To the Moon and Back

Alex's POV

We don't speak much on the way back. I fall asleep at some point and Jack wakes me up when we arrive at my car in Sharky's backyard.

I get out and walk to the drivers side to hug him through the window and tell him, " Jack I want you to know that I really appreciate what you did for me tonight."

He pats my back and replies with a weak smile. "All good bro. You know I'd do anything for you. I'm sorry it didn't work out. I'll call you tomorrow."

I nod and get in my car with Luke on the passenger seat and drive home. I let Luke run around my backyard for a while and then I go to bed and when I turn off the lights.

Luke crawls onto the bed and snuggles himself to my chest. I don't really mind, he probably feels as lonely as I do.

The next days I don't really leave the house other than driving to the shop to get some dog food for Luke and Liquor and beer for me.

Jack calls everyday but I don't feel like talking much, Rian and Zack call as well and try to lighten my mood but of course there is nothing they could say or do to set things right. Fact is, I fucked up the chance to be with the one person that made me feel complete and sane and probably the happiest I have been in a long time.

After a while I don't even answer my phone there is nobody I want to talk to. I have put the memory card that I took out of the camera onto my computer and play the pictures as slide show over and over again.

There are some amazing shots amongst them from an artists standpoint but most of all you can see two lovers on the images that have created their own little world to live in.

It hurts me every time I look at it still I can't stop doing so. It is like a car crash that you witness, you want to look away but you can't.

One day there is a loud knock on the door and I turn around in bed and hide my head in the pillows to make the noise go away but it keeps knocking.

So I sigh and get up to open the door. It is Marky and he doesn't look too happy, so I turn around and walk back into my living room and flop onto the couch.

He follows me in and stands in front of me his arms crossed with an angry look on his face.

"Alex, what the fuck are you doing? You look like shit, bro. Why don't you answer my calls? You've been missing meetings, the band is worried sick about you. Dude you got responsibilities here, you can't just drop out and pretend this all doesn't concern you. Pull yourself together man, you have been there once you don't want to go there again."

I know what he refers to, he is one of the few people apart from the band that has witnessed me battling depression for a long time.

"Marky, fuck you have no idea how I feel, please just leave me alone, I am not up for your shit right now." I say and stare at the pictures that show on my screen.

He notices and closes my laptop. "Listen here, I will not let this happen. Don't just throw everything away that you have been working for so hard. If this girl is so important to you, why don't you get off your ass and get her?"

I look at him shaking my head. "Marky, I don't even know her real name, I have no idea where she lived, how can I search a whole continent? Do you realise how stupid that is?"

"Oh god Alex, you have to finally learn to talk to people especially to your friends, don't keep everything inside, we are all here to help you, we care for you, when will you learn to open up to us and trust us ?" He sighs and sits down on the opposite side.

"I could have told you her full name, I made a contract with her, remember? And when we met we talked about Australia and she told me where she lived. I know the place, it is a little surf town up on the coast, full of hippies trying to live the dream, it shouldn't be so hard to find her if she went back there." He smiles at me and grabs me by the neck and shakes me in a friendly manner.

"What do you say? Will you give it a try? Bro?" He sounds like a dad trying to convince his kid to ride his bike without training wheels for the first time. And that's exactly how I feel.

I turn to him and hug him. "I am sorry I am such a fuckup, dude. Thank you so much, I will try and find her but I am not sure if I can take another disappointment."

Notes

Awww poor Alex!