Can I Say I'm Sorry?

"Shay, get up," Jack said as he was shaking me.

"Oh fuck," I muttered.

I grabbed my phone and groaned as the light hit my eyes. I saw the time and groaned that we had to get on stage in a few minutes. I crawled out of the bunk and pulled clothes out of my bag. I looked around and crept into the back room to change. Once I was done I emerged from there wearing a black sports bra and black skinny jeans. I decided against putting any makeup on because I felt like absolute crap. That's the last time I go to a party and try to keep up with the guys.

"Hey guys, let's play that new song, That Girl today," Alex said.

"Does Shay know it," Zack asked.

"I'll make sure she's got the part before you go on stage," Rian said.

I went into the fridge and grabbed one of the sugar free Monster's that I had begged everyone to not touch. I went into the pantry and poured a bowl of cookie crisp because I knew that Jack would let me eat them. Zack's words still floated around my mind. Why would Jack be using me? I didn't have anything that he wanted, I was nearly positive of that fact.

"You coming girly," Zack called.

"Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking," I explained.

I grabbed my pass off of the table and quickly attached it to my belt before running after them with only the Monster in my hands. I ignored the fact that I didn't have shoes on because I wasn't going to use them anyway. I had no idea which song it was that Alex wanted to add because drums are recorded first so I really wasn't sure what the final product sounded like and I still didn't listen to their music.

"Zack, what song is it that Alex wants to add," I asked.

"It's called That Girl, when Rian shows you the pattern you'll remember it," he said.

"You really aren't helpful Zee."

"See I thought having you on tour would be different. I know you're like my sister but you're supposed to be nice when the guys aren't."

We both laughed, I bumped his shoulder with my arm. He watched as I threw the empty can on the ground as we walked towards sound check. He wrapped his arm around my waist and threw me over his shoulder. I squealed in surprise as I was now upside down with no where to look except his butt.

"Grow up you guys," Alex said.

I could tell that Zack didn't want to but he put me down. I smiled at him and he reciprocated it. He linked his arm with mine as we continued walking towards the stage. Zack was like the older brother that I had wanted. Once we neared the stage we were all showing passes to the guards as we were walking towards the back. Looking at it now I probably should have put a real shirt on instead of just using a sports bra as a shirt. I knew that I was going to hear some shit from some of the people in the audience.

"Could you not dress like a slut for once," Alex asked me.

"What the fuck are you talking about? You aren't my fucking parent. God, stop fucking trying Alex. Why do you even care," I said turning around, looking at him.

"Just be an adult for once."

"What peed in your cornflakes," I muttered.

I was getting really sick of his ever changing attitude. One day he wants to be my best friend and then the next day suddenly everything is my fault. He's the worst sometimes and that is the one thing I would never regret about breaking up with him. He was the most indecisive person that I had ever met.

I sat behind the drum set and Rian was explaining how the song went and I was playing it to make sure it was right. He gave me the green light for the song with an apprehensive smirk on his face. I knew that there was some that they weren't telling me and I was almost fine with that, I didn't really want to know either. Sometimes it's just better to not know.

Once we were done I walked off stage with the guys to just relax for about two minutes. This was the calm before the storm and that was always a fun thing but also a very nerve wracking thing because this was something that we couldn't screw up but we still are human and mistakes do happen.

The guys motioned for me to go on and I did and there was a ton of cheering; once I sat down the audience got much louder because the guys were walking onto stage. It was really nice to be playing in general. As stressful as it could be I really did enjoy it.

"I love seeing you guys out here," Alex said. "Today, we're doing something a little bit differently. This is a new song. I really hope you enjoy. I wrote this about some girl that I used to know and she came back into my life. This is called That Girl."

The audience screamed louder than I had heard anything before. We started playing and for the first time ever I heard the lyrics of the song. It wasn't the type of song you want written about someone, in fact it was quite the opposite. There was no secret that it was about me. I was flattered that he cared enough about me to spend his time writing a song about me but at the same time I really wished he hadn't.

Once we were done with the concert I stood waiting for him to get off the stage. I saw as he threw the last pic into the crowd before turning to walk towards me. Once he was within arms reach I grabbed his shirt and pulled him close to me. I was done with acting like none of this was bothering me because quite frankly I was trying really hard to be friendly. Now he's going to pull this shit on me and I'm done playing his stupid little game.

"What the fuck was that," I asked.

"It's just a song, stop over analyzing," he stated.

"It's just a song just like I'm just a drummer. I thought we were chill, what the fuck happened?"

"I thought we were friends too, then I saw you and Jack and I'm now wondering if we were friends. I thought friends wouldn't break any sort of code."

"I'm not dating him."

"That's not what it looked like the other day."

"You weren't supposed to know about that Alex."

"Well, I do. We have to deal with the past now don't we?"

"Why do you care Lex?"

"Isn't it obvious?!"

Notes

Ohhhhhhh, drama!!!! I just really felt like writing this for some reason. I also don't know when I update again because a friend of mine who I only see once a year is coming into town soon so I'm going to be spending a lot of time with him. Also, my family is looking at getting another dog which will be really nice because it gets really lonely at home.

Leave a comment and rate if you enjoy :)

Title Credit: Life Is Beautiful - Sixx: AM