We'll Let The Fires Just Bathe Us

“DAMN IT!” I screamed as I punched a tree.

It shook and threatened to fall but it didn’t. In anger, I pushed against it, making it crash to the ground.

Great.

That’s another thing you’ve let down.

But I didn’t waste time thinking of that tree, I thought about something much more important. Alex.

I cared.

Damn it I cared.

I don’t know when I went from not giving a shit about him to thinking about him all the time but somehow, I got there. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to calm my anger.

Why did you have to go up to his cage in the first place?

I could’ve kept walking, gotten myself a nice submissive slave…But no.

I wanted the fearless one who bit someone. I wanted the one who smirked at everyone as if he knew all their secrets. I wanted the one who would be a challenge.

I gritted my teeth and sighed, glaring up at the house.

So what are you going to do?

Are you going to keep letting him think you hate him?

Or are you going to go up there and show him how much you care about him?

NO!

You can’t care about him

You can’t love him.

You know what chaos would rain down if that happened.

You’re evil Jack.

There is nothing in this world that can change that.

I nodded, making up my mind. I refused to care about him. It was too dangerous for me to love him.

I’d gotten lucky with Patrick. When I fell for him, I still had my shadow in me, keeping me evil but even then, Hell almost crumbled. I was still fused with the most vile, malicious, evil being to have ever been created, and Hell almost fell…because I was in love.

Love changes people so quickly it’s a wonder they don’t notice. It turns the angry to calm, the sad to joyful, the hurt to brand new, and the evil to pure.

That’s why I couldn’t let myself fall in love. It would be the turning point in me becoming good and if that happened, even if Hell didn’t fall (hypothetically of course, there’s no way Hell could lose another ruler and still remain upright), the fourth quarter would be ruler-less and millions of demons would be vying for command. That would be a disaster because not every demon has the control I do.

It’s a demons nature to try and cause as much chaos and pain as possible but you must do that within a reasonable margin otherwise society, and eventually the entire population would crumble. I couldn’t love anyone because that would mean the second apocalypse.
So I just refused to care. It was too dangerous.

I have to make him hate me. Make him hate me so much he won’t care about my love. Then he’ll be safe

I knew that if it would keep him safe, I would do everything in my fucking power to make sure that he detested me. It was for the best. If he loathed me, he and the world would be safe. It saddened me to know the things I’d have to do to him in order for him to detest me but I didn’t have a choice.

He had to hate me.

And if hating me was going to keep him safe, then I was going to make sure he despised me.

Notes

Title: Old Scars/Future Hearts - All Time Low