It's now the day of the showcase. They moved the date to a Saturday, instead of after school. Me and Alex just haven't been the same. I'm still pretty upset with him, and he's seemed pretty upset about the whole situation, but I wouldn't know. I never see him.
All week, he's been practicing nonstop with Lisa. I couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to start staying over at Hayley's for the past few days. I'm gonna have to stop soon, though. I can tell that I'm really getting on her nerves. Well her and Jack's nerves, anyway.
Jack likes to "sleep over" when Hayley's parents aren't home, but with me here, there's really nothing they can do. Well they could, but that would be absolutely gross and unacceptable and I'd probably never speak to them again if they did that while I was here.
Uggh..
I shuddered at the thought, as I sat down on her leather sofa, and drank my coffee.
I was turning on the TV, when Jack and Hayley walked into the living room wearing tee shirts and sweats, smiling at each other. It made my stomach flip.
That reminds me of how me and Alex would wake up every morning. Greeting each other with lazy kisses, joking around, and giggling like idiots. How I would throw on his clothes, and we'd walk downstairs into the kitchen, and I'd make us breakfast, and we'd eat, then cuddle on the couch, and..
"Tay! Taaayyy! Hello??" Hayley interrupted my thoughts.
I shook my head and blinked.
"Huh? What?"
"Ugh! I've been trying to talk to you for like, five minutes!!" Hayley groaned, rolling her eyes.
"Oh, I'm sorry..what is it?"
"Tay..we're worried about you." Jack said in a fatherly voice, wrapping his arm around Hayley's shoulders.
"Yeah..you and Alex are having all these issues, and it's stressing you out.." Hayley started again.
"And when it stresses you out, it stresses us out!" Jack overdramatically placed his hand over his heart, earning an elbow to the ribs, from Hayley.
"Ouch!"
Hayley rolled her eyes at him, then turned her attention back to me.
"Tay, you can't keep letting this whole Lisa situation effect you like this..she's taking control of your life, and that isn't okay!"
"Whoa whoa whoa. Okay, stop. Is..is this an intervention??" I eyed them both suspiciously.
"Yes. Tay, you know that admitting the problem is the first step towards repair, we all recover!" Jack teased, leaning forward in his seat. (A/N: Sorry. Had to xD)
"Ugh. You guys..I'm touched that you guys are sitting here to give me this talk, but you really didn't have to. If you want me to leave after tonight, I'll go. It's no problem." I reassured them.
"THANK YOU!" Jack praised in relief, earning a small slap from Hayley.
"Tay, it's not that we want you to leave, it's just.." Hayley started with an apologetic expression.
"No no, I get it. You need your alone time, and I'm being an unwanted bum." I shrugged.
"Tay..I really am worried about you. I don't wanna watch my best friend fall apart over all this. After tonight, he won't even have to practice with her anymore. It'll all be over, and you won't have to worry about it anymore! That's good, right?"
"No..I'm sure it won't change the fact that she'll be all over him every chance she gets. She just won't quit, and I can't handle it without blowing up and annoying Alex. I just...don't know what to do." I sighed in defeat.
"What you should do, is tell that bitch to fuck off, and then go fuck Alex, cause you've been shutting him out lately, and he won't quit complaining to me about how much he 'misses you' and 'feels like a douchebag' Jack mocked in a whiny voice, rolling his eyes.
"Wait..he said that to you?" I raised my eyebrows at him in disbelief.
"Yeah, he misses you, like..a lot. He won't fucking shut up about it!"
I blinked a few times, processing the information.
Alex misses me. He feels bad. And I can't help but feel the same. I miss him like crazy.
"So what do you say? You gonna fix things with him tonight?" Hayley asked, hopefulness evident in her voice.
I thought about it for a moment, before nodding with a small smile.
"Yeah, I think I will. I miss him too, ya know. I'd talk to him now, but he's probably out with Lisa, practicing non-stop." I rolled my eyes a bit.
"Well I wish the best of luck to you guys! I'm gonna go drop Jack off at Zack's so they can practice some before the show in a few hours. Wanna come with?" Hayley offered.
"Nah, I'll just stay here and chill. We can practice some too, once you get back."
"Alright! Snacks are in the kitchen! Later!"
Soon, they left, leaving me to sit on the couch, aimlessly surfing the channels on the TV.
I eventually gave up, and just settled for a rerun of House. It reminded me of Alex. He loves this show.
Maybe I should text him.. I thought.
I pulled out my phone, and clicked on his contact.

Me- Hey so...the showcase is in like 2 hours, and I won't see you before then, so I just wanted to say good luck tonite, I'm sure you'll do great! I miss you, & I'm sorry about all this btw. Hope you're having fun. <3

I felt anxious about the message, the second after I sent it. I sat there, staring at the screen, nervously waiting for a response.
Five minutes felt like five hours, when he finally replied.

Alex- Thanks, good luck to You & Hayley! I hope you're having fun too, I've missed you babe :( <3

I sighed, and responded.

Me- I know, I just...needed time to clear my head. I don't want anything like that to ruin us, lex. <3
Alex- Nothing could ever ruin us. I love you :* But I've gotta go, we're gonna practice some more. I'll see you tonight?
Me- See you :*

I sighed with content, glad that I had worked things out with Alex. I instantly felt more confident about the showcase, knowing that I'd get to run into Alex's arms again, and I wasn't going to let Lisa get in the way of it! Alex makes me happy, and she isn't going to ruin that!! I'm ending this battle once and for all.

---

The time of the showcase had arrived, and Me and Hayley stood backstage in our matching blue dresses; our hair tied up in buns. I hadn't been able to find Alex anywhere, but I shrugged it off.
I'll just see him when he goes on, I guess.
We moved over to the wings, as Rian and that Cassadee girl, took the stage. We were set to go on after them, so my anxiety was racing a little bit. But I tried to stay calm when watching their beautiful performance.
"Oh my gosh, they would make such a cute couple!! Wouldn't they??" Hayley quietly squealed, not wanting to disturb their performance.
I looked at them from my side view. There was definitely some chemistry there.
"I think Rian likes her, but the investigating is your job!" I laughed, thinking about how she's definitely going to interrogate Rian later, like she had to me, all those months ago.
She nodded in agreement, and we just giggled, and turned back to watching the performance.
Then, Jack and Zack appeared behind us, with big smiles on their faces.
"Hey, baby!!" Hayley squealed, standing on her toes to kiss Jack.
"Hey, guess what?" He grinned at us both.
"What?" I gave him a puzzled look.
"Flyzik said a while back, that we can play for you guys, and get graded based on that, instead of a separate performance!"
"Oh my gosh! You're playing on stage with us?? You knew about it and kept it a secret till now?" Hayley squealed in excitement, as both Jack and Zack nodded.
"Wait..how do you know what chords to play?" I cocked my head in confusion.
"Hayley sang it for me plenty of times before, and we just wrote our music of off that." Jack grinned, proud of himself.
"Surprise!" Zack laughed.
Soon, Rian and Cassadee's performance was over, and the crowd was erupting in cheers. This meant that we were up next.
I began to feel anxious all over again.
What if I mess up? What if I forget the words? What if I lose my voice? What if I sound terrible?
My head began to hurt, with all the worried thoughts racing through it.
My palms were getting super sweaty, and my hands began to tremble.
"Tay? You alright? They're about to call us on stage.." Hayley gave me a concerned look.
In this situation, I just needed Alex. Everyone is here, but him. I needed him to wrap his arms around me, and tell me I'm gonna be okay, and kiss me, and turn my anxious nerves into butterflies. But I couldn't find him anywhere, and it was too late, because I heard Flyzik announce our names to the stage.
I just gave Hayley a tiny nod, and took a deep, shaky breath, wiping my sweaty palms on my dress.
"Let's do this." Hayley gave me a pat on the back, before we walked onto the stage, and stood behind our microphones.
Jack and Zack stood to the sides of us, waiting for us to count them in.
I took a deep breath, remembering the lyrics I wrote about Alex. The lyrics about us, along with my feelings about the Lisa situation.
I looked at Hayley, and she nodded, then counted in the guys with her fingers, before she began to sing the first verse.

I don’t even know you anymore
But I think you know
What you mean to me

I joined in.

Things will never be the way
They were before
I guess you can’t count on anything
And your brand new friends
They won’t care about you
When the party ends
They’ll leave you in the dark
Saying ohhh!
tell me where you’re hidin’
Ohhh!
I think it’s time to come back home

Hayley began to sing the next verse, and I began to get a bit more comfortable on stage. I just longed to know if Alex was here, listening.

You taught me everything I know
About poetry
I still pretend I know what it means

I took a deep breath, and joined in once again.

Remember picking out who we wanna be
Back when we didn’t know anything
And your brand new friends
They won’t care about you
When the party ends
They’ll leave you in the dark
Saying ohhh!
tell me where you’re hidin’
Ohhh!
I think it’s time to come back home

I turned to my right, and my breath hitched when I saw Alex standing in the wings, giving me a small smile.
I kept my eyes glued to him, as I sang my next solo verse.

Every night since you’ve been gone
I still leave the light on
I know it’s wrong, to wait so long
You say you’re getting on just fine
But you still stutter when you lie
I know you better
Tell me would you come back

Hayley began singing the chorus with me, and I turned back to face the crowd.

And your brand new friends
They won’t care about you
When the party ends
They’ll leave you in the dark
Saying ohhh!
tell me where you’re hidin’
Ohhh!
I think it’s time to come back home
Come back home
I think it’s time you come back home

We finished the song, and broke out into smiles as the crowd broke out into applause and cheers.
We all bowed, then walked back offstage.
"That was great, you guys!" Hayley jumped up and down in excitement.
"Heck YEAH it was!! That was fucking AMAZING! Did you hear the crowd?? WOW, MAN!" Jack cheered with her, the joy and adrenaline overcoming him as well.
I swear, those two are perfect for each other.
I turned around and accepted many high fives, before searching for Alex. I realized I'd found him, when I felt two arms wrap around my waist, and two lips pressing against my cheek.
I giggled and turned around in his arms, then gave him a hug.
"Alex! I was looking all over for you!" I smiled at him.
"Sorry, we practiced a little too late, and got stuck in traffic. I came as soon as I could! I'm really glad I got to see you, you did great!" He kissed my nose, causing me to grin even wider.
"Well, I'm glad you're here now!" I leaned in to give him a kiss, before we were interrupted my someone clearing their throat.
"Ahem! Alex! We're up next, come on!" Lisa grabbed his hand to pull him away towards the stage, not bothering to acknowledge me.
He looked back at me, giving me an apologetic look, as she dragged him away.
"Good luck!" I yelled after him, stepping into the wings side stage, to watch him as they walked onto the stage.
"Don't you know it's bad to tell someone good luck before they perform on stage?"
I turned around quizzically, to see Zack smirking at me.
"What?" I raised a brow at him.
"It's a superstition." He chuckled.
I shook my head and smirked.
"Alex never messes up."
"Huh, you're right. He sure doesn't.." Zack trailed off, as Alex began playing his acoustic.
He both watched intently, as he began to sing some song he wrote, called "The Girl's A Straight Up Hustler."

Lipstick has a way of leaving
more than just a mark on my sheets,
coloring my senses cherry red;
at least for this week...

Both me and Zack smiled, watching Alex play, getting lost in his perfect voice.
Lisa didn't sing much, she pretty much just provocatively danced around with her microphone, and occasionally went up to Alex to wrap her arms around his neck from behind him, or shake her butt on him as he was playing guitar.
This angered me a lot, but I just tried to stay calm, and focus on Alex's voice. Zack would occasionally give me worried glances, but I'd just sigh, and turn back to their performance.
Soon, they got to the bridge, and Lisa actually started to sing.

She gets what she wants and she breaks what she gets,
get out while you can or she'll tear you to pieces
(She gets what she wants and breaks what she gets, get out while you can or she'll tear you to pieces)
Are you having a good time sweetheart?

Lisa began doing cartwheels and splits as Alex sang the chorus, earning a roar of cheers from the crowd.
I rolled my eyes and grimaced at her desperation for attention.
You're a cheerleader, we get it. Alex is more talented than you, accept it.
She stopped her tumbling act, and began slowly walking towards Alex, as he sang the last line of the song.

Carry on home,
I'll be waiting miles and miles away,
leaving you to be forever seventeen,
cleaning up the messes that you've made.

Then, the unimaginable happened.
She grabbed his face, and pulled him in for a kiss, causing the crowd to go crazy.
My heart started beating out of my chest, but in a bad way. My breathed picked up, and I immediately turned away from the stage, and accidentally bumped into Zack.
"Shit, Tay, calm down..breathe!" He worriedly grabbed my arms and tried to calm me down.
I shook my head furiously, and wiggled out of his grip, then ran through the backstage area as fast as I could, feeling embarrassed from all the sympathetic and worried glances aimed my way by other people.
I ran outside into the chilly, night air, and didn't stop running when I heard someone calling my name and running after me. I didn't want to stop. I didn't want to be seen. I just wanted to be away from everyone and everything.
Nothing could ever reverse what I had seen, and nothing could ever reverse the pain and heartbreak I felt from seeing it.
I kept running and running, and found myself at a nearby park, lit up by the streetlights.
"TAY!!" The voice was still chasing after me, and I kept running, until I tripped over something on the ground, that I didn't notice in the dim lighting.
I fell to the ground on my side, and whimpered from the tiny pain of falling, along with the tears that were threatening to spill over from my sadness.
"Shit! Tay! Are you alright?!" The voice ran over, out of breath.
I looked up, and recognized the voice to be Alex, as he reached out his arms to help me up.
I swatted them away, and got up myself, shooting him a cold glare.
"Leave me the fuck alone, Alex!!"
"No! Tay, I'm sorry! What you saw back there..it wasn't real!"
"It wasn't real, Alex? It wasn't real? It looked pretty real to me! What? Was it your plan to share spit with Lisa at the end of your performance? To get the crowd all hyped? But how could they not have been, what with her dancing all over you like a fucking slut!!" I screamed at him, more upset than ever.
"No, Tay!! I didn't even know she was going to do that! I was just as surprised at you, I swear-"
"No, don't! Don't swear! Don't swear anything to me, because I just can't trust anything you say anymore! You promised me that nothing like that would happen, and that she wasn't anything to worry about! And that was a big fucking lie!!"
"You can't trust me? Because of something she did?? I didn't plan for this to happen! I didn't even think this whole project thing would be that big a deal!! And now, I'm suddenly a liar?? Wow..that's not even fair, Tay. That's not fucking fair.." He frowned, shaking his head.
"Well, maybe you didn't care about it at all, but it is a big fucking deal! And don't try to turn me into the bad guy!"
"Then don't turn me into the bad guy! I did NOTHING wrong! Come on, let's just calm down and go home, before you start saying something you're gonna regret.." He took my hand and tried walking in the other direction.
I yanked my hand out of his grasp, and pushed him away from me.
"NO!! The only thing I regret, is falling for your BULLSHIT, Alex!! You guys didn't even need to practice that much, she barely even sang anything!"
"So what? You think I was spending all that time cheating on you?! Do you have any trust in me at all, Tay??" He furrowed his brows at me in disbelief.
Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I looked up into the chestnut eyes I had grown to love and get lost in.
I took a deep breath, and said the words I had always dreaded I'd have to say, which I would most DEFINITELY regret later.
"Alex..you just don't get it. You don't understand how hard this has been on me! I-I can't do this. I can't compete with her. Maybe the showcase is over, but I know that she's going to continue trying this, and it just hurts way too fucking much and I can't take it anymore. I just can't. M-maybe you'll fall in love with her instead-"
"Tay, no-"
"And maybe, she'll fall in love with you too, I-I don't see why she wouldn't! Maybe she'll say it back! And maybe she'll make you a lot more happy and content than I did!"
"Tay, don't. Don't do this..you know that I love you, you know all that isn't true!" He begged, with a sorrowful and desperate look in his eyes.
I choked back a sob, and shook my head.
"I just don't wanna do this anymore, Alex." I choked, more tears flooding my eyes.
"So..that's it? You're just breaking up with me?" He looked astonished.
"Alex.." I whispered, my heart breaking more every second, silently begging him not to make this any harder than it already was.
Pain, anger, and sadness, all flashed through his eyes at once, and he turned around and punched the tree behind him with a string of curses.
"Alex!" I cried out to him, as his knuckles began to bleed.
"It doesn't matter.." He brushed me off, then looked me straight in the eye, and told me words that shattered my already broken heart into a million little pieces.
"Honestly, nothing could ever hurt more than you."
He stared into my eyes a second longer, before turning around and storming out of the park.
I watched him walk away, with anger in his step, clutching his bleeding fist, and soon, blending into the darkness as he got farther away.
I collapsed to the ground in a fit of sobs, feeling my world crumbling down underneath me, and feeling myself fall into the dark pit of sadness and the ocean of despair.
I lost the battle to Lisa.
I lost Alex.
I'm alone,
I'm stupid,
And I know, that I'll never be happy, ever again.

Notes

Aw :(((
I could hardly even write this chapter, it took a lot out of me! Like, I literally break my own heart </3 Leave it to me to make everything all cute, and then I just go and destroy it all..
Like the monster I am.
Roar.

And you know how I said there were 20 chapters left? I lied.
There's actually only 15 CHAPTERS LEFT IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN THIS TIME!!
Enjoy it while ya can...wait no, you can't enjoy it. Because I killed the Taylex. Oops. Dx
You all hate me, I'm sorry.

Thanks! :)

Title cred: Time-Bomb- All Time Low