Just Another Reason I Could Never Forget You

“Jasey!” She shrieked as I answered the call. I rolled my eyes; thankful I hadn’t gotten as drunk last night as I would have done a year or two ago and could handle the pitch of her voice.
“Marissa,” I replied monotonously, checking the clock on my nightstand as I rolled over and began to start thinking about getting ready for the day. It was 10am, probably the latest I’d slept in for a couple of weeks, despite having nothing to do.
“So, what happened?”
“What happened when?”
“Last night!” I frowned, padding toward the stairs to make myself my morning coffee. I felt clear headed, but her questioning was confusing.
“I’d say, you got a little past tipsy, made some really questionable relationship choices with your sasquatch and then we all went home. I’m not sure how you don’t remember that.”
“do remember that,” she groaned. “I meant when you got home!”
“I went to sleep,” I told her, beginning to wonder where my parents were as I made way too much noise finding my favourite mug. Usually, my mom was in here telling me about everything that had happened in the previous 12 hours on her shows, in her life, anything she could think of. It was weirdly silent, and my best friend was being weird as shit too.
“Stop,” she groaned again, clicking her tongue at me. “I meant with Alex! He took you home!” I blinked slowly, completely forgetting she couldn’t see me. That was absolutely the stupidest question I’d ever heard. I was on boy detox, and I was past my needy phase.
“Oh, you want the details?”
“Duh!”
“Oh my god, you should totally sit down. It’s so—”
“Alright, I get it, nothing happened,” she snapped in response, though not annoyed. “I thought, you know, something might happen.”
“Nah,” I shrugged. “We talked about high school shit and life and then we went to sleep in our own homes.”
“Urgh, boring.”
“Marissa,” I laughed back at her, “I’m mature now. I’m not just going to get drunk and jump into bed with Alex. I’m going to live a life that – wait for it – doesn’t revolve around boys.”
“Boring!” She repeated, louder. I continued to laugh, taking a drink of my now steaming mug of coffee. “You guys are meant to be, leave me alone.”
“Or, maybe, I can, I don’t know, have a fulfilling life with or without a man in it.”
“Yes, but you’re in love with Alex.”
“Yes, I love Alex. I also love you and Jack and having my bed to myself. I don’t need that in my life right now, it’s okay.” I wasn’t lying. I obviously still had residual feelings for Alex (at bare minimum), and I would continue to admit that unless it got in his way or made him uncomfortable, but I didn’t need him. Deep in my bones, I knew life would be better with him, but I also knew I could be happy either way. It wasn’t the same as when I’d decided on John; I’d run to John as an escape from my life and emotions and I’d fucked it up. Alex felt like… the endgame. The end of a very long game. I didn’t need to rush that.
“I have a fricking plan though!”
“You have a plan?” Why did this not sound good?
“Yes! It has steps and stages and you’re not adhering to the plan!”
“How can I comply with a plan I literally didn’t know existed until 10 seconds ago?”
“By being willing!”
“Okay, hold that thought while I run across to Alex’s house and mount him in his parents dining room,” I let out sarcastically, though feeling much less wary about Marissa’s plans now.
“Gross.”
“Exactly.” I rolled my eyes, choosing to not take this woman seriously. “What are you up to today? I think my parents have left me to wallow in my sad girl hangover, and I don’t have one to wallow in.”
“College stuff,” she replied. I could almost hear the shrug and the serious lack of enthusiasm. “Want me to come over when I’m done?”
“No, I’m sure they’ll be back before you’re done. They never go further than the city and dad gets bored.” I think their lack of adventure was what sent me so insane and forced me to just want to go places so desperately.
“Alright, call me if you need me.”
We said our goodbyes as I began to wander aimlessly around the house. My parents hadn’t left any sort of note or let me know where they were going, and so I lounged. I brought my laptop downstairs and curled up with the TV playing mindless sitcoms. I spent the rest of the morning obsessing over my college essay, the same as I had for the last week

Notes