Just Another Reason I Could Never Forget You

“Hol!” John shouted, grinning at me as I walked past their dressing room on my way to the booth. I’d come out to grab my shit after I’d finished finalising the set up (Vinny did things a little differently than I did, so of course I’d gotten fussy and changed it all when Alex and I had returned). To say I’d been avoiding John may have been accurate, but only because I was afraid of seeing his mother. I froze a little, knowing that what I was avoiding was going to be in the room I’d been called into. It was nearly 6:30, I’d been so close.
“Doors are about to open,” I told him. “I can’t—”
“Shut up and come here!” He continued to grin at me and I gave in, all but trudging into the room. I stood next to him, turning to face Jenny. “Mom’s been asking about you.” I held back the rolling of my eyes, knowing that on the slim chance that she was asking about me, it wasn’t for any good reason. Instead, I stuck a smile to my face.
“Hey, it’s good to see you again. Sorry I haven’t been about, it’s been a crazy day.”
“I heard it’s been a crazy couple of weeks,” she laughed lightly, smiling at me, but her eyes were as cold as they always had been. I squirmed, suddenly acutely aware of the fact that John had kept his hands to himself.
“Yeah, well, you can’t hide forever,” I chuckled, shrugging.
“Yes, I heard you’ve been roaming around with your past.” I watched as she fought the unimpressed sniff she wanted to let out and all I wanted was to curl into John and forget about her. It occurred to me that while John told his mother a lot, it seemed he hadn’t told her about us.
“It’s been good to catch up with old friends,” I replied simply. Alex’s words from the night before about how best to win over Jenny played in my head and I figured I should give it a go. What’s the worst that could happen? She clearly already hated me. “Plus, I got the chance to introduce my favourite person to my old best friends and my mom and dad, so it can’t be all bad.” I shot a grin up at John, which he returned, pulling me into his side and pushing a kiss to the top of my head. I relaxed almost instantly at his touch, grateful it still calmed me when I was confronted with his mother.
“So, um, when did this happen?” She asked, dragging me back out of my comfort zone. I looked over at her as she raised an eyebrow, looking between the pair of us. She didn’t look unimpressed, but she definitely wasn’t impressed. It seemed like John realised what he had done as he looked over at her, and he rubbed the back of his neck briefly with his spare hand.
“Uh, about a week after we left?” He replied, questioningly.
“Not even a week,” I told him, laughing lightly. “What was it, like the third show? When I brought that girl to the party.” I ignored the feeling in my gut as I remembered Sammy, desperate not to give Jenny any excuse to dislike me even more. “Yeah, that sounds about right.” I remained silent, waiting on Jenny to say something and it felt like John was doing the same. I could see her mulling it over, not sure how to respond, but it didn’t take too long for her to figure it out.
“Well, I suppose it’s about time,” she smiled at her son. “But you could have told me this a long time ago.” He shifted uncomfortably next to me. I couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like John knew his mother disapproved of me, or he would have told her in the first call after we got together. Or was it that he was still afraid I was going to up and leave for Alex?
“I mean, I know, but—”
“Hey, guys, doors in five,” Matt told us, looking pointedly at me as he said it and I grinned.
“Be there in two, I swear.” I heard a sarcastic ‘ahuh’ back before he disappeared and laughed to myself. I was going to miss Flyzik. “So, like I said five minutes ago, I gotta go, sweetheart. I’ll see you after.” He grinned at me, seemingly forgetting that he still had his mother to deal with. I gave him a quick kiss, detaching myself and saying the briefest of goodbyes to Jenny before basically running from the room. I did not want to be there while he explained himself.
The show was good, especially given it was a hometown show for the guys so I saw a load of people we knew, who all took the time to say hey and even then some stayed longer. I didn’t realise how many people I was actually friends with out here, but the reminder was nice. I was, however, deeply grateful that I hadn’t had to go through a hometown show in Baltimore. Even after the break, the closest we’d be getting was Philadelphia.
John sent me a handful of brief text messages, telling me about how he felt like he was back in school, getting reamed out by his mom for not telling her about a fieldtrip immediately or some shit. I had to laugh at his whining, but it was a relief that he had talked it through with her and she was fine. I was honestly terrified she would put her foot down and actually admit she disliked me and this would all go down the shitter.
Given I had made a deal with Vinny so I didn’t have to unpack merch this morning, I was now on the hook to load both his and my crap into the trailer and I was beginning to question my decision to lay in this morning, but then I remembered the smile on John’s face when we woke up this morning and I remembered how much it had been worth it. I got to see his face in peace and quiet a full 48 hours earlier than I would have otherwise.
“Hey, Jenny, what are you doing here?” I smiled as I noticed her coming toward me while I was finishing up packing my boxes. I was one of the last in the area, as pretty much everyone had done it with two people, desperate for a break, and I had declined any help.
“I just thought I’d come and have a chat with you while John gets himself sorted,” she replied. Her aloof persona returning now that John was no longer around. I shrugged it off, not concerning myself with it. As long as she kept her concerns to herself in front of John, I was going to put up with her crap. I would continue to attempt to get her to like me, slowly but surely, but I just needed her to keep her dislike to herself in front of John.
“Great,” I grinned. “I don’t feel like we’ve ever really had the chance to get to know each other properly, you know?”
“I think I know plenty,” she smiled. I frowned into my box, but fixed my face before looking back up at her.
“I wouldn’t believe anything John tells you, he’s shockingly bias,” I replied. “What about that other boy?” She asked. “The one from back home? Is he bias too?” I took a breath before replying, desperate not to snap at her and ruin the nice day I’d been having.
“You mean Jack?” I asked, deliberately oblivious. “No, he’s not bias. He’s one of my oldest friends, but damn the kid tells me off when he thinks I’m out of line. It’s the best thing about him. We bicker like children too.” I continued smiling as I packed up, though I was beginning to lose my cool. She riled me up worse than Alex sometimes, I swear to God. She seemed to be at a loss for words, probably trying to get a rise out of me and not understanding why I was keeping my cool so well, but the simple answer was that it was entirely her son’s fault. He brought out the calm side of me and I would especially do anything to keep him happy. I mean, fuck, I loved him.
Wait. I loved him? I frowned softly at the words running through my head. I thought about the way I felt around him and the only time I’d ever experienced the same amount of contentment was around Alex. He was the only other god damn person on this planet who had ever made me happy the way Alex did.
“So, which is the one you were in love with?” She asked abruptly. My frown deepened and I looked up at her. “Because everyone I’ve spoken to around this place seems to think you’re still an item.”
“We're just friends,” I replied slowly. “Everyone around here knows that.”
“I suppose I must have misunderstood what I saw earlier today,” she smiled thinly. I blinked a couple of times, processing her words and beyond confused, not sure what she was referring to. I had seen her once today, and that had been when John had pulled me into the dressing room to see her.
“With John or—”
“No, with that boy,” she interrupted. “What was his name? Alex?” I frowned even more. What about Alex? “He’s the one John told me about, right? The one from back home?”
“Well, yeah, but—”
“Does he know about John, or is it the other way around? Does my son even know you were out with Alex this afternoon?”
“I don’t have to tell him everything I do every single second of every single day. He knows I’m friends with Alex.”
“You looked a little more than friends this afternoon. Holding hands and fawning over each other,” she scoffed. I laughed loudly at her words, suddenly realising where she had seen me. In the fucking cafe, eating lunch with Alex and attempting to comfort him. Of course it looked bad when you had no context, but fuck me was it a weak play.
The thought of her using Alex to harass me right after the realisation I had just had infuriated me. He pulled me out of my timid shell I’d been living in these last two years and I would be damned if I took her shit lying down. Invoking John made me play the pacification card, invoking Alex made me stand my ground.
“I haven’t done anything to hurt John since we got together, least of all with Alex. Go ahead, tell him about how I was comforting my friend, hurt his feelings and see how it plays out. He loves me, I’m not going anywhere, no matter what you do.” She opened her mouth as if to reply, before closing it again and scowling at me. “I get that you don’t like me for whatever reason, and, honestly, I’ve made my peace with that. But, for reasons I can’t even begin to comprehend, that boy loves me and I will be damned if I let you come between us. Plenty of people have tried, believe me, and if anyone could succeed it would be you, but that does not mean I am not going to put up a fight.”
I picked up one of my now packed boxes, turning on my heel and leaving her stricken where she stood. I felt strangely proud of myself. I’d done the opposite of what I’d set out to do, but I definitely felt like I’d played the right cards. Like I said, the only thing I needed was for her to keep her dislike to herself in front of John and I was golden. She would warm to me eventually, she would have to, but for now all I needed was John.

Notes

Currently sat on the deck outside my tent in France waiting for the thunderstorm and way too excited because I go to Disneyland Paris in about 18 hours.
I've written a lot this past week and a half, so here, have an update.