Can I Say I'm Sorry?

I hadn't texted him or left a voicemail for him and it was killing me inside. I just wanted to make everything right and fix what I had broken but I knew that wasn't something that was going to happen. I just had to get used to not having him in my life again except it hurt worse this time than it did years ago. Maybe because I had been willing to leave him before but now it wasn't my choice. He had chosen to rip himself from my grasp. Now I was actually eating and sleeping which was more than I could've said a week ago.

"Shay," Heather, the other back up vocalist, called.

"What is it," I asked, looking from my bunk to her.

"The guys have a guitar center thing so we can either hang out in there or go do something else until four."

"I'm gonna go with them, you can go do something else if you don't want to. Being surrounded by guitars actually sounds really nice right now."

She nodded and left the bunk area and I decided to do the same. The guys had grown on me, I still didn't know them too well but it was nice to be around them and be able to talk to them anytime. They were all older than me so they were really able to help me emotionally. They almost acted as father figures to me which was something I would never give up.

"So you're coming with us," Nikki asked.

"Yeah, that way I can play some guitar too without messing with your guy's instruments," I answered.

"You can use them whenever you want you know that right?"

"I know, I just don't feel right doing that."

He shrugged and they all stood up. I let them leave the bus first and I followed behind them. I didn't really say much but I felt an arm get thrown around my shoulders. I looked up and saw that James was the person next me.

"Did you tell him," he asked.

"No, he won't talk to me," I muttered.

"Just keep trying."

"What's the point? He hates me and there's no point in kicking a dead horse."

"If your opinon mattered that much to him then he doesn't hate you. He might not be happy with you but it's not because he hates you. It's because he cares that much about you. He wanted you to say that you agreed because he cares about you and he obviously still has feelings for you."

"Look, it's over and done and he's happier with me out of his life anyway."

He just shook his head and walked ahead of me without saying another word. We got inside and they were escorted elsewhere to do whatever it was they were doing. I walked into the acoustic room and picked up a guitar. I started to play Wicked Game the only song that came to mind.

I hadn't realized I was singing along until I was done and someone was applauding. l looked over and saw Nikki standing in the doorway. He smiled at me and sat down next to me.

"You know you could do this as your job instead of being a studio musician," he told me.

"I know, that just didn't work out," I said.

"That's a shame, you got real talent."

Notes

I'm sorry all the chapters are sad but this song has been going through my head for about a week and so I wanted to write a chapter around. Sorry it's kind of a crappy chapter, it's just a filler. The next chapter will be from Alex's POV.

Leave a rate and a comment if you enjoyed.

Title credit: Wicked Game - Chris Isaak