Me Without You

I swallowed as Alex and I stared at each other. I had tried so hard, I made an effort not to fall back in with him. How was this even possible? It had been less than twelve hours and he already had me back kissing him. Zack turned to me and sighed.
“Go home. We love having you back, but right now you need to go home and sort your head out while I beat the shit out of Alex.” I looked between Alex and Zack before running through the hallway towards the front door.
“Woah! Jase?” Jack grabbed my arm and tilted my chin so he could look in my eyes. “Jase, what's wrong?” I burst into tears and leaned into Jack's chest. “I'll take you home okay? Give me your keys.” I pulled my keys out of my pocket and slipped them into Jacks hand as he led me out the house and towards my car. I practically fell into my passenger seat and curled up into a ball as Jack started up the car. He pressed the home button on my gps and followed the directions through the darkening Californian streets. We rode in silence, Jack looking over often, his face riddled with concern. Pulling up outside my apartment block Jack shut off the car and insisted on coming inside with me.
“Look, you can't be alone with all of this and you can't exactly speak to Mike if it's about what I think.” I sighed and got out of the car, leading Jack to the elevators. I gestured to the lock when we reached my door, Jack still had the keys. He unlocked my door and I threw my jacket across the back of my couch and kicked my shoes off haphazardly as I made a bee-line for my bed. I grabbed my pillow and cuddled myself up against the head board, Jack perching on the edge of the bed beside me. “You want to talk about it?” He sounded unsure.
“I- I don't know what to do, Jacky.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I chocked back sobs as Jack crawled up and pulled me into his chest. “It’s just, I finally managed to move away from the fear of dating anyone but Alex and he reappears. How am I meant to deal with that?” I took a breath and tried to calm myself. “And then he goes and kisses me? Like, seriously, how was that gonna help anything!?” Jack stiffened and his grip on my arms tightened. “Ow, Jack.”
“He kissed you?” He growled. I internally groaned. I swear, the old Alex-Zack-Jack rivalry over me was the last thing I needed to resurface.
“Just before I ran out. Zack pulled us apart.” I felt Jack's fingers twitch with anger and I knew exactly what he was going to say next.
“You kissed him back?”
“I couldn't help it. I tried, I really did.”
“For fucks sake, Jase. What about Mike? Lisa? Why can't you two just leave each other alone?” I pulled away to be able to look him in the eye. What the hell did he mean? “Seriously, all you do is tear each other apart. You've done it for years, each of you making the other unable to move on. And now that you both have, you bloody resurface and destroy it.” I gaped at Jack's outburst. “Alex had found Lisa who seems to make him reasonably happy, and you have Mike who is ecstatic you finally said yes. Both great relationships that will be torn apart by the pair of you being entirely unable to let the other go.” I scrunched up my nose at the truth in his words. Alex and I had the kind of relationship where you could be apart for a long time but still manage to find a way back to each other. “I just want to know why him? Why Alex? Of all of us, Alex.” I stayed silent. I really didn't have an answer for him. Jack nodded after I had been quiet for a while. “Exactly. Not even the pair of you know why you need each other so much.” I snorted at that. What a load of bullshit.
“He doesn't need me. If he needed me he wouldn't have cared about what my mother had said.” Jack smacked his hand into his face at my statement and groaned into a pillow.
“You have no idea how much hell Alex caused in the weeks following that. He looked all over Baltimore. No one knew where you were. He kept a photo of you in his wallet, dude.” My head snapped up and Jack couldn't help but laugh. “I'm pretty sure he still has it. And do you know how bloody sick we were of his thousand songs about you? Rian and Zack ended up torching the notebook he had written them in.” I giggled, the chorus for Jasey Rae running through my head.
“We might as well have released an album. ‘Alex's Jasey Angst'.” I cracked a smile and Jack clapped enthusiastically. “There's my smiley girl. I've missed her.” I slapped him on the chest before he scooped me up and lay me under the covers. He gave the top of my head a kiss and I felt like a toddler being tucked in by their parents. I reached out and grabbed his hand as he turned to leave and pulled him back to the bedside.
“Can you stay with me, Jack Jack?” He smiled and kicked off his shoes and pulled off his shirt, sliding in beside me. We instantly fell into our 'post-party cuddle' and I lay my head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around my waist to keep me close. It was funny how even after years apart you fall back into familiar routines with the people you love.

I smiled as I raised the pillow over my head and brought it smashing down on top of Jack's head. He shouted as he jumped out of my bed, his hair and utter mess and his jeans skewed on his hips.
“We slept in our clothes?” Jack raised an eyebrow. I nodded and threw his t-shirt to him. “Weird. We never slept with clothes on.” I chuckled as I straightened out the blankets on my bed.
“I didn't have a boyfriend.” It was true. When we were in high-school I was way too comfortable with the boys. Whenever we slept in the same bed we were always in underwear. They had all seen me in less over the years when I had been dared to go skinny dipping or lost at strip poker. “Boyfriend equals clothing Jack Attack.” He frowned and muttered about labels always ruining the fun. We made our way to the living room and cuddled up on the arm chairs to watch the highlights of the game the night before.
“You know, I think you and Mike make a good couple, all things considered.” I stared at Jack's out of the blue remark. “I mean, if you had never met Alex, you and Mike could have been perfect together. But Alex will always get in the way of that.” I shrugged and fiddled with Alex's bracelet.
I picked up my phone when it buzzed and smiled at the name.

From: Ick Vic
Hey pequeña, hope you're doing okay. You didn't come back to ours last night? Are you and Mike okay?
Te amo, chica. x

To: Ick Vic.
We're fine. Just had too much to think about. Spending the day with Jack, don't wait up.
Love you too xx

To: Mikey
Spending the day with Jack today, sorry I didn't come sleep in your bed last night :P
I'll see you tomorrow?

I threw a pillow over to pull Jack's attention from the screen.
“What do you want to do today?” I asked as I picked at my nails. They had been completely destroyed by my anxiety levels yesterday.
“As long as it involves food I am most definitely in.” Jack smiled as he flicked a text to someone. “Zack's not happy that I stayed here last night.” He laughed as he showed me the text.
“Oh, he can suck it up. It's not like he didn't get his fair share of half-naked Jasey nights while we were in high-school. He was the cuddliest drunk.” We both laughed at the memories of Zack dragging me from parties to cuddle with him while he slept.
“I'm hungry.” Jack whined as he flopped down on my lap. Crushing me. “Can we eat?”
“Taco Bell?” Jack's eyes lit up and he snatched up my car keys form the counter while I ran to my room to quickly change my clothes. I pulled on a pair of distressed shorts and a tank top before slipping on my black sandals and picking my purse up from the table.
“So now you've had a good night’s sleep,” Jack murmured as we pulled through the drive-thru. “What are you gonna do about the whole situation?” I sighed and took a sip of my coffee and Jack headed off to god-knows where.
“I'm staying with Mike. It's only fair that I give him a real shot. But,” I hung my arm out the window and let the warm breeze whip my hair about my face. “It's gonna be difficult to try forget Alex. Especially when we have to share a bus for three months.” Jack nodded as he wound through the streets. “Where exactly are we going?” I wondered as we headed further out of town. Jack simply smiled and turned into a long drive-way lined with short, blossoming trees. The house waiting at the end was simple enough. A two-story brick building with a wrap-around porch.
“Get out.” Jack laughed, but he kept the car on.
“You're not coming in?” I questioned. “Where even am I?” Jack just giggled and undid my seatbelt for me before leaning over me to open my door and push me onto the gravel.
“Have fun, Jase! Text me when you need picking up!” I shouted after Jack as he tore off down the drive-way, in my car. The door of the house clicked open and I whipped around to see where I had been abandoned. The familiar face looked just as confused as I did when they found me standing on their driveway.
“Why am I here?” I asked, walking towards the house, my purse clutched in my hand.
“Honestly? I have no idea.” Alex laughed as he guided me inside.

Notes

Okay so I have these chapters all ready to go and not posting them is bugging me... SO HAVE ANOTHER!
This one is rather long too actually.
Enjoy :) x