Today's the day I'd be leaving my hometown for the second time and it's also the day that I'm going to take one last walkthrough of my childhood home. I woke up rested but was immensely emotional even though if it doesn't show on my face. I sat on the bathroom floor with my head in my hands; I wasn't ready for anything which included the dreaded conversation that I had to have with my mom. The fact that I wasn't having a panic attack right now was some kind of a miracle. The door opening five minutes later surprised me and showed Alex; he was dead asleep when I crawled out of bed.

"Abby." he said, kneeling in front of me.

I didn't say a damn thing.

"What's wrong?"

He lifted my head since I wouldn't look up at him and also took my hands in his. That's when the tears began to run down my face.

"Please talk to me."

"I can't."

"You can't what, baby?"

"Today."

This is when he sat down and pulled me into his lap; the feeling of his arms around me was incredibly comforting.

"I know it's gonna be difficult, but you're gonna get through with flying colors."

I let out a laugh; I loved his choice of words.

"Can you just hold me? For a little while?"

"Of course." he said kissing my neck.

He held me for what felt like an eternity until I heard footsteps, but in reality was actually twenty minutes. I turned around and kissed him when we stood up.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you, too."

He kissed me and smiled.

“I’ll meet you in the living room.” I said before I walked out of the bathroom.

My mom and Tyler weren’t there yet, so I sat on the couch and continued to relax; Alex came out and sat beside me.

“Hey.” he said.

“Hey.”

I heard someone walk into the living room a few minutes later; my heart began to pound.

“Good morning, you two.” my mom greeted.

“Good morning.” Alex and I said simultaneously.

“Is everything okay, Abby?”

Of course she’d pick up on it.

“Yeah. I guess. There’s something I need to talk to you about, but it can wait.”

“You sure?”

She looked concerned.

“Yeah.”

“Whatever you say, honey.”

There was a hint of an attitude in her voice. Just tell her, Abby.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me my father came for me?”

“How the hell do you know that?”

“I had a dream that he came for me when I was four on Christmas.”

“Who remembers something like that?”

“I don’t fucking know. Well, is it true?”

Alex tried to hold my hand, but I shook it loose and got off the couch in anger.

“First of all, don’t you dare curse at me and yes, it’s true. He knocked on the door and I unfortunately answered it. He tried to make his case about wanting to be in your life and hurt me when he attempted to talk to you. He pushed and hit me, Abigail.”

“You never thought to tell me this? I have the right to know. Maybe I would’ve liked to spoken to the man myself. Did you ever think of that? I am 28, after all.”

“He’s a bastard. A bastard who is in prison for rape. Would you like to see your rapist? Because I don’t think you would.” she laughed at the last part.

Tears came to my eyes and I dashed to the bedroom.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I overheard Alex say to my mom.

I changed into my regular clothes and started packing my suitcase at a feverish pace. I heard him come up from behind me and place his hands on my shoulders. I touched them and started to sob.

“M-my m-meds n-need to k-kick in alr-ready.”

“You need to sit and relax.”

I nodded and sat down; he sat down beside me and I laid my head on his shoulder.

“She was out of line. Why couldn’t she have said that like a civilized fucking person? And how do you say something like that about my rapist while laughing? Like what happened to me was nothing? That’s fucking disgusting.”

“I didn’t think your mom could ever talk to you like that. You deserve so much better than that.”

“Yeah.”

“Let me finish packing.”

“Alex...”

“I got this. Just relax.” he said, kissing my temple.

I nodded and held my head in my hands again.

Five minutes later, our suitcases were packed and he called a taxi.

“Let’s go.”

I grabbed my purse and walked beside him as we made our way out of the bedroom. My mom and Tyler were in the living room when we came out. She rushed over to me and grabbed my arm tightly which brought back a terrible memory, back to that night.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t t-touch me. G-get off of me. G-go away."

I started to do the motions I did when I was raped and that following day when I had a nightmare.

“Abigail. What’s going on?”

“What’s it look like? She’s reliving painful memories.” Alex scathed.

I wrapped an arm around his as we walked out of the house, slamming the door. We waited on the porch as I began to cry incessantly into his shoulder.

“I can’t believe this is even happening. I thought things were good between us. I thought my nightmares were gone.” I said after a few minutes.

“Neither can I. It’ll get better though. I promise you.”

Five minutes later, our taxi was there and we were ready to head to the airport. Sure, we’d be there a bit early, but I didn’t give a fuck; I wanted out of here. I sighed as we went past my home which I couldn’t believe I wasn’t gonna be able to visit. We sat at a table in the airport eating breakfast, but I was more picking at my food than anything else.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked.

I shook my head and took a bite of my food.

“I miss the dogs.” I said randomly.

“So do I.”

I loved Baz and Peyton; they were the sweetest dogs in the world.

“When can we get them?”

“Tonight.”

I was hardly there.

“Cool.”

Another bite. I only had a few more bites before I pushed it toward Alex. He dropped his fork and placed his hand on mine; I pulled my hand back. He frowned and went back to his food which was great because now, I felt like an asshole.

“Why do you love me?” I asked.

“Why are you asking me this, Abby?”

I shrugged.

“I’m worried about you and to answer your question, it’s because you’re the most amazing person I've ever met. It’s because when you fall, you get right back up again which means you are also the strongest person I know. You have a wonderful spirit about you and always make me smile when I need it the most and you’re hands down the most beautiful woman on this earth. The fact that you chose me is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. I love you, Abigail Shaw. I love you more than anything in the world.”

I smiled with tears in my eyes and kissed him hard.

“I needed that. I’m such a fucking mess... again.”

“A beautiful mess.”

“Shut up.” I said laughing.

He laughed as well.

I got my appetite back and finished my food.

“Glad your appetite’s back.”

“Me too. This is delicious.” I said with my mouth full.

He shook his head as he finished his own meal.

“How long till our flight?” I asked.

“An hour.”

“Ugh.”

I tilted my head back much to Alex’s amusement.

“Time’ll pass faster than you think, babe.” he said, kissing my cheek.

“Ok. Hey, I have a question.”

We were walking toward the seating near our terminal.

“Yeah?”

“You think I’ll ever take that last walkthrough of my house?”

“I do. It might be a while though till you do."

I sat down and leaned against him. When we got in our seats, I sighed and buckled my seatbelt and looked straight out the window. Just one more step to getting back to my real home, the one that I was missing desperately at the moment.

"I seriously can't wait to go home. I miss California."

I smiled at him and he smiled back.

The time passed quickly and soon, we were back in Cali and I was over the moon. If I didn't have a suitcase, I would've danced the whole way through the airport and to when we stepped outside, but that was okay. The whole ride home, including when we picked up the dogs, was a long one, but I enjoyed it. After taking my shoes off, I dragged my suitcase into the bedroom and laid flat on my back. Peyton and Baz jumped on the bed and began licking my face; I truly missed this.

“Looks like they missed you.”

“Because I’m so lovable.”

“The loveliest. Let me on the bed, boys.”

He managed to climb on the bed and kiss me.

“Family photo?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He laughed and nodded.

“Family photo.”

It had to have been one of the cutest photos I’ve ever been part of and was the best part of my hellish day.

Notes