Jack


I am fucking miserable.

I am practically a walking catastrophe.

The absolute, only thing I could think about was Alex. It was crazy. Yeah, when we were dating I thought I thought about him a lot, but now, it’s constant.
No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get the gorgeous boy out of my brain.

I tried thinking about something else, but then something would remind me of him, or I would focus to hard on not thinking about him that I would just think about him even more!!
But seriously, who could blame me?

Having my love ripped away from my life, all because of these dumb ass mistakes that I made, that I would do anything to take back, and change what I did.

Why didn’t I just fucking tell him the second it happened?!

He’s not stupid, he would’ve understood. Maybe he would be a little hurt, and mad at me for a few days, but I’d take that over what I’m going through now any fucking day.
I always thought that Alex was adorable when he was mad anyway, I honestly am never able to take him seriously when he’s annoyed with me because he’s so fucking cute.

But he’s not just mad at me right now, he’s fucking heartbroken because of me.
That’s not cute, that’s devastating.

Memories kept popping up in my head of our perfect relationship, making me happy for a few seconds before being shattered when I realize how good I had it with him, and what I lost.

I smiled lightly to myself when I thought of our first kiss. I mean, I kissed him plenty on times before that, on his cheeks and forehead making him blush like crazy, but our first, lip to lip, full on kiss.

We were ice skating, barely, we were both horrible and kept tripping over each other. He got cold so I gave him my leather jacket, even though I was freezing in my hoodie I wouldn’t show it.
I held my hand around his waist to keep him from slipping, his body pressed up against mine for the first time making every inch of my skin tingle with excitement.

I stared down at him in full adoration, admiring his messy, tousled light brown hair, sparkling chocolate eyes, and rosy red cheeks.
I couldn’t tell if they were red because the cold wind blustering against us, or if he was blushing because I had my hands on him. Either way, he looked beautiful.

So, I couldn’t help myself.

I placed my hand on his face and kissed him.
I knew it was his first kiss, I didn’t want to overwhelm him by shoving my tongue down his throat no matter how bad I wanted to. I wanted it to be sweet, and special, and give him butterflies in his stomach whenever he thought back to it, like it did for me.

Now I will never kiss him again.

I put my head down on my arms that were crossed on the lunch table, hiding my face from everyone else at the table.

“Please don’t cry again Jack, I only have so much concealer I can put on you to hide the under eye circles.” Cass told me, with much sympathy in her voice.

God, that’s so embarrassing, but with all the crying I was doing, and how I was getting no sleep at all, I’ve looked like a zombie. She offered to put her concealer on me and it helped a lot.
Good thing it’s winter so I’m pretty pale, I get really tan in the summer so we wouldn’t have similar skin tones then.

“I feel like I’m dead,” I mumbled with my face covered.

“Dude, stop being so dramatic.” Zack complained with his mouth full.

“He just broke up with the boy he loves, give him a break.” Cass defended me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I hate that she’s giving me sympathy when I’m such a monster.

“Do you need anything man, a bag of chips to the vending machine, a person to take your frustration out on, a hug?” Rian offered me, making me feel even worse.

“I need Alex,” I told him, lifting my head to look for my boyfriend who was no longer sitting at our lunch table, wrapped under my arm or sitting on my lap like usual.
Wait, he’s not my boyfriend anymore, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop calling him that.

I glanced over at the carmel haired boy who had his back turned towards me. Even his back is fucking hot, his broad shoulders that were ridiculously sexy. Wait, remember. He’s not mine.
He was sitting next to Brendon, and what looked like some of the other nerdy guys that he teaches, fucking thank god all those guys were straight.

Alex is too pretty to be around any gay guys, ever, or bisexual guys. Whoever has a shot at getting Alex needs to back the fuck off him, I’ll make sure they do.

I could tell by his slouching body langauge that he hasn’t gotten much sleep, I’m positive it was because of me. We can’t sleep without each other, and knowing him he’s probably up for hours just being sad. Knowing all that was because of me made me want to die.

I can’t fucking take that I’m the reason that he’s heartbroken right now.
I was the reason for the countless tears he’s shed, the panic attacks he’s had…
Oh my god, I’m such a fucking tool, who does that?!
I just want to pull him into my lap and hug him tightly.

“Do you think I should go over there and talk to him?” I asked them, hoping they’d say yes.

“No, definitely do not do that.” Cass warned me, widening her eyes and shaking her head.

“Why not?”

“The kid’s cried enough over you, give him some space for a bit.” Rian told me, and took a bite of his sandwich.

“I love him so much,” I mumbled, staring down at him from afar again.

“This whole thing is something right out of a lifetime movie,” Zack chuckled, making everyone laugh, and I cracked a small smile. It’s true, it was really eventful.

“Hey! That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile since! See, I know my best friend is still in there.” Rian smiled, patting my shoulder, and my face went back to it’s usual frown.

“You’re best friend is a cheating, lying, douchebag. I don’t see why you like him.” I muttered.

“My best friend is just very, very bad at relationships, no matter how hard he tries. He always has been, hopefully he won’t always be.” Rian sighed, looking at Alex who was talking to Brendan and shrugging. My poor baby.

I tried to imagine his smiling face and I felt my own smile for on my face from happiness.
The way his eyes squinted up, the adorable crinkles by his nose when he lets out his contagious laughter that makes my heart happy. His fucking dimples that fuck me up everytime I see them they made me so happy, because his dimples only show when he has a huge smile on his face.
I used to see those dimples every damn day.

Suddenly, someone stood in front of my view of Alex making me mad, I glared up at the person but before I could even make eye contact a small hand slapped my cheek hard.
I lurched away from the person, it didn’t really hurt that much, it was just pretty damn shocking.

I placed a hand on my throbbing cheek and looked up to see Hayley who now had her arms crossed in anger.

“Whoa! What the hell?!” Zack exclaimed.

“Hayley! Leave him alone!!!” Cass defended me, like always.

“You fucking deserve every ounce of pain you're in, you sick mother fucker.” she spat at me, clearly enraged by something I did, I had no idea what though.
I do a lot of things to piss people off.

“Whoa, whoa.” Rian always being the peacemaker, put both his hands up in surrender.

“Hayley-”

“Do you break everything you touch? Not only did you have Alex crying his eyes out when he found out, but you kissed Tay, then just screamed at her that she meant nothing to you, and now she’s sobbing in the bathroom!!” Hayley exclaimed angrily.

Oh no. Oh fuck, I forgot about that. I was mad and tired, and upset, I wasn’t think straight and I took all the blame out on her because it really was her fault that Alex found out that I was lying.
But, lying was the wrong thing to do, he would’ve found out one way or another, he just happened to find out during the worst possible time ever.

But I never said SHE meant nothing to me.

“How could you say that?” Cass gasped.

“That’s not what I said,” I told Hayley, shaking my head.

“How could you yell at the girl who’s in love with you? All she does is care about you, and you treat her like garbage every damn day just because she isn’t your precious Alex,” the way that she mocked Alex made me on edge, but she just didn’t really understand what happened between me and Tay.

“I didn’t tell her that-”

“Fucking tell her that then. I seriously do not fucking understand why all these sweet and good people are falling in LOVE with an asshole like you!!!” Hayley exclaimed loudly.

My eyes widened at how truthful her words were, I blinked in shock as she stormed away from the table.

Notes

i feel like this story is in the middle of a very weird confusing time
of just people being angry at each other
and lots of dialogue
the real events will start happening in a few chapters though its all good

MY STOMACH HURTS
i want ice cream or something but i have none

sorry i just kinda cut you guys off from alex's pov and whats going on with him thats in the next chapter

pooor jack
pooor tay
that's all i have to say, the poor little babes

im getting tired and it's 11:15 pm
what is going on i usually go to bed at like 3 am

GOSH I STARTED TEARING UP WHEN I WROTE ABOUT THEIR FIRST KISS OHHHHMYGOSH

BUT YOU GO HAYLEY
GOOD JOB STICKING UP FOR YOUR BUDDY LIKE THAT
even though i think jack had a point, he wanted to shut tay down but he did it harshly
but i love him

i dont think i ever asked this
what do you guys think of hayley at the moment?

and what do you think of tay right now?
oooooo anddd what do you think jacks gonna do when he sees kellex? :O

WE'VE NEVER HAD A HAYLEY GIF BEFORE GUYS WHOOOOO
LETS GOOOO


Title Credit- I'd Do Anything by Simple Plan