Destroy Rebuild

I was laying in the bed, Will sitting up next to me while Micky Mouse Clubhouse playing on the TV in front of us. I had my hand resting against his back since he was new to sitting up by himself. It worried me a little since he seemed so far behind on his transitions, but our pediatrician assured me there was nothing to worry about – he was just taking his time. It was starting to look like he was going to skip crawling and go straight to walking, since he was already starting to try to pull himself up to stand.

About halfway through the episode I realized I was paying more attention than he was and flipped through the channels before settling on a home improvement show. Will wasn’t phased in the slightest as he stared at the block in his hands before bringing it up to his mouth. I reached up and twirled my finger around the brown curl that was starting to form on the back of his head.

My phone vibrated from the bedside table and I reached for it, smiling when I saw Alex’s name before I opened the text.

Happy first Mother’s Day, babe

“Mother’s Day?” I whispered, confused. “Already?”

I closed the messaging app and pulled up Google. As I was typing, the doorbell rang loud in the foyer. I became even more confused, and I hoisted Will onto my hip before heading to the front door. As I looked through the peephole, seeing him standing there, staring at the ground with a bouquet of tulips in his hand, I felt the blood drain from my face. I fumbled with the lock before opening the door slowly and he looked up and smiled.

“Hey, Whit,” Eric said quietly. “Happy Mother’s Day.”

My mouth felt like a desert and my throat felt like it was closing in. I tried to make words but the only thing that came out was, “Eric…”

His smile fell a little at my lack of response. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you before I came over. I didn’t want to risk you telling me not to. I needed to see that you were okay. Plus, I miss you.”

As he was speaking I started to realize that I’d never told him where I lived. The fact that he somehow knew and took it upon himself to show up woke my anxiety.

“H-how did you know where I live?” I asked, my voice cracking.

He bit down on the corner of his lip and said, “I looked in the employee files at work. I just needed to know you were okay, Whit, that’s all.”

Trying (and possibly failing) to hide how freaked out I was, I shook my head and asked, “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

Eric shrugged. “Because you were pretty wrecked the last time I saw or spoke to you.”

I thought back to when that was, just minutes before everything fell apart with Alex.

“How’s that going, by the way?” he asked.

I took a moment and chose my words carefully. “It’s getting better. Which is why you can’t just show up to my house unannounced. What if Alex was here right now?”

“I know,” he sighed heavily. “I considered that option. But I figured if he was here and tried to start something I’d just give him the ass kicking he deserves for what he did to you.”

I sighed and tilted my head to the side, shaking it slightly.

“I’m sorry,” he shrugged. “I just care way more about your wellbeing than I do mine or his at this point.”

“Thank you,” I nodded. “But still, Eric. This isn’t okay.”

“I know, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again if you can assure me that you’re well. Mentally, physically, and emotionally.”

“I am,” I promised.

He studied me for a moment before nodding. “Okay.” For the first time he acknowledged the baby on my hip. “Will?” he asked.

I nodded, adjusting him against me.

Eric bent down to get to his level. “What’s up, dude?” he asked, holding out his hand for Will to touch. Will ignored him and turned his head away and I had to fight the urge to praise him for a moment. Eric rose his eyebrows and stood up straight, sighing heavily.

“I can take a hint,” he chuckled lightly.

I offered him a small smile, which he returned almost instantly. He held the flowers out to me.

“These are for you. For Mother’s Day, and for ‘just because’.”

“Thank you,” I said quietly and I took them from him.

He nodded and unhooked his keys from his belt loop. “I’ll get going. Take care of yourself.”

“I will,” I said, my lips pressing into a firm line. When he turned after waving, I quickly shut and locked the door, letting out a breath of relief.

I walked into the kitchen and set the flowers down on the counter, leaving them there until I mustered up the guts to throw them away. I pulled out a cup and fixed myself a glass of water, my mouth still a tad parched. As I was taking the first sip, the doorbell rang again, causing me to jump.

“What the hell?” I muttered, thinking it was Eric again. As I stomped to the door and unlocked it, I swung it open with force.

Isobel, Alex’s mom, was standing on the other side, a bouquet of lilies in her hand. Behind her, I saw Eric start to pull away from the curb, and I knew she saw him. She smiled at me and I felt my head start to spin.

“Whitney, darling,” she spoke, her accent thick. “Have I caught you at a bad time?”

“No, no, of course not,” I said quickly, trying to force a smile back.

She glanced behind her towards where Eric’s car had been parked. “Is he a friend of yours?”

After a moment, I finally pushed out the word, “Kinda.”

She stared at me for a moment before offering me a small smile.

“Yes, well, I’m sorry for dropping by like this, but I wanted to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day. And since I can’t see my son, I was hoping it wouldn’t be any trouble to spend a little time with my grandson.”

“Absolutely not,” I shook my head. “Please, come in. And Happy Mother’s Day to you, as well.”

“I hope you like lilies,” she said as she followed me into the kitchen.

“Of course,” I smiled as I took them from her, giving her Will in exchange. “They’re beautiful, thank you.”

As they ventured into the living room, I nervously searched the cabinets for a vase. I was aware she knew of what happened between Alex and I, given her house was the one he went to and stayed at after he left us that night. I figured she was more than likely unhappy with me for hurting her son, and being the worry wart that I am, I decided to be the one to bring it up first so I could apologize.

I filled the vase with water and set the lilies inside, placing it in the center of the island before joining them. Before I could build the courage to speak, she did.

“He’s growing so quickly,” she smiled.

“He really is,” I nodded. “I think he’s going to be walking soon.”

She grinned and kissed his forehead as he grabbed her finger. When she didn’t speak again, I took that as my cue.

“Isobel, um,” I paused briefly before making myself continue. “I know that you know about us. And I know that you probably don’t think very highly of me right now. But I just wanted to let you know that I couldn’t do anything like this to your son if the circumstances were different. I would never hurt him just because.”

She looked from Will to me, nodding. “When he told me what happened, I was angry. But when he told me why it happened, I was infuriated.”

I nodded, looking down at my hands.

“I’ve never had to stop myself from beating my own son before, but my, did I want to.”

“Really?” I asked, glancing at her.

“My first husband learned the hard way that I do not tolerate infidelity. Peter learned quickly, too. And now Alex knows. It is disgusting and wrong and I will not allow it,” she said sternly.

“It is,” I agreed. “I’m sorry I stooped to that level, too.”

“Well,” she sighed. “I believe your situation is excusable.”

“You…do?” I asked.

She nodded. “I know you wouldn’t have done this to him if he wouldn’t have done it to you first. You’re not that kind of person, dear.”

I was silent as my eyes drifted back to my fidgety fingers.

“But that isn’t to say Alex is that kind of person either. He’s a good man ultimately.”

“He is,” I agreed quickly. “He’s a great man. Which is why I think I took everything so extremely. I never ever saw any of this coming.”

Isobel shrugged. “He didn’t either. Both of your worlds were altered.”

“Very altered,” I nodded.

She sighed as she set Will on the floor to roam. “He’s probably still a little upset with me that I’m taking your side instead of his.”

“No way,” I scoffed. “But if he is, he’ll get over it. He adores you, Isobel.”

She nodded as a satisfied smile spread across her thin lips. “He adores you, too.”

I had to clear my throat as my eyes started to pool with tears. “And I adore him, which is why I wish I could make all of this go away. I wish I could take back the ways we’ve made each other feel since it happened.”

Isobel leaned forward and took my hand in hers, the contact comforting. “It will go away with time, dear. But you must fight for it. If this is what you want, you have to give it your all.”

I nodded and tightened my grip on her hand slightly. “We had too much of a good thing to let it go to waste.”

She nodded, and it took a moment before she asked, “Was that him?”

For a split second, I thought about pretending not to know what she was talking about, but I knew better and nodded. “It was. Nothing happened, though. He was just checking on me and brought me flowers. I told him how inappropriate it was for him to just stop by.”

“Good,” she said flatly.

My anxiety peaked again, and my heart rate increased as I asked, “Are you going to tell Alex?”

Isobel sighed heavily and rose her eyebrows briefly. “If you say nothing happened, I’ll believe you. I don’t see it necessary to worry him about it.”

“Thank you,” I nodded. “And thank you for not hating me.”

She stared at our hands for a moment before saying, “I’ve never loved anyone from Alex’s past as much as I love you. I will never hate you, Whitney, you must know that. You are a remarkable woman and I’m so delighted that you two found each other. I want to see you make it through this more than anyone. You are already like a daughter to me, and I cannot handle seeing my children go through tough times. Both of you will make it out of this.”

“Wow,” was all I could say as a tear slipped down my cheek. “Thank you. You’ve always been so kind and welcoming towards me. I couldn’t have asked for a better family to become a part of.”

Isobel tapped the top of my hand a few times before letting go and standing up, motioning for me to join her and she pulled me into a tight hug. “You will always be part of our family dear. Always.”

I nodded as I held her tight, the tears freely falling at that point. “Thank you.”

Notes