Kiss and Sell

Jack more or less was bored. Being bored and having practically nothing to do always seemed to end in him over-thinking, and over-thinking always seemed to lead to being depressed. Needless to say, Jack was depressed at the moment. He didn't know what it really was, to be honest. He didn't have anything to really be sad about. He just felt... Numb, and a bit helpless. The nothingness inside of him just ate at his want to not hurt himself again. He told himself he deserved the pain. He didn't know why his thoughts were the way they were, but they were relentless. Not even the thought of Alex coming over could dulled them.

He had learned his lesson with cutting. There was no doubt in his mind that he would never cut that deep again, but the addiction of hurting himself just couldn't be quit, even after nearly losing his life from it. Being depressed made Jack feel sick. He wouldn't eat during those times, wouldn't talk, and barely moved from his spot sunken deep in the mattress of his bed with blankets thrown over him and his laptop cradled to his chest with music playing through his ear buds.

Alex didn't understand what the point of his boyfriend's cocoon was and why he was wrapped deeply in it and refusing to come out. Jack didn't want to talk, he didn't want to make out, and he didn't want to cuddle and it was making Alex feel neglected the second he walked in which was about five minutes ago. Despite this feeling Alex could tell something was wrong and that he shouldn't bother his boyfriend anymore than he already had, instead he scooted into the bed and pulled the blankets over his head to look at Jack's laptop with him. He was looking at colleges which seemed to be something he always did since his parents had been complaining to him about applying early. Jack hated college. He just wanted to join a band, not do whatever normal people did with their stupid lives and stupid educations. Still, Jack knew he'd have to choose something sooner or later. Maybe he'd do something with music besides becoming a big time rock star. Maybe he'd become a teacher. Those who can't, teach, right?

Alex pulled the laptop from Jack's arms to scroll through his page while Jack sighed and curled further into himself. Despite there being no words exchanged between the two Jack knew Alex was silently questioning what was wrong with him. He wasn't sure what to tell him. Alex pulled an ear bud from his ear to place in his own and instantly began humming along to the music.

"Who is this?" Alex asked. Jack looked up at him like he had grown a second head. He sat up and pulled the earphones out of the jack while turning to Alex and whispering, "You don't know who Blink 182 is?"

Alex shrugged, "I've never heard of them. Is that who was playing? Their name is stupid, but I like that song, what was it called?" He asked, curiously looking down at Jack's playlist.

"Stupid? Stupid? Blink 182 is the best fucking name ever invented." Jack defended, snatching his computer from Alex to turn on another song, "How dare you insult the greatest band ever assembled."

Alex rolled his eyes, "I don't know about greatest, but they're okay." He shrugged.

"What do you listen to then?" Jack asked, "What could possibly be better than Blink?"

"Uh, Madonna? I mean, have you heard her new album? What could possibly beat Living for Love?"

Jack looked like he was about to pass out, "Madonna?!" He cried, "Madonna?! Are you fucking kidding me??? Alex???? Madonna?!"

Alex frowned, "Madonna." He nodded.

"Madonna? Like the Madonna??"

Alex hesitated, "Uh... Yeah?"

"Oh my god." Jack whispered, "No. If you are going to be my boyfriend you listen to Blink 182." He said while pushing the laptop closer to Alex and clicking on What's My Age Again?. Alex instantly began humming as he listened closely to the song. So it was pretty good and maybe a little better than Madonna, but he still loved his girl and just because Jack was convincing him that Blink 182 didn't totally suck ass doesn't mean he wasn't going to stop listening to her all together. Jack said as long as Blink was his priority he could live with that decision.

After showing him multiple bands Alex suddenly decided, "I like Fall Out Boy."

"Fall Out Boy?" Jack asked before nodding, "Sure. They're cool."

Alex thought for a moment before typing in the band in Google. They weren't bad a bad looking group of guys. Alex might have instantly developed a crush on the little band, especially Pete Wentz.

"What's that ones name?" He asked as he pointed to it.

"Hell if I know." Jack shrugged, "I just like their music."

Alex hummed as Jack continued to show him a few more bands. Alex listened to the music he played until he finally asked, "Why were you all depressing when I came in?"

Jack shrugged and clicked on American Idiot, "I was just tired."

"Were you?" Alex asked. Jack looked into Alex's eyes and instantly Alex knew he didn't want to talk about it but was right. Jack was depressed when Alex got there. Alex felt something he usually didn't feel with people. Normally he'd avoid situations like this where he'd have to comfort someone, where he'd have to talk about emotions and try to help someone through something, but with Jack he felt as if he had to do it. He had to be there for him. He had to help him in whatever was wrong. He scooted closer to his boyfriend who had averted his gaze back to the computer and mumbled, "You know you can, like, tell me anything, right?"

"I know." Jack said shortly, still paying more attention to the laptop than Alex who frowned as he watched his boyfriend fidget. Jack would love to pour his heart out to Alex, but he didn't think Alex would understand. Alex's life was rough as it is. Having no problems, yet feeling like the entire world was on your shoulders would make no sense to the elder and Jack knew that. Alex just wouldn't understand and Jack didn't need someone who didn't understand probing him about feelings. He'd just get over it himself like he always did. That's what he told himself.

Notes

theres smut somewhere in this booty of mine and one day I will bring it out for kiss and sell \o/ that day is not today.