“So how’s Alex?” Matt asked me.
“He’s better.” I smiled into my porridge.
“Oh is someone blushing?” He asked with a giggle and my head snapped up.

Does he know?

“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“Oh come on, first.” He lowered his voice, “I know you’re gay, and second, I know you like him.”
For a split second I was worried that he was going to rat me out but by the look on his grinning face, I knew that wasn’t the case.
“W-what? H-how? Did Mom tell you?”
“She didn’t have to. The way you stare at him is enough.” He smirked.
“What? Do you think anyone else knows?”
“So it is true!”

Damn it

“Matt please-“
“You don’t really think I’d tell anyone! If it makes you feel better, I’m bi. There now we both know each other’s secrets. And to answer you previous question, no. I don’t think anyone else knows.”
“Than how’d you notice?” I asked making him blush.
“Because…Um…Well you’re sort of…Really attractive, Jack.” He admitted.
“What?”

You’re not attractive. You’re ugly. You’re a fat useless piece of shit, he’s just lying to you to make you feel better.

“You didn’t know it?”
“Um…No?”
“Wow Jack, I’d’ve thought you knew considering our dear Prince stares at you every second you aren’t looking at him.” He smirked.
“He what?”
“You seem to be saying “What” a lot.” He remarked.
“Well pardon me for being a little speechless considering I’ve just found out that one of my friends knows my biggest secret.” I retort making him laugh. A knock sounded at the door, I got up to answer it since Mom was out and I saw Sir Balthazar stood before me looking panicked.
“What?”
“It’s Alex, hurry!” He gasped before bolting down the hall. Matt and I raced after him and up into his room. Alex stood there screaming at Sir Dawson and trashing his room.
“He’s having a mental breakdown.” Sir Balthazar murmured. The sight before me terrified me but luckily I was able to keep level headed.
“Everyone get out. The Prince needs his space.” I instructed while Alex screamed profanities and pulled his bookcase to the ground. Once we were alone, I took a cautious step forward.
“Alex?”
“FUCKING DON’T COME CLOSER!” He screamed making me halt.
“What’s wrong?” I asked calmly.
“WHAT’S WRONG? EVERYTHING IS FUCKING WRONG!”
“Calm down Alex.” I breathed.
“NO I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING CALM DOWN!” He raged.
“Okay, okay. Just stop shouting. You don’t have to calm down, just don’t yell.” I said, not sure if I could take the yelling anymore.
“NO I-“
“Please, Lex” I almost whispered, a tear rolling down my face. His expression went blank and he stopped.
“Thank you.” I whispered, whipping the tear away quickly. “Now I’m going to come closer, okay?”
“N-no d-don’t.” He whimpered but my arms were already around him. He didn’t struggle at all, in fact he hugged me back.
“What’s wrong?” I murmured.
“I’m just…I’m so worried.” He whispered.
“Of what?” I replied.
“We’re going to war. What if you get captured? What if you get tortured? What if you’re killed? If I’m killed, what will happen to you?”
“Alex I’ll be fine. I won’t get captured or tortured. I’ll be completely fine.” I reassured him, only making him squeeze me tighter.

---

Two more days remained until we headed for the front. The Prince had grown more and more protective over me these past few days and he’d grow hostile to anyone who was ‘too’ friendly to me but luckily he was busy most of the day with the planning so he didn’t have much time to fuss over my safety. I was currently training with the knights in the field. I would point out their flaws and they’d do the same for me. Sir Dawson swung and I dodged making him hit thin air and leaving his side exposed, I stepped forward to lunge but somthing caught my foot and I fell flat on my face. Laughter filled the air and I noticed Sir Merrick’s sword by my foot which caused me to trip and him shaking with laughter.
“You guys I would’ve won!” I laughed.
“No you wouldn’t have! I was just going to let you get a hit on me before I brought you to your knees.” Sir Dawson chuckled.
“No way!” I cried, excepting Sir Merrick’s hand to help me up. This continued all afternoon, playful banter, picking on each other, and just having a good time. Eventually the sun started to set so we all headed up to the castle for dinner.

I was happy with how laid-back I could be with them. When I first met the knights, I was scared stiff but now they’re my friends and I felt completely safe with them.
I opened the door to Mom’s room and walked in. I sat down in front of Alice and Cass as I ate my stew.
“Where’s Matt and David?” I asked.
“They’re with Sirs Merrick and Dorian training.” Cass replied.
“They’re coming with us?” I asked.
“Yes. So is Sir Dawson.” She mumbled.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Cass here wants to see the war and fight.” Alice giggled.
“No I want to go and make sure my master is okay!” She cried.
“He’ll be fine, for what it’s worth, I watched him kick Sir Merrick’s ass in training today.” I laughed making Alice giggle again and Cass smile.

---

The next day was a mess. Everyone was running about either doing some last minute training or packing. I’d gotten all my packing done the previous night so I was taking care of the horses and making sure they were ready for such a long ride.
“Jack, follow.” Alex said, walking past the stall. I blushed at his blunt order. I couldn’t help but find him really sexy when he was demanding and candid with his commands.
Alex explained to me that he had been training all morning and he still needed to pack. Once we got up to his room, I pulled out a bag and he threw whatever clothes he wanted to take at me. I folded them and neatly place them in his bag as he scanned around the room for anything else he might need. I noticed that he seemed kind of frantic in his actions. Once we were done, he immediately unsheathed his sword.
“Alex..You okay?” I asked, tying up the last bag.
“What? I’m fine. I’m fine.” He said, concentrating on his sword and post.
“Alex.” I said, taking the sword out of his hands, “You need to take a break. You’ll be holding that plenty when we actually get there.” I murmured. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong!” He cried, his eyes wide and panicked. Then I realized what it was.
“Alex, I’ll be fine. Nothing is going to happen to me. I’ve got you and all the knights protecting me, I’ll be fine.” I soothed. He didn’t say anything, he just pulled me into his chest and held me for a long time.

Notes

Title Cred: Secrets by One Republic


Wow I don't like this chapter. It's long and all over the place and ugggggghhhhhh