Can I Say I'm Sorry?

I was laying with my head in Jack's lap as he was playing some game on the playstation on the bus. It was really comfortable to be close to someone. I had missed this closeness but the chances of me dating someone, especially a friend, was far from likely. I mean he was sweet, I enjoyed his presence. I enjoyed the presence of other people to say the least, it made me feel less alone than I typically did.

"Shay," can I talk to you outside," Zack asked.

"Yeah, sure," I said, getting up.

I followed him outside where you could see the sun setting. I looked over at Rian who was on the phone with his girlfriend. He was leaning against the side of the bus. Once he saw Zack and I he flashed us a smile. I followed Zack to a field that was nearby but far enough away where we wouldn't be interrupted.

"He's not good for you," he said suddenly.

"The fuck you talkin about," I responded.

"Jack. He's not good for you. I'm your friend. I'm his friend. That's why I can tell you that. I don't know how you think it will end up but I will not watch you get hurt Shay. I can't believe you fell for his charm. I mean, he's one of my closest friends and that's why I'm giving you a warning."

"But I-"

"Shay stop lying. You fell for him. It's obvious. Alex even saw you kiss him. He's not good for you Shay."

"He makes me feel good okay? He makes me feel like I belong. He makes me feel good on the inside okay? That's why. He makes me forget about my only regret that is leaving Alex. That's why."

I looked at Zack and he pulled me into his arms in a hug. He was shaking his head. I wrapped my arms around him. I didn't like hugs usually but I just felt safe.

"Shay, you don't need a guy," he whispered.

"Everyone's been trying to set me up with people. I just feel like a failure okay. Being close to anyone makes me feel better. Like I have a chance of maybe getting married one day. Like I could possibly be like a normal girl but this is me we are talking about. I wouldn't care who it was, Jack just seemed to be there for me and that's what I've wanted," I whispered back.

"Don't fall for him please. He's no good for you."

"Thanks for having my back Zee."

"You know I always have your back."

I walked back to the bus with Zack and walked past everyone to go lay in my bunk. I opened my phone and saw unopened texts from Mark. I ignored them and looked at the calendar. I only have three weeks left and I would never have to see these guys ever again. I would love for things to be the way they were before.

Notes

I'm super bored cause I'm alone all day so here's another update. I plan on my next update being for Undercover. I promise Shaylex will happen just not yet. I really hope y'all enjoy this. I'm unsure if there will be an update tomorrow because I'll be doing mostly nothing until I leave for the concert.

Leave a rate and a comment if you enjoyed :)

Title Credit: Goodbye - My Darkest Days