To the Moon and Back

Alex's POV

Two days passed until I couldn't stay away anymore I just had to see her so I drove to her place and walked in. She was sitting on the couch writing something in her little notebook and looked at me surprised.

"Sharky" I say not giving her the chance of interrupting me. "I know you hate me right now and I can understand why but can we please talk?"

Luke is trying to get my attention and starts snapping at my shoelaces so I pick him up and he wiggles like crazy to get to my face.

She watches the two of us and starts to smile. "I don't hate you, Alex, I don't really know what there is to talk about but if you feel the need then let's do it."

With that I sit down and she stands up at the same time. I look at her confused.

"If we are going to talk I don't want to do this here, I need some fresh air so let's go to the beach." She suggests.

"Have you looked outside? It's really windy and it's getting dark soon, I don't think the beach will be such a nice place." I object.

"Don't you know that sharks come out to play when it's dark and stormy?" She laughs at me and pulls me up from the couch.

We drive out to Ocean Beach because we can take Luke along but when we arrive the beach is practically deserted and it is almost completely dark.

The wind is pretty strong and the waves are huge. Sharky just pulls me along and we start walking along the waterline, some bigger waves wetting our shoes.

"Sharky, I know I did some stupid things in the past and I am sorry about it." I start without really knowing where this conversation will lead. "Please believe me that I never want to hurt you, although I realise I probably did it a couple of times by now."

I am quiet for a moment to get my thoughts together while she just looks at me with a small smile.

"You have to believe me I want to sort things out with us and with my girlfriend, it is just not so easy. I don't know what to do and I am really confused at the moment."

I stop in frustration and run my hand through my hair. I just can't express what is going on with me and I think I said the wrong things already. I look at her for a reaction.

Charlie's POV

I am not a great fan of those 'talks' people think are necessary to have. And it is the same here. Alex tells me he wants to sort things out but I don't really get what he means with that.

"So what do you want me to do?" I ask the first question that pops into my head.

He looks at me astonished, apparently he hasn't thought about that.

"I told you I am not mad at you, so why are you explaining your situation other than you want me to do something?" I try to clarify my thoughts.

"Yes, maybe" he whispers after a moment of thought. "I think I want you to wait for me."

"I am waiting" I shake my head "don't you get that?" I look out to the dark ocean where the waves roar and the foam is big.

I get this urge to go into the water and I let go of Alex's hand and start kicking off my shoes.

"What are you doing" he asks his eyes wide with confusion.

"Let's go for a swim" I say turning to him smiling.

"Sharky are you crazy? Look at the water it's way too wild the current is probably super strong and it's dark and ice cold." He points out to where I am already moving.

It's true the water is really cold but that feels good. It cools down my emotions and it stops me overthinking and just feel my body that starts to shake with chills, still I go on deeper into the raging sea.

I can hardly hear Alex's calls over the roaring of the ocean and now the first waves collapse on top of me. I just let go of all the pain and start to swim although I am pushed under water by wave after wave. It feels so good to become numb and not needing to do anything so I give in to the pull of the tide.

Then suddenly I feel a sharp pain as my wrist is being gripped and I am pulled to the surface and dragged along the sand, I start to cough up cold water from my lungs and gasp for air.

Alex picks me up in his arms and carries me along the beach to sit me down in the sand. I look at him, he is dripping wet and we both are shaking from the cold.

"You have to get out of these clothes." Is all he says and starts to unbutton my shirt although his fingers are shaking violently.

He undresses me until I am in my underwear, then he pulls off his shirt and jeans and hugs me tight to try and warm me up.

"Stop doing shit like that, Sharky I could never forgive myself if something happens to you and I'm not there to save you." He pushes the wet hair out of my face and kisses my lips.

I am still shivering but his lips are so warm that I get calmer. I can start to feel his naked body touching my skin and this is nearly unbearable. My breathing gets laboured again as I try to fight back the feelings that are surfacing. I manage to push him away from me and get up on shaky legs.

" I don't need you to save me, Alex. I am capable of looking after myself, thank you." I shout although my teeth are still clacking from the shivers. " Stop getting so close to me when it will only lead to hurt and frustration again. Stop doing that to me." I start crying now and turn to walk to the car.

Alex's POV

I am getting increasingly scared of her actions, whenever we are together it seems to end in a catastrophe and it always is my fault, I hurt her by being with her and still I just can't go and leave her.

When she went into the water it looked like she wanted to kill herself I screamed after her but she seemed to be in a sort of trance and did not react.

It scared me to death when she just walked in and went under. I raced after her but in the darkness and the raging of the sea I couldn't find her, then suddenly I saw her arm floating up for a second and just grabbed her and pulled her out.

Her skin was ice cold and she shivered so I just took off our clothes and tried to get her warm again with my body heat. I just start kissing her because she is so cold but that totally upsets her and she gets up and screams at me.

At first I don't understand why she is so mad at me but then she starts crying and tells me to stop getting so close and I realise that I hurt her again.

I follow her to the car and get a blanket out of the trunk and wrap it around her.

"I am sorry, Sharky. I seem to do everything wrong. I can't stay away from you but when I'm with you I always end up hurting you."

She looks at me through her tears and says nothing for a while, then a small smile appears on her face.

"Alex you know that you are still only wearing boxers? My god you must be cold. Come here." With that she opens her blanket and wraps it around me as well. Then she rests her head onto my chest.

"What am I supposed to do with you, huh? Tell me. Don't you get that I am crying because I want to be with you but I can't . That I want to have you but I am not allowed to. That I know what I miss because I can't have it and how hard it is to try and control myself?" She whispers.

I can feel her body now being warmer than mine and I just want to stay here with her and I feel exactly the same as she just said.

After a while she says "let's call it a night and go home"

We get in the car and I drive her home when she says "you can stay at my place if you want to but no funny business, okay?" Then she starts to laugh. "I never thought I would say that ever to a guy"

With that the atmosphere is cleared between us and we start to laugh and joke around and she leans her head against my shoulder and it feels right.

Notes

Sharky and her weird mood swings. Is it all Alex's fault?

I'm updating this story because I am stuck on my other one, have been re-writing the next chapter for the millionth time. Urgh.
Anyway, hope you darlings enjoy!