Me Without You

“Oh, fuck.” I groaned as I rolled out of bed and grabbed my clothes from where I had left them draped over the back of my desk chair. Today was the day, reunion day. I threw my clothes in the bathroom floor and flicked on the shower head. In two hours I was going to be locked in a room with my boyfriend, three best friends, and four guys I had revolved my life around who had seemed to forget me entirely. I stepped into the steaming water and stripped the hair off my body and spent way too long conditioning my hair. Hearing my phone ring I quickly rinsed my hair and shut off the water, reaching for my phone on the side of the sink.
“Mikey?”
“Hey, baby. No plans on running away?”
“No, I'll be there. I said I would be.” I laughed into the speaker. “But you called me mid-shower, so I will hang up on you now and you can text me Ri's address thank you very much.” I hung up on Mike and placed my phone back down on the sink, wrapping myself in a towel. I rubbed the excess water off my hair and flipped my head upside down as I ran the hair dryer through it. MY hair was too thin to do anything impressive with so I had to make do with making it as big as I could... which wasn't very big at all. The further I got into readying myself for the day the more and more nervous I became. I was going to see Alex again. After six years I was going to sit in the same room with my best friends. We would hug, smile, act like nothing was wrong, the meeting would continue, and... fuck that. They left me. I finished my simple make up with a smile and tousled my hair. If they were gonna ignore me for six years after promising to come back for me, I would make them feel like shit as well. I pulled on my jeans and tee before turning off the straighteners and blasting my hair with spray. I gave myself a once over and pulled on my shoes and jacket before grabbing my keys and heading for the door. I programmed Rian's address into the gps and sighed about how long it would take me to get there with the traffic. I took off from the complex and headed for Rian's. I knew there was a Starbucks and a pizza place nearby so I might as well pick up lunch.
After I had picked up the Starbucks for the bands and pizza for everyone I drove the short distance left to Rian's, my speed decreasing the closer we got. This was happening. Oh god. I shut off the engine as I parked next to Mike's car and picked up the pizza, balancing the drinks on top. I had gotten good at this over the years. Delivering for Pierce The Veil had given me some weird but useful talents. I opened the front door as Mike had told me to just come in and wandered towards the voices. I froze as Jack's chuckle echoed through the house and I checked myself over in the hallway mirror before emerging into the large living area. Mike turned and smiled at me, drawing the attention of everyone else. I gave Mike a quick kiss before setting the pizzas down on the table and handing Mike his coffee. I didn't look at anyone in the room except Mike who shook his head and laughed at me as he read the names on the remaining cups.
“Alex, you still like double chocolate chip frappes, right?” I raised an eyebrow at him as I walked over to place the drink in front of him. I did the same for Jack, Zack and Rian before giving Vic his coffee with a quick hug. As I wrapped my arm around Mike's waist and turned to face my old friends the room fell silent as the four boys stared at me, mouth open.
“Guys, this is Jase, my girlfriend. But I’m sure that introductions aren’t exactly needed?” Alex stood shakily, followed by the rest of the boys and Mike let go of me to go sit by Vic, they both knew that this was about to get ten times more awkward.
“See,” I put my hands on my hips and raised an eyebrow at the boys who were inching closer to me, huddled in a group for safety. “I managed to remember your Starbucks orders from my freshman year.” I looked between them all, knowing that even though I had kept up with what they were doing over the years, they had no idea what I had changed into. I flicked my dark green ombre hair over my shoulder before I continued. “But between four of you, you can't remember to come visit me again?”
“Aw, shit.” Jack whispered and Zack moved to lean against the kitchen counter as the crews and PTV slowly filed out of the room, leaving me alone with the boys.
“Yes, shit.” I snapped. I whipped my head to Alex. “And you, shouldn't make promises you fucking can't keep. You never came back for me.” I looked between the pained expressions on their faces as tears threatened in the corners of my eyes. “Any of you. I waited for you guys, I stood at the barricade at the first show you played back in Baltimore.” Alex shifted his weight around and ran a hand uneasily through his hair. “I gave up on you four. The four guys who promised me that they would come back and rescue me from my hell. But you never came, so I rescued myself.” Zack held his head in his hands as Jack tried to reach out to me. “Don't touch me, Jack. I moved myself out to California thinking I'd be closer to you, but fuck that. I couldn't wait around forever. I found myself new friends. I found myself a great big brother and a brilliant best friend who would take care of me through everything. And now, after five years they finally convinced me to come on tour with them and I get stuck back with the utter heartbreak caused by you.” I fell back into one of Rian's armchairs and sighed, my anger slowly subsiding into sadness. “I was doing just fine not having to see your faces, just in magazines, and on twitter. Keeping tabs on my old best friends who abandoned me. But now I'm going to have to spend nearly three months straight with you and that is not fair. It's not fair because you left me there by myself. Even after you promised.” Tears started to roll down my cheek and I let Alex move me so he could hug me. “You promised me, Alex.” I sobbed into his chest while the other boys looked on and Alex stroked my hair.
“Oh god, Jasey. I'm so sorry.” Jack whispered. “We came back for you, we came back and you were gone.” I pulled away from Alex and looked up at Jack who was leaning awkwardly against the kitchen counter.
“We did come back, munchie.” Rian sighed. “We came back to your house but you had left and your mom refused to tell us where you had gone.”
“We thought you wanted nothing to do with us, so we left it alone.” Zack grasped my hand. I stood up from Alex's lap and looked around at them all.
“In what mother fucking universe would I ever want to have nothing to do with you utter fuckers? If I managed to spend three years in high school trailing after your band and then two years waiting for you...” I trailed off. “You came back but you didn't find me.” I whispered to the ground.
“We tried, Jasey.” Zack protested.
“No!” I screamed, causing all the boys to take a step back. “That doesn't matter!” I whipped round to yell at Alex. “You! You promised me you'd find me no matter what!” I broke down again, causing Vic to come running into the room. He pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around me. “I'll go on tour with you.” I mumbled from Vic's jersey. “But that doesn't mean I'll ever forgive you.”

“So, now we've got all the drama out of the way.” Matt coughed from across the table. “Can we get on with the final details of this tour?” The group let out and acknowledging grunt and I settled back in my seat, my eyes locked in an angry staring contest with Zack as I held on to Mike's hand tightly.
Matt droned on, reviewing the dates and the venues, when the breaks were, if either of the bands had interviews and when. I moved my eyes from Zack’s gaze to Jacks, who utter sorrow and pain melted my anger instantly. I let go of Mikes hand and moved around the table, taking a seat on Jacks lap and resting my head on his shoulder as his arms quickly wrapped around me.
“I'm glad we got you back.” He whispered as the tour managers ran off some accounting issues.
“There's no we.” I replied quietly. “You're the only one I've forgiven. You were the only one who genuinely looked like you knew what you did wasn't okay.”
“I can't stand to have you angry at me, Jay.” He rested his head on mine and gave a squeeze. “You know that.” I looked across to Zack who gave me an apologetic smile which I returned before burying my head back into Jack's chest, soaking up the familiar feeling of being in one of their arms. A hand started to play with the old bracelet tied around my wrist and I looked up to see a beaming Alex.
“You still have it.” I rolled my eyes and pulled my hand away.
“Of course I do. It was the only thing I had left of you.”

Notes

HI! Please let me know what you think. There you finally get the All Time Low boys!
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