Sanctuary

It’s a new year and a month closer till Alex and I’s wedding. We’re so close to sending out invitations and my stomach’s in knots. It wouldn’t be like this if things with my mom didn’t go off the rails like they did two weeks ago. Last week, I decided that I actually want to mend things with her because I honestly think she’s sorry for how that all went down, but Alex on the other hand, isn’t so easy to forgive her. We’ve had arguments and fights before, but this one is not like any other and it’s starting to cause a rift between the two of us. Today is also Sunday and I urgently need to spend a day with my friends.

Out front, hun!

That was Miranda since I’m riding with her today. Knowing that Alex wasn’t here was actually a relief because I didn’t need to see his face before I left; he’d know that I was going to talk to the girls about my mom. I walked out the door and locked it after saying goodbye to Baz and Peyton.

“Hey Abby.” she greeted with a smile.

“Hey.”

“How are things with Alex?”

I shook my head.

“That bad?”

“Yeah. Can we uh... talk about something else please?”

“Of course.”

“How are things with Jack?”

“Wonderful. He’s the dream boyfriend.”

“That’s great. You deserve someone like that. What’s he up to do today?”

“Out with the boys.”

“Cool.”

“Mind if I put on some tunes?”

“Nope.”

She put music on shuffle. Time Bomb started to play.

From the get-go, I knew this was hard to hold
Like a crash, the whole thing spun out of control
Oh, on a wire, we were dancing
Two kids, no consequences
Pull the trigger without thinking
There's only one way down this road

It was like a time bomb set into motion
We knew that we were destined to explode
And if I had to pull you out of the wreckage
You know I'm never gonna let you go
We're like a time bomb
Gonna lose it
Let's defuse it
Baby, we're like a time bomb
But I need it
Wouldn't have it any other way

Well, there's no way out of this, so let's stay in
Every storm that comes also comes to an end
Oh, resistance is useless
Just two kids stupid and fearless
Like a bullet shooting the lovesick
There's only one way down this road

It was like a time bomb set into motion
We knew that we were destined to explode
And if I had to pull you out of the wreckage
You know I'm never gonna let you go
We're like a time bomb
Gonna lose it
Let's defuse it
Baby, we're like a time bomb
But I need it
Wouldn't have it any other way

Got my heart in your hands
Like a time bomb ticking
It goes off; we start again
When it breaks, we fix it
Got your heart in my hands
Like a time bomb ticking
We should know better
But we won't let go

It was like a time bomb set into motion
We knew that we were destined to explode
And if I had to pull you out of the wreckage
You know I'm never gonna let you let me go
We're like a time bomb
Gonna lose it
Let's defuse it
Baby, we're like a time bomb
But I need it
Wouldn't have it any other way

My favorite All Time Low song. Of course.

“I can change it.”

She knew it was my favorite.

“No. It’s fine.”

We met up with the girls at the mall and I was determined to enjoy myself. We all greeted each other as we met in the parking lot.

“How are you?” Kendra asked.

“I’ll be honest. I’ve been better.”

“You and Alex still fighting?”

“Unfortunately. He’s not seeing things my way. He says it's like I have blinders on in this situation because she’s my mom.”

“He’s amazing and all, but that’s a load of bullshit. You know her better than anyone.” Brielle chimed in.

“Exactly. I know how he feels about her. He did yell at her twice; he was that angry and he has every right to be. I understand where he’s coming from because I’d be furious, but I just... I don’t get it.”

I had tears in my eyes at this point. Miranda pulled me close and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“Are you afraid...”

“That this is gonna be the end of my relationship?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes.”

“Let’s get your mind off this. Shall we?” Brielle asked.

I nodded.

“Ok.”

We started clothes shopping at my favorite store which cleared my mind for the time being before heading to a music shop where I saw some familiar faces which included one I didn’t want to see.

Alex. Why the fuck was he here?

“Let’s go.” I said, turning the opposite direction and leaving.

“Why?” Miranda asked.

“Do you recognize anyone in there? I’m going.”

“Abby. You’re gonna see him at home anyway. Two, he shouldn’t stop you from going to the places you love.”

I turned around and walked inside. He saw me in less than ten seconds, but he wasn’t too happy to see me and the feeling was mutual. I heard someone’s phone go off and I saw Miranda reach into her purse. She sighed and walked over to me where I was looking at the records.

“Read this.”

It was from Jack.

Please tell Abby to talk to Alex. I’m so sick of this shit, along with the guys.

It’s affecting everyone I know. I got my phone out and texted him back.

No.

“Abby.” she said reading my text.

“I don’t fucking care. Alex is in the wrong.” I whispered.

His best friend was annoyed and I instantly felt bad, but my anger overrode that. We were in there for ten more minutes without any contact with the guys.

“Can we go eat?” I said.

My friends were clearly concerned, but I ignored that and walked to the food court; they followed. I sat down with my food and dug in and I began to chill out about what just happened.

“I’m so sorry about that text.”

“I get it, but that was still ridiculous.” Kendra said.

It seemed like everyone was in agreement.

“I think it’s time to talk to him, honey.” Brielle said.

It had been a week since I decided I wanted to reconcile... again with my mom and nothing’s changed since then.

“Guess you’re right.”

“We are.” Miranda said with a knowing look.

I grumbled and took my phone out to text him.

We need to talk.

I texted the four worst words you could possibly text or say in a relationship. I went back to eating while I waited for him to respond. He did a minute later and my heart dropped reading it.

You can say that again. Let’s talk tonight.

“What’d he say?”

I just showed them and I frowned.

“It’s gonna be fine.”

I put my phone away and on silent.

“You sure about putting that on silent? Isn’t that like adding fuel to a fire?” Brielle asked.

I shrugged. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, but it’s not like he’s going to text or call me anytime soon. Why would he?

“Guess we’re gonna see if that does anything.”

I was feeling like a different person and I hated it. I wanted to mend things with Alex because quite frankly, I miss him to death. I miss that smile, that stupid sense of humor and how much he cares about and loves me or at least he did.

“Abby?” Miranda asked a minute later.

“You okay?”

I’m so sick of people asking me if I was okay. It’s like when the trial was happening.

“Absolutely. I’m just trying to think of what I’m gonna say to Alex tonight.”

“Well, you have plenty of time to figure that out.”

I spent so much of that day trying to figure out what I was going to say to him, even at dinner. I came home that night to an empty living room, so I walked toward the kitchen since I know his daily routine. He was standing in front of the stove cooking something delicious and as curious as I was to know what it was, I didn’t dare ask what. Instead, I stepped into the kitchen with my heart beating a million miles a minute.

“Alex?” I said quietly.

It was almost like like I was scared to speak to him which was terrifying. He shut off the stove and turned to me.

“Abby.”

“Can we talk?”

“Give me a minute. I’ll meet you in the living room.”

I nodded and walked out. I sat down on the couch wanting to relax, but I knew there’s no way I could. When he sat down beside me, I didn’t know whether or not to talk to him first.

“Why are we talking now?” he asked.

“My friends convinced me that it was time to do so.”

“You have smart friends.”

“Thanks. So do you.”

I hated short sentences in this conversation.

“Why do you feel the need to forgive your mom? She really hurt you.”

“Because she’s my mom. That’s why. She said one stupid thing.”

“One majorly stupid thing, Abby. It was incredibly insensitive and shouldn’t have even been said. You’re her daughter, for fuck sakes.”

“I know that. You heard my speech after she said that. She’s worth forgiving and I still love her.”

I was beginning to become emotional and stood up.

“You’re fucking ridiculous. How can you say that?”

“She tried to apologize. Don’t you remember?”

“Of course I do and she triggered your rape and that nightmare you had all at once when she grabbed your arm. Did you forget that?”

He stood up at this point and looked directly at me.

“How could I possibly do that? I think about it every goddamn day and it hurts so much. If I could just talk to her, maybe it would hurt less. Not to mention, she has sacrificed so much for me and I can’t possibly lose her just like I can’t possibly lose you.”

During the last sentence, I had taken hold of his hands and tears threatened to escape. I truly hoped he wouldn’t let go because if he did that would break my heart and I wouldn’t know if I’d be able to recover.

“Alex?” I asked a few seconds later.

Instead of letting go, he intertwined our fingers and I proceeded to smile.

“This doesn’t mean I’m ever gonna forgive her for what she did to you because I truly don’t know if I can.”

“As long as you try. Can you promise me that?”

“I can promise you that.”

I stood on my toes and kissed him. I hadn’t kissed him in a week and while it hasn’t been the longest I’ve gone without kissing him, it was still terrible. The electricity that shot through us was undeniable and I didn’t want to let go. He moved his hands to my hips while I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. His hands quickly landed on the small of my back deepening the kiss and I wanted more. Sensing this, I felt him lift my ass and I hooked my legs around his waist.

“I love you.” I said, pulling apart.

“I love you, too.”

“Can we-"

In true Alex fashion, he didn't answer me. Instead, he pressed his lips to mine and took us down the hall and into our bedroom. Neither one of us said a damn thing as we undressed and he gently placed me onto the bed before climbing onto the bed. He looked hungry as his lips landed on mine; I took hold of his bottom lip and let go and looked up with a smirk to see his reaction. He responded by moving his lips to my neck before taking a bite, causing me to cry out in pleasure. Another hand lightly traveled down my body and landed on my crotch with a thumb landing on my clit.

“Alex.” I said leaning my head back.

Seeing my reaction, he began rubbing me in circles.

“Fuck me.”

He just continued without a response. I took a light hold of his hair, hoping he’d get the picture.

Nothing.

A hand slipped downward and a couple fingers traveled inside me and began pumping in and out.

“Please.” I pleaded.

I grabbed his hair tighter.

“I’m begging you.”

He came back up to me and placed himself at my entrance then thrusted himself inside me.

“Thank you.” I said after a single thrust.

“You’re welcome.”

I laid deep scratches down his back causing him to hiss. Several and I mean, several thrusts later, we came and I was breathless.

“I missed you. I missed this.” I said.

It’s crazy to say I missed him although I’ve been lying next to him every night, but it’s the truth.

“I missed you more than anything and making love to you like this.”

I teared up as I smiled up at him. He happily wiped my tears as I kissed him.

“Let’s never fight like that again. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He touched my face.

“I agree. Life would truly suck without you.”

I buried my face into his chest and was incredibly content.

Notes