Fuck I hated myself. Jack was sad enough without me adding to it all.

Why do you have to be such a good for nothing prick?

When people say they’re sorry for things like the ones I’ve done, no one really believes them but I truly meant it. I just woke up from a nightmare where I’d hurt Jack again. Tears streamed down my cheeks as regret filled my gut. I took a ragged breath and got out of bed. I knew it was just a dream, I knew I’d never hurt him like that again, and I knew that he was fine, but I still had to make sure he was okay. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. Ever since the day I pushed Jack when Cenrid left, I’d been having nightmares about hurting him. I jogged down the staircase quietly and then slowly opened Jack’s door. He was sound asleep in his bed with his lips slightly parted. Moonlight streamed through his window and fell onto his beautiful face making it glow in the most angelic way. The tears continued as I questioned how I could’ve ever hurt this beautiful person. I took a breath and moved forward, a bit of his hair was flopped over his face so I gingerly ran my fingers through his locks and pushed them away from his face.

I love you.

Was the only thought in my mind. I loved every bit of him, from his body to his person. He was so shy in the most adorable way and his big eyes were always filled with so much emotion it was like you could take one look at him and feel what he was feeling. He had this thing about him that made me more alert whenever he was in the room because my mind wanted to observe every move he made. I wanted to understand him but I knew I never would.

I didn’t care about the laws. I didn’t care about having an heir. All I cared about was having a future with him and I had it all planned out. Once I become king, my heir will be the child of my cousin (she is married to a duke so normally her children wouldn’t come into much power). Jack will rule alongside me and we will grow old and happy together. I’d even added it to my will that if I should die before my time, the throne should be passed to Jack until he sees fit to step down.
My heart had stopped pounding and the tears had stopped falling now that I’d registered that he was alright. I didn’t want to leave him but I knew I had to so I placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and reluctantly left.

---

I went about my duties as normal with a light heart because Alex told me he wanted to meet me by the creek. Once I’d gotten everything done, I hopped on my horse and cantered down to the location. Once there, I smiled at the bittersweet memories of Lisa and I coming here. The leaves rustled and crunched beneath my feet as I stepped.
“Alex?” I called.
“Over here.” He replied. I walked in the direction of his voice. Then I saw him. He was stood by the water, looking at it flow.
“Why’d you meet me here?” I asked once I was close to him.
“I wanted to give you something.” He said. Curiosity filled me as he told me to close my eyes. I did as he said and I felt him grasp my hand then slide something cold into my finger. I opened my eyes to see a silver ring.
“Alex.” I breathed. It was a simple ring but it was absolutely beautiful.
“One day that’ll be a gold one.” He smiled. I wished he could see his face because he was grinning like a fool and honestly this moment could've lasted forever just as long as I was with him.

This was the moment. The words were on the tip of my tongue, I could finally say what I’d been feeling since the moment I met him but I couldn’t bring myself to speak them. I couldn’t because once I did, that’s when everything would become real. The doubts I possessed about anyone ever really caring about me would overtake me. Once I said those three deadly words, the impending threats would become real ones and I didn’t think we’d stand a chance out there so I just kissed him. He smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around my waist and holds me close like he always does. I felt him run his tongue along my bottom lip, asking for entrance but I decided to be a tease and keep my lips clamped shut. His lips left mine and moved to my neck. He immediately found my soft spot and started sucking on it making me moan and tangle my fingers in his hair. I was so lost in his touch that I didn’t realize that he had been distracting me until his tongue was in my mouth. I mentally rolled my eyes and battled his tongue for dominance. He’d tricked me into it, so I was determined to win but of course he did. To my disappointment, he broke the kiss.
“As much as I’d love to make out with you in the woods and maybe wind up with a blow job,” His choice of words made me blush, “we have to get back.” He spoke, his lips still very close to mine. I groaned in frustration and pecked his lips once more before we rode very slowly back to castle while talking about whatever we wanted to talk about because we knew that once we got back, we’d have to hide and I’d have to keep him a daydream away.

Notes

Title Cred: Daydream Away by All Time Low

awwwwwww