Kiss and Sell

Alex was bullied by a couple of boys named Josh and Oliver. He assumed they were jealous or just mad because he either fucked one of their girlfriends or boyfriends, or he just plain out refused to fuck them. Whatever the reason may be -they bullied him a lot. It was mostly just them pushing him around in the hall, calling him names, and beating him up sometimes. It wasn't something that Alex hadn't experienced before -it just reminded him of his ex.

His ex -after stalking him and beating the shit out of Alex so hard he actually passed out -caused Alex a whole lot of anxiety. Alex had already had panic attacks pretty bad before that, but then he grew a little paranoid as well. He was scared to walk alone anywhere (he still kind of is) even if it was just down the street. For a long, long time he needed anyone to go everywhere with him. He still got really uncomfortable when he was alone even if he was just sitting in his bedroom. Usually, he called Jack to feel a little at ease if he had nowhere to go or even went in the living room with his parents and sat which you could say was really desperate. If he had no way to contact anyone or was in situations where he didn't know anyone even the littlest he'd have panic attacks which usually led to passing out or crying and suddenly being very volatile.

Once he actually hurt a girl very badly because she was trying to help him when he was crying and he had no idea who she was. She had freaked him out by grabbing his arm when he tried to get away from her and ended up punching her in the face and tried to do so repeatedly because he couldn't stop himself nor knew what in the world he was even doing he was so freaked out. When she had tried to stop him again he bit her arm and wouldn't let go until someone dragged him off her. She had to get stitches and he heard that he broke her nose and jaw.

Alex had to go to a mental institution for awhile and was given therapy sessions after it which was really the only reason he stopped needing someone at all times with him for a while, but Josh and Oliver brought back horrible memories. They triggered his anxiety that he hadn't had in months. He would go back to therapy because the doctor had given him pills that actually helped, but his parents wouldn't pay for treatment and he had only gotten those few sessions free because the nut house had paid for it.

Usually, Alex was fine with walking to class, but a lot of the time he had Jack with him or Evan and Danny. He wasn't scared when his friends were around. But today something was different. Probably because he could feel eyes on him. They sent chills over his spine. He wasn't sure if they were even real. He could just feel them. He wanted to tell himself he was being paranoid but then he turned and saw Oliver and Josh watching him from his place in the hall with Zack and their little group he had grown a liking to. He had actually made a few friends from it, one being a boy named Rian who said he was actually kind of friends with Jack. Alex didn't know Jack had friends, but apparently he did. Rian was the same age as him and Jack so he had a few classes with him and talked to him in some of them. He seemed really nice. The two boys were waiting for him to make his move -leave the group and be stuck alone -or follow away for as long as he could until he was left by them. Either way he was getting his ass beat.

He could just ask Rian to walk him to class, but he really didn't know if Rian would even help him if it was just the two of them. He didn't know him that well and even though he seemed nice he had no idea if he would protect him. He fucking needed Jack, but the kid was late to school as always. Alex's small group of newly gained friends began to disperse -only a few hanging around before the bell rang because they didn't really mind being late or had close classes. Soon, though, Alex was pretty much the only kid left in the hallway. He could see Oliver and Josh itching closer and closer -the halls becoming slowly vacant -when Jack walked up -blocking his view of the two that Alex had locked in a terrified trance. He blinked and looked up to the taller boy as he unlocked his locker Alex had purposely been waiting by.

The main reason Alex had been waiting for Jack, as embarrassing as it sounds, was because he really,really had to use the bathroom and was too embarrassed to ask anyone but Jack or Danny to come with him because they were really the only ones that knew about Alex's anxiety. He could have asked Danny, but the kid was a nerd and had ran off with Evan to get to class early to finish their project early or something. Alex had rolled his eyes when the both of them left -silently cursing Danny for not realizing how fidgety he had been all morning. Alex hadn't said anything, but usually Jack noticed when he was jittery -he kind of assumed the same from Danny, but apparently not.

He moved to look around Jack where Oliver and Josh had been standing, but saw the hall cleared. He could relax only slightly after that -still kind of worried they'd jump out at any moment if he left Jack's side that he pretty much pressed himself into. Jack -after finally unlocking his locker he rarely used -glanced over as he grabbed his packet of cigarettes from the inside. He didn't bother to grab any books -he never used them anyways. He could see how Alex wrung his hands together nervously and how his wide eyes searched the halls with his head slightly bowed. He glanced around -searching all the same places as Alex because he knew what to look for and said, "I don't see them."

Alex simply nodded -stepping a little closer if it was possible. He wasn't facing Jack's locker like Jack, but the hallway so he pressed his back against the locker beside Jack's and mumbled, "Well, they were here a minute ago." He glanced at Jack's locker's door -nothing taped to it like most other kids -not even graffiti on the inside. It was just the same blue paint as every other locker in the entire school. Alex looked up -noticing a glint in Jack's hair when the light caught the diamond stud perfectly as the raven haired boy continued to search through his locker -probably for more cigarettes or something else he could have possibly left inside -and squinted at it. He stared at Jack for a long time -trying to put two and two together, and when he finally did he squealed, "Jack! You got your ear pierced!"

He grabbed his face and pulled him down to his level -not that it was that far down -and examined the earring by moving Jack's hair and touching the earlobe to prove that there was, in fact, a hole and the ring was all the way through the cartilage there. Jack hissed in pain as he cried, "Easy! They're still sore!" as he tried to push Alex away who moved away slowly. Jack rubbed the side of his head as he shot Alex a glare that could kill as Alex stared at him again. He glanced over -cocking an eyebrow as he said, "Is there a problem, Gaskarth?"

"N-no! I just... I didn't think you could possibly get any hotter than you already are but somehow you managed." He said -watching Jack stick his head in his locker -probably hiding his blush as he muttered, "Shut up." Alex smiled a little. It was pretty cute how easily he could make Jack blush. He had come to terms, pretty much, with admitting he liked Jack. He would admit it sober if it ever came up. Jack was caring, one of the first people who actually showed that towards Alex in his entire life, and that's all Alex ever really wanted. He'd never admit that, but all his life all he's really wanted was someone who'd care. He'd hide it with fucking whoever he could, acting like he didn't care when people betrayed him like Lisa and hurt his feelings or was bullied, and pretending the fact that his parents treated him like he was worthless didn't effect him in anyway, but he'd never be able to hide it with Jack. He liked how he always stuck around. He wanted him to stick around. He bit his lip, "Why'd you get them?"

"I was bored." Jack muttered from inside his hiding place.

"Did you do it yourself?" Alex asked. He had seen someone pierce their own ear before. They actually did it with a candy cane. As unrealistic as that sounded it was true. They sucked on it until it was sharp at the end and shoved it right through their ear. The rest of it that hadn't been sucked to a slim point stretched the ear as they slid it completely through and out -so they pretty much gaged their ear as they pierced it and put tapers in it afterwards. He saw it at one of his many parties and thought it was completely ridiculous for a guy to ever pierce their ear. Obviously he thought wrong. He saw Jack shake his head and quickly said, "Well, they look good on you. Really good."

Jack ignored the compliment in favor of asking something that had been on his mind since yesterday. he had been really worried that Alex had been avoiding him because Alex just didn't like people and Jack still didn't know if he had even meant it, but it seemed Alex couldn't even remember. Jack didn't know if he wanted him too. Still, he wanted make sure Alex wasn't avoiding him. Of course, if he had been he probably wouldn't be standing there talking to Jack at the moment like nothing was different. He sucked in a breath of air and asked, "Where were you yesterday?"

"Stayed home. I was hungover." Alex shrugged. He watched Jack seem to relax a little -as if he had soothed some kind of worry with his answer and asked, "I talked to you the night before, didn't I?"

"Yeah, completely shit faced... I just thought you're dad would make you go or something. I thought he was strict." Jack said softly -avoiding the conversation that was surely going to come. Alex denying that he had ever said he liked him. He figured it'd be soon. He didn't know which was worst -actually talking about it and going through a very painful, awkward conversation he'd only end up hurt from in the end, or not talking about it at all.

"Nah, Peter don't care." Alex dismissed that with a wave of his hand -still occasionally glancing around. It was true, Peter didn't care about what Alex did anymore. Alex could be gone for weeks and his parents would never know the difference. In fact, Alex was barely even home anymore. There were times he'd be there for a few minutes or hours, but leave and spend the night at someone's house -usually a fuck buddy's after sex -and wouldn't come home in the morning -would just go to school in his dirty clothes. He tried to stay away from the place for as long as he could, and no one asked him about it nor cared, so he just did it.

"He did when you were younger." Jack retorted -looking down at Alex's wrists. The bruises were healing from the last time he saw them -three days ago. He was glad to see the purplish color fading to a slightly normal color. He could see another faded bruise on Alex's arm -one Alex pulled the sleeve of his t-shirt over when he noticed Jack looking at it. Jack hated seeing those bruises, and Alex sort of knew he did. He always tried to hide them -not because he actually cared if anyone saw or was ashamed he got the crap beat out of him by his dad -he just didn't like to see that face Jack gave him. It was a face that said Jack pitied him, and he really hated that.

"Because I wasn't eighteen and he could be thrown in jail for me not going to school and would have to pay fines. He don't give a fuck anymore, Jack. I'm telling you, he's different now that I'm eighteen." Alex huffed. He had been telling Jack for nearly a year that Peter was no longer what he used to be. He abused him more now, but it was differently. Alex didn't know how to explain it. Before it was just a slap or a spanking, but now it was like Peter was fighting him instead. It was rare in the sense when he'd do it, but more in the sense of how.

"Whatever." Jack muttered.

Alex glanced around again -suddenly the pain in his bladder returning -and pulled at Jack's sleeve of his leather jacket to grab his attention from inside the locker. Jack pulled out of the locker to look over at him as he began to whimper a little and cross his legs. He just needed to convince Jack to go to the bathroom with him and he'd be okay. Jack stared at him for a minute -admiring the way his hair fell over his face perfectly and framed his big, brown eyes -the blond strands that flawlessly intermingled with his natural brown ones seeming to bring out his pale skin and punctuate the gold that flecked his irises. Alex tried pouting a little -he was that desperate -which had Jack's eyebrow arching up again as Alex ignored the weird look and whined, "I have to go to the bathroom, Jay-Jay."

Jack was even more surprised to hear the nickname. Alex only called him Jay-Jay when he really needed or wanted something -well, when he was sober at least. He really didn't even call him Jay when he was sober which kind of disappointed Jack when he thought about it because he really liked the nickname as silly of one it was. It was something only Alex, and occasionally his mother, called him. It always made him feel butterflies in his stomach and Alex justknewhow to use it against him in the perfect ways.

Jack knew why Alex was telling him he had to go. Still, he adverted his eyes from the elder who was now grabbing his hand and playing with his fingers in all the right ways to further encourage Jack to take him to the bathroom, and grumbled, "Why are you telling me? Just go." Making Alex whine because he knew Jack knew why and was just making it difficult while tugging on his hand and saying, "No, I can't. You know I can't. Please, Jay, I'm... I'm really scared." He sighed. Jack looked up at him -knowing Alex wouldn't admit that unless he was really desperate which meant right now he would stand there and piss himself if Jack didn't come with him -that's how scared the poor boy was.

Alex could see the sympathy cross Jack's usually blank face -the pain of seeing Alex so worked up in his eyes. Alex was almost sure his heart fluttered at the fact Jackcaredso much. He was just so different from everyone else. Alex couldn't help wanting to lean up and kiss the boy's face as it retorted to pity for him which he absolutely hated to see on his face -hoping he'd be able to kiss the look away and make Jack smile for once -but he pushed those thoughts and feeling down -knowing Jack didn't feel the same anyways.

"Josh and Oli are fucking pussies. If you'd just punch them in the face like I've been telling you to do they'd leave you alone, 'Lex." Jack growled as he turned back to his locker -trying to hide his face because he hated how Alex was looking at him. He hated seeing Alex look so innocent and scared. He hated that Josh and Oliver made him look at him like that -desperate for Jack to protect him because he was so scared he couldn't even fucking walk and use the bathroom on his own. Jack knew that if he had just beat the shit out of Alex's ex when he got the chance when they were younger -none of this would have ever happened to Alex -and Jack felt guilty he didn't protect Alex like how he should have back then. Alex did a weird little dance thing -well it wasn't really a dance -he was just lifting his feet really high and letting them fall down to do some kind of jump-skip thing. It was meant to show his annoyance in not being able to find the right words to explain why that plan wouldn't work while still trying to persuade Jack he really had to pee and needed him to come with him. Jack cocked an eyebrow at it -waiting for the boy to explain his actions but all Alex did was whimper and say, "I can't! Just come with me, Jay-Jay, please!"

Jack groaned and rolled his eyes. Though, the fact that he boy trusted him so much to protect him made him feel good and wasn't actually all that exasperated with having to practically be his body guard. He nodded a little and Alex grinned as their once laced fingers were dropped to allow Jack to close his locker and turn before Alex grabbed at his hand again. Jack moved, though, shoving his hand in his pocket and making Alex advert his eyes and bow his head a little in pain. He quickly led Jack to the nearest bathroom -the bad boy huffing pretty much the whole way but keeping his eyes open for anyone that could post a threat as he did despite acting like he was so irritated by the chore of keeping Alex safe.

He didn't know why he acted that way. Maybe if he didn't act like it was so much work for him Alex would like him like how he wanted him to like him. He still assumed Alex had meant it differently -sexually -when he told him he liked him, but wondered if he could change it.

Alex quickly ran to a urinal -practically skidding into the wall of them as he unzipped his pants. Jack stood closer to the two stalls that were lined against the other side of the bathroom -the sinks being beside them as well that he sat on as he waited. He turned his face away to look at the over flowing trashcan -adverting his eyes from Alex as they waited for him to pee -but the steady stream never came and Alex was whimpering and bouncing on his toes before saying, "I can't! I can't with you just standing there. You have to pee with me or something."

"I'm not doing that. I'll just wait outside." Jack offered as he hopped down from his spot on the sink he probably shouldn't ever sit on.

"No, no, no. What if they are in here?" Alex cried -continuing to face the urinal because he kind of had his dick out and everything and didn't want Jack to see it. Not that he was embarrassed by it or anything -he just didn't want Jack to see it until he saw Jack's. It was like a rule for him.

Jack sighed as he crossed his arms over his chest and said, "'Lex, we are the only ones in here. The stales are empty. There's not really anywhere else they could possibly hide." He reasoned.

Alex shook his head, "They could be in the ceiling." He cried -looking up as if they'd jump down from their hiding place in a matter of minutes. He whined as he felt his bladder practically exploding -his guts twisting as it got even more painful to hold the piss in any longer, "Please, Jack. I really have to pee and I can't if you leave or if you just stand their looking at me and making this awkward, just please."

Jack groaned, "Me standing there taking a fucking piss with you will make this awkward! That's as awkward as this gets, Alex!"

"Jack!" Alex cried. He could feel tears pricking at his eyes. He really didn't know why he was about to cry -maybe because he was in pain and scared and he was just getting emotional. He began squirming around again -looking from Jack to the urinal beside his until finally Jack groaned and stepped over to it. Alex sighed a little -feeling a bit accomplished -and waited silently for Jack to begin to pee. He wasn't just going to let Jack stand there and pretend or something.

Jack was looking down at his dick, though -ignoring Alex completely -and examining his piercing. Alex was waiting with his eyes closed while Jack was remembering how the last time he peed it stung a little and leaked so he had to sit down. He kind of hoped he didn't have to sit this time. Alex huffed and Jack muttered, "Shut the fuck up." as he tried to force himself to piss. When Alex heard Jack pissing he began and surprisingly finished before the taller boy which meant he glanced over because he was curious about a part of Jack he had never seen before which meant he had to take a double take.

"Jack?" He said as he pretty much stared his penis down. Jack looked down and back up as Alex open and closed his mouth at least twice before asking, "Is your-"

"No!" Jack cried making Alex break out into a cheeky grin -Jack pushing his dick back in his boxers and zipping his pants up as he shook his head and walked over to the sinks -Alex following as he said, "You got your-"

"No!"

"I saw-"

"No!"

"Jack, I-"

"No!" Jack cried once again as he pushed the boy back with his wet hands and walked out of the bathroom -Alex following as he stifled his giggles while saying, "I can't believe you-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Jack hissed as he pushed Alex against a wall while grabbing the collar of his shirt as he growled, "I swear to god if you say one more goddamn word about it I will fucking kick your ass, and then I'll let Josh and Oli beat your ass too."

Alex noticeably tensed at that. Jack's harsh words caused him to nod -tears welling in his eyes because he couldn't believe Jack would just give him over that easily. Actually, he could. He was used to friends betraying him, why would Jack ever be different? But that was just it, Jack was supposed to be different. Jack released him slowly -pulling away as he muttered, "I didn't mean that." before sighing and looking down at Alex who nodded a little with his head bowed, "You just make me so mad sometimes -it slipped out." He said softly. Alex nodded again and Jack groaned a little as he bit his lip in irritation at his own self and bowed his head in shame. He looked at Alex's hand hanging limply at his side and grabbed it a little like how Alex had him -letting his thumb run over his knuckles as he slipped his fingers into Alex's palm.

Alex looked down at their hands and moved his hand to lace their fingers together as they began to walk. He squeezed Alex's fingers in apology though he'd never say it out loud, and Alex squeezed them back in forgiveness. They were silent for a long time -their tension dissolving into a comfort they'd never really felt together before, before Alex quietly ruined it by asking, "Did it hurt?"

Jack face-palmed himself making Alex smile a little and giggle as Jack nodded and grumbled, "Yeah, it fucking hurt. It still does." his head bowing as he tried to hide his blush Alex could see brightening his cheeks. Alex moved closer -free hand moving to be placed on Jack's bicep as he said, "I would've never thought you'd do something like that."

Jack shrugged, "It's supposed to make sex feel better." He admitted -as if that was the only reason he got it.

"Thought you didn't kiss anyone." Alex reminded.

"I don't."

"So why do you care if it makes sex better?" Alex asked -stopping because he didn't quite want to go to class yet and making Jack stop and turn to look at him -hands being dropped now that they were okay again. He titled his head a little -bangs falling over his eyes that Jack just wanted to reach up and swipe away -but Alex did so by himself -tucking some of it behind his ear only to have it too short and fall back down to cover his eye again.

"Who said I don't have sex?" Jack argued -seemingly too offended Alex thought he didn't have sex which was weird because, of course he had sex, right? "You don't have to kiss people to have sex. I thought out of anyone you would know that."

"Well, yeah..." Alex said as he looked down at his feet and shrugged, "I just thought maybe you had sex with your girlfriend or something... You'd have to kiss her." Honestly, Alex hoped Jack was dating someone. Then he'd know Jack didn't like him because he wasn't someone who cheats. But Jack simply ruined that hope by muttering, "I'm not dating anyone." which made Alex's heart shatter.

"Oh..." Was all he said. It hurt. Really hurt. Sure, Jack always acted like a total dick that really didn't like Alex and had told him plenty of times, but Alex thought maybe their was a tiny bit of admiration in him somewhere for the elder. He always thought maybe that was why Jack stuck around. He secretly liked him and now that Alex was coming to terms that he secretly (but not so secretly) liked him back that maybe they could do something about it. Of course, Alex wasn't going to change much, but enough, right? He kind of assumed it was better this way -though his heart seemed to be ripping itself apart in his chest and tears were pricking at his eyes yet again that day. Alex knew Jack wouldn't be able to control him is why he thought it was better. Alex wouldn't be who Jack wanted. He'd want someone loyal -who'd only lay with him at night -and Alex wanted other things. He wanted sex and alcohol and drugs. He'd want things Jack wouldn't and that wasn't fair to Jack.

Jack didn't know why Alex suddenly looked so hurt so he simply shrugged and said, "Let's go to class."

Notes

Can't say much about this except its long and boring Dx