We Were Born To Lose

They threw me back into my cell and I landed on the stone floor hard. I winced at the pressure applied to my new wounds and crawled to my pile of hay as they walked away. I was exhausted and close to cracking but I couldn’t do anything but put my head down and sleep.

I was standing in the forrest and it felt like everything was staring at me. Every tree, every leaf, every single piece of dirt on the ground was staring at me with such intensity that it caused the hair all over my body to rise. I couldn’t hear anything, the world was eerily silent. I couldn’t even hear myself breathing. I took a cautious step forward and once I did, I had the compelling urge to run. I looked behind me to see a black thing racing at me at alarming speeds. It was like it was make of black steam, but it was so fast and it was so…Dark. The kind of darkness that would make hell cower. I’d just gotten a glance and I could tell that darkness was like nothing I’d ever seen. I bolted away, running so fast my legs could’t keep up so I stumbled and fell to the ground. I still couldn’t hear anything. I shot up and ran harder. I zipped through the trees and bracken but I could tell it was gaining on me. I couldn’t hear or see it, but I knew. I’m sure I let out a frightened cry but I didn’t hear it. Nothing make any sound. It was getting closer. I ran as fast as possible but once I felt something colder than ice grip my arm, I knew I was done for. The cold filled me, making me so cold I couldn’t move. Then suddenly it was gone but I was still freezing. I opened my eyes slowly to see Alex standing before me.
“Alex!” I cried, flinging my arms around him. He was warm and the the second I touched him, I was filled with his heat.
“I’m going to find you, Jack. I promise.” He murmured.
“I know you will.” I replied, burying my face in his neck and breathing in his scent, knowing it could be a long time before I ever smelled it again. It had been a long time since I’d been held like this. A long time since I’d felt his skin on mine. My desperation for him was visible as I clung onto him for dear life, getting as much contact as possible.
“Alex?” I whispered. At the time, I wasn’t sure if this was a dream or real life, but I knew I had to tell him. I had to tell him that he was the one I loved more than anything else.
“Hmm?” He replied and I pulled away to look at him. I placed my hand on his cheek and the other on the back of his neck while his arms where wrapped around my waist. I looked into his eyes, those gold flecks giving me a sense of being home.
“Alex, I lo-“ But right before I said those words that had been the only thing I’d been thinking about, he threw me off of him and ran. “ALEX!” I screamed and tried to run after him but it was useless. I couldn’t move. My feet were planted to the ground. I was forced to watch as Alex ran out of sight and I was forced to stay in place, growing further and further away from him.

I shot upright with a gasp, not caring about my wounds that protested against movement. I exhaled hard and clutched my chest. There was a pain there and the cause was not torture. It was Alex. I missed him so much, I felt physical pain. I would die a thousand deaths just to feel his embrace again. Words can not convey how much I longed to be with him again. I missed him more than the desert thirsted for water. I missed him more than the ocean’s longing for air. I missed him more than a starving man ached for food. A tear sipped out of my eye when I realized that I would probably never see him again. I’d most likely die either in this cell, or in the room I was tortured in.

You’ll never see him again.

My cruel conscious laughed at me and my misery. I wiped away my tears and took a deep breath.
“He’s up!” A guard called. I exhaled and pulled myself together, mentally preparing myself for another day of unimaginable agony.

Notes

Title Cred: Skinny Love by Bon Iver