Me Without You

Alex POV

She sat cuddled in Jack's lap and I had to contain the urge to pull her from him and hold her against my chest, soaking in everything about her. I looked down to see a tattered old chord bracelet tied around her wrist, still there after all these years. I reached out and twisted it around her wrist, causing her to look up and bury her eyes into mine.
“You still have it.” I smiled at her and she rolled her eyes.
“Of course I do, it was the only thing I had left of you.” She whispered as she cuddled back into Jack's chest.
“We're doing nearly every state bar two or three so it's going to be a very full on tour. We have hardly any breaks and they're not very long so prepare yourselves. Three buses, two equipment vans and a two merch vans to cover all of us.” Matt went through his list to make sure he had covered everything. “That's about it. I'll see you all in Sand Diego on the 22nd of May for the first show and to take bets on how long it takes Alex to make a move on Jasey again.” The whole room burst into laughter except Mike and I who stiffened, even Jasey was laughing nervously. I looked over to Mike who had a glint in his eye, daring me to think about touching her. I leaned back in my seat while Matt handed out the itineraries.
“Wait, I'm running the meet and greets for both bands?” Jasey raised an eyebrow at Matt who nodded as he took a sip of his beer.
“Most of the fans will be there for both bands so the meet and greets are going to be twice as long but with both of the bands, double the people.” She sighed at how much work that sounded like and grabbed the list of times from Matt.
“More time with Alex.” Grecio winked at me and I flipped him off while Jasey's cheeks turned red.
“Okay, everyone shut the fuck up about the Alex-Jasey deal.” Mike raised his voice and opened his arms up, summoning Jasey back to him. She looked reluctant to leave her place with Jack but eventually walked across the room to her waiting boyfriend. My mind cringed at the word. Boyfriend. Jasey had a boyfriend who wasn't me.


“Dude. Calm down.” Zack sighed as I paced back and forth in Rian's lounge after everyone had left.
Calm down? I was about to spend three months living in a bus with the girl I had forced myself to try forget. Matt had sorted out the arrangements for the buses and shoved the bands on one bus together, and as Jasey was now with Mike, she got to claim one of the extra bunks in our bus. I sunk back in one of the arm chairs and pushed my finger through my hair. Rian clapped me over the shoulder as he left the room to answer the knocking door. A nervous giggle echoed through the hall way and I placed it instantly. Jack shot me a warning look and I straightened myself out as Rian re-entered with Jasey behind him.
“Mike forbade me from visiting you guys without him, but I never really was one to follow rules.” She smiled as she looked between the four of us. I frowned as the rest of the band gave her hugs and started chit-chat. “I couldn't wait to see you three again.” She was lying. That was not the reason she was here. I could always tell when Jasey was lying, something about her tone changed ever so slightly. The four of them squished onto the biggest couch, Jasey on Zack's lap, her fingers looping through his hair.
“You're quiet, Lexi.” Jasey sounded concerned as she got up to walk towards me. “Are you okay?” I nodded as she knelt in front of me and tilted my chin up so I was forced to look her in the eye. She sighed before giving the guys a 'fuck off' look and they all slowly filed out of the room, muttering about food. Jasey stood back up and pushed my arms out of my lap so she could perch herself on my knee. “Tell me what's wrong.” She cooed as she ran her fingers through my fringe. I shook my head and pulled her into my chest, simply enjoying having her cuddled against me again. “You have to tell me eventually.” I sighed and cupped her cheek in my hand.
“I love you.” I whispered as I stared into her eyes which instantly filled with hurt, the opposite of what I had intended. “What? What did I do?” She shook her head and jumped up onto her feet.
“You can't tell me that.” She stammered, backing up towards the middle of the room. I rose to follow her.
“Why? Why is that so wrong?” I demanded. I tell her I love her and she... I thought she would be happy.
“I have just managed to bring myself to try move on from you and agree to give it a shot with Mike and you waltz back in and tell me you love me like nothing happened?” Jasey's voice was getting increasingly angry and I instantly regretted talking to her at all. But mind you, she'd probably still find a way to be mad then as well. “You say it like the last five years have been perfectly fine and like I haven't changed at all. I could be a completely different person now compared to back then, and yet you love me? You don't even know who I am!” Zack poked his head in the door at the sound of her yells and quickly retreated when she stared him down. I strode over to here until our noses were nearly touching.
“I came back for you just like I promised and I was told at your doorstep that I was never to set foot in your house ever again and that you had no desire to ever see me again.” I spat. “Your mother told me that you hated my guts and were utterly through with me. I died inside hearing those words, so I left you alone. No, I didn't come looking for you. I didn't because I didn't think you wanted to be found!” I yelled and kept walking until we nearly hit the wall.
“I never said that!” Tears threatened to spill over as Jasey tried to contain sobs. “I never told her anything! She fed you a fuck load of lies that I never heard about until earlier! She fed them to you because she hated you. She was convinced you were going to turn into a douche bag musician and leave me the second the girls came running. I had nothing to do with that. I waited for you for six months after I graduated. You never visited, even when you were in town and I always wondered why. I assumed you had forgotten me.”
“Forget you? I love you Jasey!” I pushed her the final step against the wall and smashed my lips against hers. I felt her stiffen and resist underneath me and I gripped the top of her arms as I growled against her lips. “Stop resisting. I can see it in your eyes, you've been waiting for me to kiss you ever since you walked through the door with pizza.” I felt her resolve fail as she melted under my touch. A hand grabbed the back of my shirt and yanked me off her and threw me onto the couch. Zack stood between us, I had never seen him look so angry. He pointed to me and growled.
“Lisa.” Before turning to Jasey and growling Mike's name.
“I knew from the moment she walked in that this was going to happen, and we all need to accept that it will, but I will be fucking damned if this tears our bands apart and ruins our relationships. You two can fucking sort this shit out after tour, when we don't have thousands of fans to see. Sneak around, do whatever the fuck you want to do, you are grown adults, but don’t' fucking get caught or don't fucking do something so stupid that you'll ruin our tour. Understood?” Both Jasey and I ran our fingers through our hair sheepishly as Zack chastised us. “Do you fucking hear me?” We both nodded and he turned to Jasey. “Go home. We love having you back, but right now you need to go home and sort your head out while I beat the shit out of Alex.” Jasey practically ran down the hall way and out the front door as Zack stared me down. “Lisa. Lisa, Alex.” I sighed as my girlfriends name rang through my ears. Zack was right, this was gonna be a filthy, shitty mess and we were gonna have to clean up after we destroy everything. Unintentionally or not.

Notes

A loonger chapter haha. So? Team Mike? Team Alex? Team anyone else?
I hope you're enjoying it!

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