Can I Say I'm Sorry?

I woke up and felt an arm across my waist. I looked over and saw Jack curled into my back. I sighed and moved his arm softly as to not wake him up. I stood and looked in the mirror. I was wearing a baggy shirt and underwear so I was certain that nothing had happened last night. I grabbed Alex's hoodie off of my chair and threw it on. I walked into the kitchen and clicked on my stereo as I went in the fridge to grab pancake stuff. I walked around the kitchen cooking and singing along with the song that I kept repeating.

"When are you going to tell him," Jack asked out of nowhere.

"How long have you been standing there," I questioned, startled.

"Long enough. When are you going to tell him?"

"Tell who? Tell them what?"

"You've been singing Back to December for God knows how long. It's pretty obvious."

"I don't love him."

"And I don't play guitar."

I looked at the man leaning against the wall across from my kitchen. He was only wearing boxers. His thin, long arms were folded across his chest. He sighed and strolled over to me. I looked up at him as he pulled part of the hoodie I was wearing up so he could see it better. I took note of the glasses that were perched on his nose.

"You know, he thought he lost this four years ago," he whispered.

"He did," I answered.

He shook his head and opened the oven door. I pulled some of the pancakes out that I were keeping warm on a plate in there. He put them on a paper plate and smothered them with syrup. He didn't go to the table instead he stood near me while I finished making breakfast.

"Do you want to take me up on the tour opportunity? We need an answer soon," he asked.

I walked over to the calendar on the nearby wall and looked it over before speaking, "Yeah, I can."

A rather awkward silence filled the air seeing as I had stopped the stereo once Jack started talking to me. Even if I asked for forgiveness Alex would never say yes. You don't take back the person that hurt you like I had hurt him. Anyway, he had a girlfriend, he was happy. Who was I to step in? I mean, she seemed nice enough anyway. She didn't need to be threatened by me, even if I was going on tour with the guys nothing was going to happen.

"Shay, why did you leave without a word," Jack asked.

"I couldn't bare to see you guys hurt. I figured if I just left it would be the most painless. It pained me to not be there. I mean, you guys were my world but I needed to. I wanted to start working as soon as I could," I answered.

"Did you know he cried? He couldn't find you before but that didn't mean anything because there was so many people there. Zack had texted me that he didn't see you. We didn't tell Alex. We heard your name get skipped. After everything was done he was in tears. He wanted to see you just once more. Tell you that he forgave you. He wanted to tell you that he loved you. You weren't there, you ran from your problems once again. He told himself and us that he would never forgive you now. He still hasn't. You broke his heart more than anyone else and you were the one person who promised they'd never hurt him. That's why he's so angry."

"I had a job. I wanted money. You would've done the same thing I had. I'm surprised you didn't. You signed your deal in February of our senior year but I'm the bad person because I left sooner then you did. I don't regret a single thing I did and I have no need to."

"Except you regret the whole Alex situation."

"If you bring him up one more time I'm going to throw you out of my house. Seriously, stop. You're almost as bad as my parents talking about me getting married and having kids. You obviously don't know me."

He sighed and left the kitchen, leaving his phone on the table. I assume he went back to my room to get his clothes or something. His phone started ringing and I sighed, seeing it was a call. I picked it up and swiped answer.

"Jack Barakat's phone," I spoke.

"Who the fuck is this," Alex asked.

"Shay, what do you need?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe I need the person whom I called and not some cheap whore."

"First off, speak to the girl who saved your ass with some respect, second, don't be jealous that he got further than you and third, one moment."

I knocked on my door and opened it slightly so I could hand Jack his phone. I heard him sigh and he take his phone from my hand. I closed the door and sat on my couch. I hated snapping at Alex but he made me feel like I was some sort of lower class person and I hated feeling that way. I absolutely hated the way he made me feel then and I hated it even more now.

Notes

Two updates today, I might change the ending I wrote to So Far Away because I don't really like it but who knows? I've been up since 5 am so that's why there are two updates today because I've had a while to be writing so this makes me feel better about not doing anything at all instead of listening to music. I really hope y'all like this story so far, in case your wondering they're both very hurt and that's where all the anger between them is coming from, they're hurt but don't hate each other.

Leave a comment and rate if you enjoy :)

Title Credit: Fearless - Taylor Swift