Jack


I didn’t know what I was expecting. I knew he wouldn’t just give in and hop into my arms, and I would carry him off into the sunset. Life isn’t like that.

I was going to do anything to make sure that Kellin didn’t hurt Alex.
I don’t know how I would ever be able to convince him that Kellin is a bigger douchebag than me, because I’m sure he’s been a great actor while he was tricking Alex that he wanted a real relationship with him.

“Babe, I’m fucking serious. I’m not fucking around, or messing with you, or lying. Please just believe me when I tell you that Kellin is not a good guy for you.” I pressed, watching him roll his big brown eyes made me even more frustrated.

Of course he wouldn’t listen to me, because he can’t trust me.

“Ugh, I thought we dropped the subject.” he muttered, annoyed with me.

“I’m not going to just watch him hurt you, I won’t let you relive the same heartbreak I put you through.” I pleaded, Alex scoffed and looked down.

He muttered something under his breath but I couldn’t hear.

“Lex?” I mumbled.

“I said that no one can hurt me like you did.” he glared up at me, obviously still broken and mad over me cheating and lying to him.

I just don’t want his fragile heart to think it has fallen in love with Kellin, and him to realize Kellin is only interested in making his ex-boyfriend jealous.

It’s fucking heartbreaking to me.
That Kellin gets to date the most beautiful boy in the world when all he plans to do is treat him like shit, while I’m here head over heels for him, and would never dare to hurt him ever again.

Alex deserves me as a boyfriend, not Kellin.
He deserved to be loved unconditionally, instead of used.
“I know.” I sighed.

“Your opinion on my new relationship doesn’t matter, you’re my past.” he said, even though it sounded hard for him to say.

It felt like a stab in my heart, no matter how badly it hurt knowing Alex was just trying to see me as history, I love him way too much to watch him be taken advantage of like this.

I didn’t plan to tell him straight out because I wanted him to break up with Kellin on his own, but I’m sure he’d rather hear it now then 3 months into the relationship.

“Kellin is using you, he wants to make Vic jealous. They’ve been on again off again for years, apparently Vic snapped and now Kellin wants revenge and just wants to rub it in Vic’s face that he can be with other people.” I admitted truthfully, scared of Alex’s reaction but he just gave me a weird look.

“Stop making stuff up-”

“I’m not! Think about it, you’re smart! Kellin and Vic broke up right before us! He is the guy that you think I am Alex, he’s the bad guy here. I’m on your side. He’s literally just dating you to fuck you, and mess with you to make you think that he actually cares for you. Kellin’s just using you as an object because you're cute and eas-” I quickly stopped myself from finishing that sentence because that's not what I meant to say, but Alex’s eyes widened, realizing what I was about to tell him.

“What? Easy?!? Are you calling me a slut?!” he exclaimed angrily.

Of course that’s the only thing he paid any attention to in what I was talking about.
I obviously did not mean that, Alex was just so broken hearted and hurt he would take comfort from anyone. He was a prime target for Kellin to take advantage of because he couldn’t trust his boyfriend, or any of his friends, and he needed someone’s shoulder to cry on.

For someone who had just gotten their heart broken, he seems a little too trusting in Kellin. I don’t know what lies he’s been telling him to brainwash him but they seem to be working.

I knew Alex wasn’t a slut, obviously. He’s probably one of the least slutty people I know. I was literally his first boyfriend, and he never even glanced at any other boy while we were dating.
But, this was a perfect opportunity to bring up another conversation with Alex that I was planning in my head.

Why he just gave up what could’ve been a lifelong, loving relationship like it was nothing, and moved on in a matter of days?

“I mean, you sure seemed to forget about me and move on pretty damn quickly, like these 5 months have never happened.” I said honestly, feeling good to get it off my chest.

Alex stared at me with his jaw open wide, like he hadn’t expected me to say anything but ‘I’m sorry Alex.’

“Jack! YOU cheated on ME!” he reminded me like I had forgotten the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.

“I was drunk!! I made mistakes, babe, but at least I’m still fucking here! I’m still here fucking fighting for us, while you gave up entirely! Stop trying to put us in the past like our whole relationship was a mistake. This is ridiculous, you love me, and we’re amazing together. The both of us know we can’t be happy without the other, we need each other! I’m still here because I love you, and you’ve already found a new boyfriend and forgot about me! You’re the one who gave up on us.” I blamed him, instantly feeling relieved for finally being able to say what I’ve been feeling.

I’ve been pushing everything down, and beating myself up constantly because I hurt him. I didn’t want to hurt him more, but now it seems that he can kind of handle himself in an argument. He’s a lot stronger then he was when he first found out.

I just want him to realize that I wasn’t the only one who broke the other’s heart.

I took a deep breath, expecting him to start yelling back at me but all I heard was the familiar sound of a little sniffle. I quickly looked up and placed one of my hands on his chest, feeling instantly guilty when I saw the tears welling in his eyes.

Fuck, I was wrong. He still can’t handle himself in an argument.
I’m such a fucking asshole.

I was way too hard on him.

“Baby, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just-” Alex stopped me, pushing my hand away from his face so I couldn’t wipe away his tears.

He seemed so overwhelmed I just wanted to give him a hug, but that’d make everything worse.

“Y-You do not get to call me a f-fucking slut, Jack. No. You were t-the one who slept with someone else, and k-kissed someone else, you are the slut!! You aren’t in charge of me! I thought that you didn’t l-love me anymore, I thought that I was the one who did something wrong. I blamed myself! You were m-my first boyfriend, and I love you w-with everything I am. You’re always going to own my h-heart no matter how badly I don’t want you to. But then y-you cheated on me!! You didn’t even t-tell me the truth yourself, I had to catch you in the act! You were the o-one who threw us away! You gave up on us the second you got into bed with Tay! Y-you gave up when you started lying, and when you k-kissed Tay for a second time! I didn’t throw us away, you did! You broke me, and I’m just t-trying my best to not completely fall apart. You don’t get to call me a slut for how I’m dealing with my emotions right now!” he argued, stumbling on his words and sniffling in between sentences.

I can’t believe I said that to him, and I raised my voice at him too.
I’m the biggest asshole on the fucking planet.

He’s just trying to survive with a broken heart, one that I broke, and I’m yelling at him for how he’s trying to cope.
He just wants anyone to love and comfort him right now, but he chose the wrong person to do it.

“Fuck, I didn’t… I just.” I had no idea what to say because nothing I said would make anything better.

“Kellin makes me happy right now. Y-You just have to understand… that you being my boyfriend is not what I want right now. You d-don’t make me happy anymore.” he admitted honestly, gripping lightly on the sides of my jacket like he used to do.

It felt like a stab in the heart.
Hearing that I did nothing to Alex but bring him down. I was supposed to be the person who made him feel like the most special person in the world, but I fucked it up.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to form the words to say to him but I felt speechless.

“You… You’re always going to own my heart. Alexander William Gaskarth, fuck, sorry I forgot you hate when I call you by your full name-” I was cut off by Alex’s giggling making me smile.

“I love you more than anything, but you already know that. Please, just never doubt you are the most fucking important person in my life. My entire world revolves around you. I was so lucky to ever be able to call you mine, and I screwed up bad. I swear to god, I know I’m never going to get over you. All I’m doing is trying to protect you from getting hurt, I know I was a pretty shitty boyfriend, even though it’s hard to believe, there are shittier ones then me-”

“You weren’t that shitty, Jack.” Alex mumbled, running his finger down the zipper of my jacket.

“I just don’t want you to ever be in pain because someone who is supposed to adore you is hurting you.” I told him honestly, wrapping my arms around him tightly in a hug.

Alex hummed and nuzzled his face into my chest, I smiled because I could tell how much calmer he was now just because on my hug. He leaned nearly all his weight on me, I pressed my face into his shoulder and breathed in the scent that I’ve been missing so fucking badly.

“I adore you, Lex.” I mumbled, kissing the side of his head softly.

He pressed into me harder for a second, but I guess something clicked in his mind that he had a boyfriend now, and he pulled away.

“You’re so confusing.” he told me and I just shrugged, making him smile lightly.

“Babe, I can’t keep going on like this. I don’t think it’s good for either of us to be away from each other.” I told him honestly.

“I know, but I’m dating Kellin.” he sighed, like he was disappointed about it.

Why does he have to get a boyfriend so soon? Why can’t be just be single like me?
I know he’s not that independent but now’s a perfect time for him to learn.

I groaned loudly in frustration, and watched him try to think in his disorganized brain on his as I rubbed my thumb in little circles on his hipbone. I tried to take in everything I possibly could, the way his skin felt, the way his messy but styled caramel hair fell farther down his forehead as he looked down, how his body looked fucking amazing in my shirt that he didn’t even realize he was wearing.
I’m sure subconsciously he knew that it was mine when he put it on, I know how comforting I am to him, just like how comforting he is to me.

I never wanted to let him go, even though I already did. The only reason that I am able to have my hands on him, or even be this close to him is because I beat the living shit out of his boyfriend.

I didn’t think of the consequences when it happened, but I was relieved and surprised that Kellin just told him that he was sick. He was giving me some kind of pass, because Alex would be horrified if he’d seen the damage I did to his new and pretty boyfriend.

I just want him to be mine again. No matter what it takes to get him back, I’ll do it.

“Maybe we could just be friends?”

When I heard the words on his lips, I realized I was staring at his hips and looked up at him with wide eyes.

“What?” I said in shock.

FRIENDS?! Is he fucking insane?

Does he actually think I will be able to be friends with him? As in, no kissing or sex?
Hanging out with him without touching him or telling him he’s the most gorgeous person on the planet?

“We’ve been friends before” Alex defended his idea, looking up at me expectantly with those mesmerizing yet innocent light brown eyes that could get me to do literally anything for him.

“No we haven’t. It was for like a day, and you were cuddled up next to me on my bed, and I was kissing you” I reminded him, reaching my hand up to brush a bit of hair away from his face.

“I can’t be your boyfriend right now, Jack… I’m sorry… I know being friends is just… I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do.” he tried to tell me what he was feeling, but he couldn’t get his lips to explain what his mind was thinking.

I instantly felt guilty, because I made him feel ashamed for an idea that was just trying to help.

What the fuck am I doing?

“I will absolutely be your friend baby, I’d be honored too.” I told him quickly, in a fast attempt of trying to assure him, and smiled as I watched his face light up.

He still needs me, even if he can’t really admit it.
Even if he doesn’t want me as his boyfriend right now. He definitely needs me.

“Okay! Good! Just to be clear, that means no kissing me, no touching my butt or dick, or hips, or-”

“M’kay, I get it. I’ll keep it PG only.” I laughed, even though agreeing to that made my whole body tense up.

“No flirting, or being rude to me and Kellin, and you can’t call me anything but Alex. I know you never follow rules but I seriously mean these, Jack. I need things to go my way, not with your little spin on it, twisting around my words or something.” he warned me.

“I’m not an animal Alex, I can control myself.” I told him, rolling my eyes.

He raised one eyebrow up at me and I laughed, making him laugh too.

“Okay! So this is gonna be torture! I can’t wait!” I exclaimed.

“It’s the best I can do right now… I need you but, I don’t know. You’re too confusing, but I want to be around you-”

“No, you don’t need to explain yourself. I would love to be your friend, Alex. It’s going to get some serious getting used to, but being around you is worth anything.” I admitted, watching him blush and shake his head, smiling.

“Just don’t be an asshole, please.” he told me.

“I won’t, never to you. But if Kellin dares to do fucking anything to hurt my ex-boyfriend, we’re going to seriously have a fucking problem.” I said and made him giggle.

So maybe I didn’t get him to break up with Kellin, yet, but at least I’d be around to make sure that the fucker isn’t doing anything that’d make him upset.
I will be there to protect him, and make sure Kellin isn’t an asshole to my angel.

“We have a deal, friends, and just friends?” Alex asked me, holding out his hand for me to shake.

Whoa, this is weird. I don’t think I’ve ever shaken Alex’s hand.

“Deal.” I answered, grabbing his hand in mine and shaking it to seal the agreement.

Just friends.

Notes

damnnnn why are these chapters SO LONG
i mean i don't know how i write this much


BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
OH MY GODDDDDDD

JALEX IS JUST FRIENDS
HOW DO U THINK THATS GONNA TURN OUTTT

and tHAT LITTLE ARGUMENT
OF JACK CALLING ALEX A SLUT
WAS SO FUN TO WRITE
OKAY SO WHO DO YOU THINK WAS RIGHT
DO YOU THINK THAT JACK IS RIGHT THAT ALEX IS KINDA BEING A LIL LAME FOR MOVING ON SO QUICK AND NOT TRYING TO TRY AGAIN WITH JACK

OR WITH ALEX THAT HE'S JUST TRYING TO DEAL WITH HIS BROKEN HEART THAT JACK GAVE HIM
FUCK THIS FUCKING DRAMA

i hope u guys are happy about this and not mad at me that i didn't make them fully back together
but AT LEAST THEY ARE FRIENDSS

also i've been debating on whether or not i should do this thing in this story
im going a little bit against my plans, and i was gonna ask you guys which of the two options you prefer, if i should stick with the plans i was making for so long or change it a bit

but then i would just be forcing you to read a spoiler so i decided on my own and IM GONNA CHANGE IT

i dont even think you guys care becuase you wont know what i changed, but i always let you know everything about how im writing this and my personal life and suchhh soooo why not

SADLY the change im making to my plans isn't making jalex get back together any sooner WHICH IS SAD

but YOU'LL SEE WHAT IT IS IN A COUPLE CHAPTERS
well maybe not a few
maybe like a small or medium sized handful

i wrote that in a very confusing way so if you don't get what i just said just ignore it lmao

BUT
JALEX IS FRIENDS NOW
AND I LOVED THAT ARGUMENT
THATS SO EXCITING OH MY GOSH
I MISSED THEM SO MUCH

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR READING MY STORY IT MEANS A WHOLE BUNCH TO ME THAT YOU'D ACTUALLY TAKE THE TIME TO READ WHAT I WROTE AH

you guys are S OSO SO SO SO AMAZING AND PERFECT AND SWEET

IT BLOWS MY MIND THAT THERE ARE ACTUALLY 39 PEOPLE READING THIS

I JUST WANNA HUG EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU





title credit- Oh Calamity