Me Without You

“It’ll be fine.” Jess squeezed my hand as we walked towards the party which was in full swing. I had been freaking out all afternoon after finding out that Zack and Jack still had things for me. I thought we were over all that. “Just breathe.” The party had spilled out of the bus and onto the parking lot Matt had booked out for tonight. We had bought out the top floor of the parking building so we could fill up with as many people as possible.
“Jasey!” An already drunk Alex called out for me from the door of the bus.
“Uh, be there soon!” I called back before looking at Jess, panicked.
“Breathe.” And with that, she disappeared into the crowd in search of Jaime and left me alone to try and dodge the four drunks apparently battling for my affection. I made my way through the congregation to the back of the bus and climbed up on the top.
“Tony… again?” I laughed, scooting over so I was sitting next to him.
“It’s quieter up here. There’s too many people for my liking.” He took a sip pf the bottle of Jack before handing it to me. I took a couple of swigs before cringing at the burn.
“I agree with you there.” I reached over and grabbed a bottle of beer from Tony’s stash. Knocking it back I heard Alex calling my name from below.
“Jack! Have you seen Jasey?” Tony turned and raised his eyebrows at me.
“You’re hiding, aren’t you?” I nodded and took another beer. “Why?”
“Too many men, too many feelings, not enough Jasey.” I sighed and Tony giggled, pointing to the face that appeared at the end of the bus. I turned to see Alex beckoning me to him.
“There you are! Come on, I lost a bet and now we have to sing.” He smiled, holding out his hand for me. I looked at Tony who simply laughed and tipped back more whiskey.
“We?” Alex rubbed a hand through his hair and you could see him wobble as he nearly lost balance on the ladder.
“I may have promised a duet with you. People wanted to hear you sing.” He shrugged and I mumbled under my breath that I would kill him in his sleep for this. Tony pushed me towards him and I flicked my legs over the back of the bus, following Alex down the ladder. When I reached the bottom he wasted no time, whipping me round and pinning me against the bus. His face hovered inches from mine and the sparks igniting between us were too intense to ignore, no matter how hard I tried. His warm hands were wrapped around my wrists, holding me against the ladder, his breath smelt like whiskey and cola and I swear there was nicotine in that mix. Alex smiled as our lips hovered next to each other, barely touching. I cleared my throat, what Jess had said earlier ringing in my ears. Three guys, Jasey. Three.
“Don’t we have a song to sing?” I stumbled, wriggling out of his grasp and heading towards the front door of the bus. I spotted Zack holding a guitar, surrounded by people, sitting on one of the makeshift benches someone had created. Alex caught up to me and grabbed my hand, asking what song we should sing.
“Broken.” Zack stated bluntly. “I’ve learnt it. You will sing it. I know you know the arrangement. We were listening to it yesterday.” I sunk down on the bench next to Zack, trying to think of how high that song went. Wait, I can’t sing Amy Lee. That was vocal suicide for an alto.
“Zack, I can’t sing Seether!” Alex exclaimed sitting down next to me. “His voice is… no way, dude.” Zack strummed the first chord and gave Alex a daring expression. “Fine.” Alex huffed. Zack beamed and started to pick at the guitar.
“I wanted you to know, I love the way the laugh.” Alex began, trying to adjust his voice to the song.
“I wanna hold you high and steal away the pain. I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain.” Alex smiled at me, finding where the song fit in his range. I had to admit, it was an odd choice for our style of vocals, but hey, Zack picked so we really couldn’t be to blame. I took a breath and joined him.
“Because I’m broken, when I’m lonesome, and I don’t feel right, when you’re gone away.” I sighed as I noticed Jack tense up at the lyrics. Perfect.
“You’ve gone away. You don’t feel me, anymore.” Alex faded out slightly, seeing the tense eye contact between Jack and me.
“The worst is over now.” I liked the reaction when I started singing by myself. No one here apart from the band would have heard me sing by myself and it was nice to see that people were pleasantly surprised by the sounds exiting my mouth. “And we can breathe again. I want to hold you high. You steal my pain.” I threw a smile to Jack and he loosened up a bit. “There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight. I want to hold you high and steal your pain.” Alex grabbed my hand and I stiffened. No, not while we sing this song, please Alex.
“Cause I’m broken when I’m open, and I don’t feel like I am strong enough.” I locked eye contact with Alex while we sung. Alex, because he wanted to convey that the lyrics were pretty much 100% true, I, because I couldn’t bring myself to look away. “Because I’m broken when I’m lonesome. And I don’t feel right, when you’re gone away.”
“Cause I’m broken, when I’m open, and I don’t feel like I am strong enough. Because I’m broken when I’m lonesome. And I don’t feel right, when you’re gone away.”
The last chord on the guitar faded out and I quickly pulled away. I got up to leave but Zack grabbed my hand and pulled me back down.
“Sing one with me?” I sighed and agreed, skilfully dodging Alex’s attempts to grab my hand. “One of the ones we used to sing.” He mused it over, plucking a couple of strings trying to get a feel for a song, and by his decision, he was trying to find the one that would bug Alex the most. “Secret Valentine?” I giggled and nodded. Zack and I used to sing this song constantly. It was our go to duet we had arranged. Zack began to pick at the strings and I couldn’t help but sway to the sound of the notes as the melody brought back memories of those days back in Towson.
“We’ll write a song, turns out the lights,” Zack began and everyone at the party was listening intently. It wasn’t often people got to hear Zack sing if it wasn’t accompanying Alex. “When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside.” I grinned and picked up where Zack left off, feeling nostalgic.
“Don’t waste your time, speed up your breathing. Just close your eyes, we’ll hope it’s not for nothing at all.” Alex was watching Zack closely and Jack was staring at me the way he always did when I sang this song with Zack.
“Soft kiss and wine, what a pretty friend of mine.” Zack winked at me as he sung. “We’re finally intertwined. Nervous and shy, for the moment we will come alive tonight. Secret Valentine.” We started to sing together, falling into the old harmonies as if we’d sung them yesterday.
“We’ll write a song, turn out the lights. Both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside. Don’t waste your time, speed up your breathing. Just close your eyes, we’ll hope it’s not for nothing at all.” I couldn’t help but smile at Jack as I continued singing.
“Lay down, be still.” Singing this bit always made me think of Jack. He always used to freak when I stayed over, worrying about what the rest of the band would say. I didn’t see how it mattered. I stayed with them as much as I did him. Actually, all of this song reminded me of Jack. I smiled a him and sung the next couple of lines without breaking the tense eye contact. “Don’t worry, talk they will. I’ll be loving you until mornings first light breaks tomorrow. I’ll take care of you tonight. Secret Valentine.” Alex’s hand gripped onto mine and I rolled my eyes and I fell back into harmonies with Zack as we both sung the chorus.
“We’ll write a song, turn out the lights.” I giggled at Mike, swaying back and forth with his lighter. “Both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside. Don’t waste your time, speed up your breathing. Just close your eyes. We’ll hope it’s not for nothing at all.” I braced myself for the bit I loved most. When Zack sang the next part his voice rumbled and he always scrunched his nose up as he strummed the chords and belted.
“When guilt fills your head, brush off. Rise up from the dead. This is the moment that we will come alive.” I loved its direct contrast with my softer lyrics.
“Brace yourself for love, sweet love. Secret love.” I made sure to close my eyes when I sang that. If I made eye contact with anyone, someone else would freak out and get possessive. Like Alex, who was crushing my hand.
“We’ll write a song, turn out the lights. When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside. Don’t waste your time, speed up your breathing. Just close your eyes. We’ll hope it’s not for nothing at all.
We’ll write a song, turn out the lights. When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside. Don’t waste your time, speed up your breathing. Just close your eyes. We’ll hope it’s not for nothing at all.” The party cheered as Zack and I dragged out the last note and I took the opportunity to snatch my hand away from Alex. Shit, that hurt.
The rest of the night was spent much like that, avoiding making eye contact during meaningful lyrics, annoying other people by singing with people other than them. I must have sang with every singer there at some point. I sang I Hate Everything by Three Days Grace with Alex, much to everybody’s amusement. We managed to talk Jack into doing Kryptonite with me, and I sung Bring Me To Life with Zack. Alex, Vic and Matt sang You Raise Me Up with me once we had had far too much liquor to care that we knew all the lyrics to that song and Zack was drunk enough to admit he knew the guitar. We managed to arrange I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor into a rather nifty acoustic which I sung and we must have covered at least twenty Green Day songs after that. The night faded into drunken singing and dancing, I had found Jess after the duets and she stayed within three yards of me at all times, pulling me away when one of the guys got too cuddly.
“Zack.” I whined as my stomach started to churn, I had escaped Jess and wanted my cuddle buddy. He poked an arm out of his bunk and I stumbled toward him, kicking my vans off on my way. “I’m drunk.” I climbed in beside him and he instantly wrapped his arms around me, pulling the duvet over my shoulders. “I’m so so drunk, and I shouldn’t be here.” I complained, burying my face into his bicep.
“Why shouldn’t you be here?” Zack slurred against the back of my head.
“Three men, not enough Jasey.” I repeated from earlier.
“Are those three men in a band?” Zack laughed and I nodded, my eyelids feeling heavy. “Am I one of those men?” I nodded again before letting sleep take over, but not before I felt Zack’s lips trail from my shoulder up to my neck.
“Goodnight, Jasey. I love you, you know.”

Notes

I really hope you guys are liking this so far! Please let me know what you think... who you ship ;)
Enjoy x

And here are the songs in the arrangements that Jasey and co. sang them ;) In case you wanted to hear...
Broken- Seether (Jasey and Alex)
Secret Valentine- We The Kings (Jasey and Zack)
I Hate Everything- 3 Days Grace (Jasey and Alex)
Kryptonite- 3 Doors Down (Jasey and Jack)
Bring Me To Life- Evanescence (Jasey and Zack)
You Raise Me Up (Jasey, Alex, Vic, Matt)
I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor- Artic Monkeys. (Jasey)