out with a celebration of my best friend’s birthday and my new job. We started out at a restaurant for dinner before we started barhopping. At the third and final bar my friends and I were at, we were having the most we had all night until this man followed me to the restroom. He didn’t follow me in and was gone when I walked back out. I managed to avoid him for ten minutes, but I then saw him again and excused myself and headed outside in an attempt to get rid of him. It didn’t work.

Tears came streaming down my face. I paused for a few seconds.
Tissues were handed to me and I wiped my eyes.

“Just as I walked outside, I felt him grab my butt. I walked more as I called my boyfriend, but he got to me and dragged me to an alley and pushed me up against the wall. He slid his hand up my dress while he kissed my neck. Then, he pulled my... pulled my panties down and thrust two fingers into my vagina multiple times...

I need Alex. I need him now. He looked at me the same way that he did the night that I raped.

“I managed to get away from him. I pushed him with one of my shoes and knocked him down, but then he tried to drag me back when I tried to get off the ground which resulted in my falling back down and skinning my knees. Someone saw what was going on and made sure that the man who hurt me wouldn’t get away as I called the police.”

I said it. I fucking said it.

“Thank you, Ms. Shaw.” the prosecutor said.

I nodded and took another deep breath. Then, his defense lawyer came up and spoke to me.

“That’s quite a story, Ms. Shaw.”

Yeah and it’s nonfiction.

“You do know that there are false rape allegations almost every day, right?”

“Yes. So?”

“This sounds like one of those allegations. A lot of women like it rough. Are you one of these people?”

Are you fucking kidding, you fucker?

The prosecutor objected, but I had to answer it. This is my fucking sex life and it’s nobody’s business but my own.

“I am. Why does that matter?”

“Because that sounds like rough sex to me.”

I was beyond angry; I was furious.

“It doesn’t mean that it was right or consensual.” I said.

He shook his head.

“Whatever you say, Ms. Shaw.”

I could only imagine what he told him.

“That’s all I have to say, your Honor.”

“Ms. Shaw? You can step down.”

I nodded again and walked back to where Alex was and sat down.

“You did good.” he whispered before kissing my cheek.

I was starting to feel better.

“Will Mr. Mars take the stand?”

With a smile on his face, he proudly walked up to the stand down.

“Hello, Mr. Mars.” the prosecutor said.

“Hello.”

“What’s your account on the events on the night of May 7th?”

“Well, I’m glad you asked.”

That smug bastard.

“That night was a great one. One of the best nights I’ve had actually. I saw this beautiful woman in a bar that night and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. When she decided to head outside, I followed her; I just needed to talk her. She was just another girl who liked to play hard to get and I wish the night would’ve gone better when she changed her mind. I’d do it all again if I could.”

I’m gonna vomit. I really am.

I put my head between my legs and rocked while Alex rubbed my back.

“Thank you for your testimony, sir.”

“You are very welcome.”

She was clearly disgusted. This woman was on my side which was such a relief because prosecutors aren’t necessarily gonna be on your side. His attorney didn’t have any questions for him and I was thankful. I was beyond ready to get out of here.

“That’s all for today. Court will reconvene on Monday. Court dismissed.”

I immediately rushed to the restroom while Alex and the girls followed.

“Let me go in.” I heard from outside the door.

“Abby?” Miranda asked.

“In here.” I said in a groggily voice, showing my shoes.

“May I come in?”

“You sure you wanna come in? I just puked.”

“Yes. You’re my best friend and I love you.”

“Ok.”

I unlocked and opened the door to the small stall.

“Hi honey.”

“Miranda.”

She hugged me.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“Thanks sis.”

“Don’t mention it, sis.”

I leaned up against her. We sat in silence for a few minutes till we stepped out.

“I’m gonna brush my teeth. I’ll be out in a couple.”

She nodded.

“I’ll let them know you’re alright.”

I nodded and went to the sink to brush my teeth. When I was done, Alex was right outside worried, although I don’t know why. He wrapped his arms around me instantly and I did the same to him and didn’t let go.

“Can we go? Please.” I said as I sobbed into his chest.

“Absolutely.”

“Guys, I’ll talk to you later. I need to go before I lose my mind.”

“Of course. Feel better hun.” Brielle said.

I took Alex’s hand and we walked out of the courthouse.

“Anything I can do, Abby?”

“Is fast food and a milkshake still on the table?”

He smiled.

“It always is.”

I smiled and melted into him.

“I love you.” I said.

“I love you, too.”

We sat in his car and ate. My tears had dried up, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t any less of a mess.

“Can you believe the words that came out of his mouth? I had never been so disgusted in my life.” I said.

“I wanted to knock his fucking lights out if you ask me. How can someone even be that smug?

“That’s a really good question.”

“You know, his lawyer can go to hell too. He asked about my sex life and insisted my rape was actually just rough sex. I can’t even think about rough sex now, something I fucking love!”

I was screaming. Alex placed his hands on my shoulders to help calm me down.

“Breathe, Abby. Just breathe.”

If it was anyone else saying this, I would tell that person to shut up.

“In and out, in and out.”

I listened to him and within seconds, I was breathing easily again.

“Thank you. I gotta chill. It’s just so fucking hard. I also gotta cut down on the swearing.”

He laughed at the last part. He kissed and hugged me again.

“It will happen. I just know it will."

"Alex, I need to go to a doctor. I'm pretty sure that I have PTSD."

"I feel like that's the right thing to do."

"I'm not looking forward to going back on meds if I need to. I dealt with being on them when I was depressed, but I'll deal with if it I have to."

"And I'll always be there."

Notes