We Were Born To Lose

“Jack?” Alex asked, he sounded like a scared little boy.
“Yes?” I replied, putting the last of his clothes in his drawer.
“I-I um. It’s like- I want you to know…That um-”
“What?” I cut him off.
“You know I’m not good with…This.” He motioned between us.
“Yeah.” I said.
“Um. Well, I’m just sorry. I’m angry because…This is illegal, I’m stressed because of the impending enemies, I’m always so fucking worried about your safety, from both me and from Cenrid, and I know that’s just a bunch of excuses and you don’t deserve those and they certainly don’t justify anything I’ve done but I want you to know I’m so, so sorry and you don’t deserve a master like me and I don’t deserve you and I hate myself for hurting you because I just really fucking-“ He stopped himself and his eyes widened. He almost said it. He almost shattered everything. We both knew as long as we didn’t admit our feelings, there was a chance that they’d go away. But the second he says those three words, I knew I’d be hooked. I knew that once I heard that admission, there would be no turning back and I knew that I’d never be able to let him go and he almost ruined it. I swallowed and put my hand on his cheek.
“I know.” I whispered and he kissed me gently because he was afraid to shatter everything. This was a kiss of apologies, a kiss of affection, a kiss of healing, and a kiss of desperation because neither of us can have what we so desperately need.

Notes

Title cred: Daydream away by All Time Low

(I'll probably update again tonight)

This chapter was so difficult to write because I want to show that Alex cares about Jack but I don't want to betray his charector. I think I did okay.

I'm not sure if this was a happy or sad chapter...Comment what you think, what you want to happen, what you think is going to happen, you can yell at the characters if you want, or yell at me for making things difficult.