Me Without You

*ALEX POV*
“Holy fuck.” I sat up in my bunk, alone, no Jasey. I pulled on my shirt and jumped out into the corridor of the bus and whipped open Jack’s curtain.
“What the fuck dude?” He squinted, alone. I groaned and made my way to Mike’s bunk. I tapped on the side and was greeted by a groan.
“Dude, do you have Jay?” Another groan signalled a no. I checked her bunk but it was empty like I thought. Vic, empty. Jaime and Jess had gone back to the hotel after he had sung with Jasey. Rian, empty, but he was with Cass so she wouldn’t be in there anyway. Matt, empty. “Where is she!?” I growled. I stood in front of Zack’s bunk. The cuddly buddies. I cracked my knuckles before I slowly drew the curtains back. Zack’s back was rising slowly with each breath he took and it seemed like he was alone, the huge size of him blocking Jasey’s body off from me. It was her hair splayed out on the pillow that gave it away. I grabbed Zack’s shoulder and pulled him from his bunk, he was too tired to resist.
“What the fuck!?” Jasey screeched as her human hot water bottle was torn away from her. “Alex what are you doing!?” She pulled the covers up to hide her obvious lack of clothing. I pinned Zack up against the bunks. I knew if he wanted to fight back he would easily win but right now I didn’t care.
“What were you doing with her? Huh?” Alex turned to me and started to yell. “First Jack, now Zack too? Are you just turning into some sort of entitled band whore now?” Her face darkened at the words and she jumped out of the bunk in her denim shorts and bra... clothing, oh, damn. Although she was small, she was damn intimidating when she was angry. I dropped Zack as she advanced on me.
“What did you say, Gaskarth?” I stuttered as I fell onto one of the couches. “Go on, say it again. I dare you.” Her hands were balled into fists, which, no doubt, would more than happily meet my face. “Say it!” By now the whole bus was crowded, watching the drama.
“I didn’t mean it, Jay. It was in the heat of the-“
“You thought I slept with Zack?” Her green eyes had darkened from their usual bright colour to a deep emerald. “Did you?” I nodded shakily as I watched her anger grow. “Is that it? I don’t spend the night in your bunk and you flip out? Alex, we’re not even together! Nothing is official! I don’t even know if you are the one I’ll end up with!” Jasey’s hands went to her hair and she screamed. “For fucks sake! There are four of you on this bus fighting for my damn affection and I don’t know which one my affection fucking lies with!” She turned around to address the group gathered in the narrow corridor. “Mike, Zack, Jack. Outside.” Jasey stormed towards the door, grabbing my arm and dragging me with her. Once we were outside, she began again. “Can you all just stop? I can’t deal with all of this bullshit! So all four of you love me? Am I right?” We all looked nervously between each other before nodding. “Brilliant. Just fucking awesome. You see what you’re doing here? I’m going to have to choose. Picking between two of you wasn’t so bad. Because lets face it, we all knew how that fiasco was gonna play out. But four of you?” She ran a hand through her head before leaning against the bus.
“I’m sorry, Jasey.”
“No, shut up, Alex.” She sighed. “This is your fault and you know it.” That statement flipped a switch.
“That was over six years ago!” I yelled. “You can’t use me leaving as an excuse! We explained, we apologised! You keep using it as your scapegoat but you can’t anymore. It’s just fucking guilt tripping.” Jasey gaped at my outburst until she walked up to me and slapped me across the cheek.
“Yeah? But do you know what would have happened if you stayed?” Everyone’s head snapped up at this, including Mike who had gotten lost in his cigarette. “You may have won that bet, Alex, but you weren’t the first to kiss me. In fact you were very far behind.” Jack stumbled over his words at the shock of Jasey’s admission.
“Jasey! No, I thought… Jase!” Jack stammered.
“Shut up. I’m over this.” She snapped. “You know who I would have ended up with if you had stayed? Or if you had come back after that year? I can tell you right now it wouldn’t have been you Alex.” I turned to stare at Jack who was pacing in small circles, freaking out about Jasey’s admission. “You won that stupid bet, but Jack was the first one of you to make a move on me. God, how long have we kept that a secret? Jasey and Jack happened way before you even entered my love life, Alex.” She got close to my face, her rage giving her stupid amounts of courage. “I fucked Jack way before you kissed me.” I stared at the smile growing on her face. No way, she was lying. Jasey was mine, she had always been mine. “I was most definitely Jack’s until you kissed me. It was only when you kissed me that I realised I loved you as well, and you became the one that I waited for, the one who’s love I held onto. You, because you were the one who promised to come back. Before that, if I was forced to choose between you four, I would have picked Jack.” Jack ran a hand up and down his arm nervously. Zack was punching his palm awkwardly as we drunk in this information and Mike stood there calmly like this was all old news. “You three deciding you suddenly all love me could have ruined my relationship with Mike. You’re fucking lucking that he’s my best friend and didn’t freak out as much as I though he would.” Mike smiled at her and pulled her in for a small hug which seemed to calm her down dramatically. “What I was getting at was stop fighting over my affections. Stop getting fucking possessive, Alex. I don’t know who I want to be with, okay? I know you all love me, and I do, truly, love all of you, but honestly, lay off. Can you not just be my friends and leave it at that? Is that so hard?” Jasey whined.
“I’m sorry.” I mumbled and Jasey gave me a small smile.
“I know, Lex. But I’m not yours, and you need to understand that. I am nobody’s. The last few days with you have been great, but they weren’t official. I need to test the waters before I jump back in with anybody. And to be honest, the waters were warming up again, but now they are totally ice cold.” We all stood around feeling like scolded school children as Jasey climbed back on the bus to find Vic.
“Well that was…”
“Shut up.” I cut off Mike who was trying to hide the laughter in his voice.

Notes

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT
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