Jack


I nervously walked to Alex’s door with the bouquet of flowers in my my hands.

I thought that I should give Alex a day, basically a break from me, for a day before I tried to call him. I wasn’t surprised when he didn’t answer all of my calls, but I bare the fact that the last time that I spoke to him he was sobbing and screaming at me.

I fucking did that to him.

I stood on the doorstep, and reached up to ring the doorbell, immediately looking down.
I didn’t know how he was going to react to seeing me here.

He might slap me, he might start crying, he might already be crying, he might start yelling.
I just want to hold him, apologize profusely until I lose my voice and can’t even speak anymore.

I flinched as I heard the door knob turn, but was very disappointed at the person who stood in front of me

“You’re even dumber than I thought you were, do you want my parents to find out about Alex? Bringing flowers for him, are you stupid?” Tom hissed at me, glaring at me through angry eyes.

“I-I’m sorry, Tom. I didn’t think of that.” I said. Oh my god, what the hell was I thinking?
I just wanted to do anything to make him feel better, I thought that flowers might help.

“Seems like Alex just dodged a bullet-”

“Please, please let me talk to him. I just want to explain, and I haven’t been able to have a real conversation with him.” I begged.

“Wow, I wonder why,” Tom scoffed, closing the door on my face but I stopped it.

“Dude, please.” I begged, looking him in his eyes that looked almost identical to Alex’s

“No, he’s not even home. He was crying so hard and having so many fucking panic attacks that my parents wanted him out, so he’s at Brendon’s house.” Tom explained angrily.

“Oh my god…”

I could picture it no matter how fucking hard I didn’t want to.
I am the only person that’s able to calm him down from his anxiety attacks, and he’s having them because of me. I need to be with him. I need to help him.

I turned my back on Tom and walked back to my car, ignoring the insults Tom was shouting after me. Nothing he could say could compare to what I was saying to myself right now.

I got in my car, putting the flowers in the passenger seat and drove to Brendon’s house which was all away across town.

He needs me so much and I fucking threw everything away.

He must be so disappointed in me, I can’t believe that I actually did this to him.

Not only did I cheat on him, I lied to him, then kissed Tay again.
I don’t deserve love from a beautiful boy like Alex, I’m a monster.

I was lucky enough to have the time that I had with him, I could’ve had forever but of course I screwed everything up like I do with everything.
I didn’t want this to end like one of my stupid fucking relationships that last 3 days before I find someone more interesting. I don’t want anybody else but him!

But I broke him!!

I wanted to be the nice boy that took him out on dates, held his hand, made him dinner, and I was.
But I am not a nice boy. I am a jerk.

Jerks and nice boys don’t mix, I hurt Alex, no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t hide the truth.

I pulled into Brendon’s driveway, noticing Cass’s car parked in front.
What the hell?
What was she doing here?

I ran up to the front door, ringing the doorbell, clutching the bouquet of flowers nervously.
I impatiently tapped my fingers against my legs, wondering if I should ring it again.

No, it’s been 5 seconds.

I heard footsteps from inside, and the door opened for me to see a girl with brown hair and blond highlights opened the door with a tear stained face. Oh god.

“Let me see him,”

“Absolutely not,” she sighed, blocking the doorway so I couldn’t get in.

“Please-”

“Flowers? Really Jack?” she stared down at them and gave me a look full of pity.

“I need to see him right now, where is he?” I asked, getting annoyed and impatient.

“Upstairs in Brendon’s room,”

“Is he okay? How is he doing?”

“Well, he cried himself to sleep, so I think he’s napping right now.” she shrugged like it was normal, making me shudder and cover my face with my hands.

“I haven’t even gotten a chance to explain!! I didn’t get to tell him why I lied to him-”

“I don’t think he really cares about the ‘why’ part. I told you to tell him Jack, you did this to yourself, but worst of all you did this to Alex. He isn’t going to talk to you right now, okay? You might as well just go.” she sighed, I could tell she felt bad for me even though she didn’t like me at the same time.

“I’m begging you, just let me upstairs. I’ll do anything please, I need to apologize to him. I’m the only person that can calm him down, you know that. He needs me with him-”

“No. Alex needs to learn what life is going to be like without you holding his hand. You already practically shoved him off a cliff, he doesn’t want comfort from you right now.” she told me with a glare, another wave of guilt hit me like a tidal wave.

I just want to be there for him. I don’t want him doubting my love for him, because I do love him.
I made mistakes, huge mistakes, but we’re in a relationship. Things like this happen.

I’m committed to him no matter what.
If he did this to me I wouldn’t want to never speak to me again. Well… I don’t know.
He doesn’t understand my side of the story because nobody will tell him, or let me explain it to him.

All I was trying to do was protect him, but I made everything so much worse.

“Can you give him these? Tell him that they’re from me, that I love him, and I’m sorry.” I mumbled, handing Cass the large bouquet of colorful flowers that I was planning to give to him in person.

I guess that was a bit too far, at least for today. I will see him on Monday.

“I will… I’m sorry all this happened Jack. I know all you wanted was the best for him, everything just kind of blew up.” Cass muttered, staring down at the flowers and back at me.

I shrugged, turning away and walking back to my car.

I won’t give up on us, no matter what. I’m going to make sure we end up alright.

Notes

im sorry for this badly written short filler chapter
in the middle of this chapter i kinda just thought this was a pointless chapter, but i kept writing it anyway because it was halfway done soooooooo.....

there will probably be another chapter later tho so YAY!!!

the next chapter will be pretty drama-y
when is this story not honestly




Title Credit- Your Bed