We Were Born To Lose

I screamed in agony as my torturer poured poison into my open wounds. It wasn’t lethal or anything, it just provided a severe burning and stinging sensation which eventually turned into extreme itching.
The past few days that I’d been here, I was either in the midst of a panic attack, just recovering from one, or about to have one. I got no breaks. It was panic attack after panic attack after panic attack. These methods resurfaced old memories which I’d buried deep within my subconscious, never to be though of again. But now my mind was cracked open, opening the floodgates of every horrible thing that ever happened to me. More poison was applied mercilessly but despite all the agony that had actually caused me to black out a few times, I never betrayed my master. Despite the panic attacks, the torture, the lack of food which sent hunger pains to my chest and between my ribs, and the humiliation…I didn’t crack. Reason being, is because every time I almost did, I could see Alex. I could feel him holding me. I could hear his soft, yet strong voice that demanded the attention of everyone around. It was like Alex was with me and that refreshed me and reminded me why I stayed strong for him. I stayed strong because I loved him. I loved him more than life and comfort and certainly I loved him more than enough, to lay here and be tortured. He always flowed through me. My veins didn’t need my blood that was always being shed because he was enough. And that’s why every time the torturer would offer me a way out of the excruciation, or try to interrogate me, I’d stay silent. Then he would torture me even more ferociously than before but I never gave. I never broke because I loved him too much.

Notes

Title Cred: Stay's Four The Same by The Ready Set


jack baby noooo