Guts

I called Rian and Zack and they were at my house in less than ten minutes. I quickly told them what happened and we set off searching. Zack let me borrow his car while he searched on foot and Rain took off on his motorcycle.

I searched the parks and stores in hopes he would be there. I had no such luck. We had been searching for almost an hour when a though dawned on me. I texted Rian and Zack and told them where to meet me.

I turned the car around and headed to the cemetery. Sure enough the car was there. I quickly parked and turned he car off and raced to the grave I knew he would be at. Sure enough he was in front of Maria’s grave with the bottle of Jack in his hand.

“Jack!” I shouted as I ran up to him and pulled him into my arms. “I was so worried. Please don’t run off on me again!”
He sighed, “I’m sorry Lex, I couldn’t sleep and I was really upset.”

I held him at arm’s length. His eyes were red and swollen from crying but when he talked he didn’t have a slur. I took the bottle out of his hands and it hadn’t even been opened. I gave him a quizzical look.

*Jack’s POV*

Hey guys, Jack here! I know I have been quite for waaaay to long but I had a reason. Its super hard for me to bring up Maria, much less pretty much reliving what happened with her and then having my mother and sister shun me.

However me and Alex talked and he thought it would be best if I put some of my wonderful input in so I am back. It’s still hard for me to talk about her to this day, so if I get a little emotional, don’t judge me!

Anyway, after my family left and Alex and I went to bed I laid there with Alex on my chest. I couldn’t sleep. My mom and sisters words rang through my ears. I didn’t wanna wake Alex up so I moved his head to the pillow. He made a cute little whiney noise but stayed asleep. I smiled to myself at how cute he was.

I snuck out of the room and shut the door quietly. I then headed to my old room. I hadn’t stepped foot in there since we had come back from tour. I took a deep breath and opened the door. The first thing that hit me was the smell. It still smelled like her. I turned on the light and closed the door.

I walked over to the bed. It was made; I guess Alex had made it before we left. I preferred to keep it messy but Maria and Alex both like it made. I sat down and looked around. Not much had changed. Our posters were still hung up and our pictures were everywhere. I knew if I opened the top three drawers her clothes would be there, nice and folded, and if I opened the closet it would be full of her clothes with an empty space where mine went.

Her shoe boxes were still under the bed along with her backpack and school stuff. I grabbed her pillow and buried my face in it. I inhaled deeply and let her sent fill my nostrils. I pulled the pillow back and realized it was wet. I wiped my eyes, not even noticing I had started crying.
I got up and left the room and headed to the kitchen. I searched the cabinet for the Jack Daniels and grabbed my coat and the car keys. I threw the bottle in the passenger seat and set out to my destination.

I got there and shut off the car and took the bottle. I headed straight to her grave and sat down. I sat there in silence for what seemed like forever. Then I lost it. I started screaming and crying. I screamed for so long that my voice went hoarse and I had no tears left to cry.

I opened the bottle and was about to take a swig when I heard a voice say my name. I turned around to see where it came from. I saw a girl walking towards me. It was dark so I couldn’t tell who it was until she got closer. Then it dawned on me, it was Nevaeh.

I hid the bottle behind my back and stood up. “What are you doing out here at this time? You should be at home. If you mother found out..”
“I felt.. off. So I came out here. I come here when things feel wrong or I need to get away, this is my escape. My mom is asleep so she won’t find out, unless someone tells on me.” She said, giving me an accusing glance.

I sighed and sat back down. She sat next to me and told Maria hi. “I didn’t know you were back.” Nevaeh told me.
“We just got back. We have some time off before we start recording and go back to tour.” I told her, trying to keep the bottle out of her sight.

“You can stop trying to hide it. I know it’s there.” She told me, not even giving me a sideways look as she pulled a book out of her bag and started sketching. I gave her a confused look but gave up and just set the bottle beside me.

We sat in silence as she drew. After a while I tried to get a peek at what she was drawing but she turned her body away and just kept going. Finally she set her pencil down and turned her book to me. What I saw took my breath away.

It was Maria, a bit older but it was defiantly her. Her hair was blowing wildly around her and her smile lit up the whole picture. Somehow Nevaeh managed to make the drawing look like an actual picture. It was beautiful.

She tore it out and handed it to me. “I have only ever seen pictures of her but I assume this is what she would look like now. I come out here and draw a lot. Most of them end up of her. You can have this one. You need it more than I do.” She put her book and pencil back in her bag and stood up. She dusted off her pants. “I should head home. I’m glad I got to see you.”

I stood up and gave her a hug. She smiled as I pulled away. “Hey. We will be playing a concert here soon, will we see you there?” I asked.

She gave me a smile and nodded as she walked back off.

I sat back down and just stared at the picture. It was so realistic. It was like someone had taken of her and then sketched it out. I put the picture against her grave and picked the Jack back up.

I sat there holding it and contemplating drinking it. Every time I would think about it, I got sick to my stomach. That was making me even more frustrated.

As I sat there fighting with myself I didn’t even hear footsteps until Alex called out my name. I was shaken from my trance as he pulled me into a hug. “I was so worried. Please don’t run off on me again!”

I hadn’t realized he would even wake up and realize I was gone. I let out a sigh, “I’m sorry Lex, I couldn’t sleep and I was really upset.” He pulled away from me and eyed the bottle in my hand.

I ran my hands through my hair and started explaining what happened.

Notes

So I dont even know why it took me so long o.o

I'm horrible I know, shun me and vote me off the island! Jk please dont do that! I love you guys to much!!

Let me know what you think!! I love your feed back and words and what not!!

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