Breaking Down Walls.
Six
Ivy
Its been two days since the boys left i am currently sat downstairs waiting for my auntie to finish making me breakfast apparently, I deserved to sit down at least that's was she has told me, today I plan to go out I want to keep my promise to Alex, it feels weird thinking of being outside considering for a year I've manged to spend all of my days here. I think I'm ready to go outside, but maybe I'm not for the past two days I've been talking my self out of it. Laying in my bed would be better for me anyway that way I could still feel like my parents were here. I sound crazy. I don't know what it is but when I'm here it I know I'm safe nothing can hurt me, I feel close to them. As soon as I go out there anything could happen. Anything. It scares me I wish I had Zack he'd drag me out. Thinking of Zack I haven't spoke to him since he left now would be a good time to text him I whisper to myself.
'Hey Zacky how is everything? Missing me at all? Any parties that I'm missing? Can't wait to see you bro hope I don't wake you up. I love you, missing you loads. Xxxxxxxx
-ivy
After breakfast I decide it's time to get ready, I say thanks to auntie Carol for breakfast and run upstairs. Jump into the shower let the hit water rain down I can feel the water stinging on my fresh cuts I take a look at my arms to see the, cuts had re-opened and were now turning the water into a crimson colour. I jump out of the shower and wrap myself into a towel checking my phone to see I have two text messages one from Zack and one from Alex I open up Zack first
'Hey ivy, everything is going good it's so much fun we had a party last night so I'm slightly hung over ahaha how's everything at home sweet? I'm missing you loads it's weird not having your breakfast in the morning. 6 weeks till I come home but I can't wait to see you either, I love you to baby sis xxxxxxx'
I mentally remind myself to reply to him later.
I go ahead and open Alex's text.
'Hello Merrick how's it going? I wanted to make sure that our little promise is still going to happen, if you do go out I hope you have fun darling. It will be good for you to get some air. Anyways I have to go bye sweetie'
Alex gave me the push I needed to get dressed and walk out that door.
I quickly grabbed my Jack Daniels top and my 'don't hate' button up jacket, I look outside to see the sun is shining, I can't wear skinnies today. I look into my draw to see a pair of old shorts. I'm going to have to wear these. What if someone See's the scars what if someone see the cuts. I can't. I can't wear them. I'm not going. I'm staying in there is no way I'm going outside. I frantically look around for some leggings. Nothing. I have nothing else. It's to hot to wear skinnies. I hear my phone go off and look at the caller I.d Zack.
"Hello" I try to sound as if nothing is wrong.
"Hey ivy just wanted to see how you are? You haven't replied to my text" he sounded panicked I hear Alex shout in the background 'or mine'
"I was going to reply to you both but I was getting ready, sorry bro and Alex"
"Getting ready? For what?" He questioned me.
"I've decided to go out, it looks hot today I was thinking go grab a coffee or go do something"
"Sounds really great Ivy. I'm proud of you give me a text when you're back hun"
I smiled happy that he would be proud of me
"Okay Zacky I'm going to get ready I'll talk to you later, love you bye."
He said bye and we hung up.
I searched for at least a pair of tights so that if anyone did look at my legs I had a chance to hide the scars slightly. Panic over. All I needed was to talk to Zack he calmed me down without even knowing I was upset. My phone went off Alex had text me
'Yay Ivy listened to me, well done! Have a fucking lush day sweetie seriously, I hope you have loads of fun'
I take a deep breathe. I'm actually doing this I'm going out. Fuck. I really don't know if I can do it. For two days it's been killing me thinking about it. I have to do it. Not for Alex. For me. I'm ready. Or am I?. Fuck it I grab my spiked boots, bracelets, Alex's necklace, a pair of pink and green headphones and my ring.
I start doing my hair I decided to just straighten it today, but I also decided to wear quite a bit of make up but make it look natural with only a little bit of pink lipstick it was hard to decide between a nude shade or the pink. Pink always wins. I walk downstairs to say goodbye to my auntie I looked out our front door. Am I ready. Can I do it. It's better now than never. or is it?
Its been two days since the boys left i am currently sat downstairs waiting for my auntie to finish making me breakfast apparently, I deserved to sit down at least that's was she has told me, today I plan to go out I want to keep my promise to Alex, it feels weird thinking of being outside considering for a year I've manged to spend all of my days here. I think I'm ready to go outside, but maybe I'm not for the past two days I've been talking my self out of it. Laying in my bed would be better for me anyway that way I could still feel like my parents were here. I sound crazy. I don't know what it is but when I'm here it I know I'm safe nothing can hurt me, I feel close to them. As soon as I go out there anything could happen. Anything. It scares me I wish I had Zack he'd drag me out. Thinking of Zack I haven't spoke to him since he left now would be a good time to text him I whisper to myself.
'Hey Zacky how is everything? Missing me at all? Any parties that I'm missing? Can't wait to see you bro hope I don't wake you up. I love you, missing you loads. Xxxxxxxx
-ivy
After breakfast I decide it's time to get ready, I say thanks to auntie Carol for breakfast and run upstairs. Jump into the shower let the hit water rain down I can feel the water stinging on my fresh cuts I take a look at my arms to see the, cuts had re-opened and were now turning the water into a crimson colour. I jump out of the shower and wrap myself into a towel checking my phone to see I have two text messages one from Zack and one from Alex I open up Zack first
'Hey ivy, everything is going good it's so much fun we had a party last night so I'm slightly hung over ahaha how's everything at home sweet? I'm missing you loads it's weird not having your breakfast in the morning. 6 weeks till I come home but I can't wait to see you either, I love you to baby sis xxxxxxx'
I mentally remind myself to reply to him later.
I go ahead and open Alex's text.
'Hello Merrick how's it going? I wanted to make sure that our little promise is still going to happen, if you do go out I hope you have fun darling. It will be good for you to get some air. Anyways I have to go bye sweetie'
Alex gave me the push I needed to get dressed and walk out that door.
I quickly grabbed my Jack Daniels top and my 'don't hate' button up jacket, I look outside to see the sun is shining, I can't wear skinnies today. I look into my draw to see a pair of old shorts. I'm going to have to wear these. What if someone See's the scars what if someone see the cuts. I can't. I can't wear them. I'm not going. I'm staying in there is no way I'm going outside. I frantically look around for some leggings. Nothing. I have nothing else. It's to hot to wear skinnies. I hear my phone go off and look at the caller I.d Zack.
"Hello" I try to sound as if nothing is wrong.
"Hey ivy just wanted to see how you are? You haven't replied to my text" he sounded panicked I hear Alex shout in the background 'or mine'
"I was going to reply to you both but I was getting ready, sorry bro and Alex"
"Getting ready? For what?" He questioned me.
"I've decided to go out, it looks hot today I was thinking go grab a coffee or go do something"
"Sounds really great Ivy. I'm proud of you give me a text when you're back hun"
I smiled happy that he would be proud of me
"Okay Zacky I'm going to get ready I'll talk to you later, love you bye."
He said bye and we hung up.
I searched for at least a pair of tights so that if anyone did look at my legs I had a chance to hide the scars slightly. Panic over. All I needed was to talk to Zack he calmed me down without even knowing I was upset. My phone went off Alex had text me
'Yay Ivy listened to me, well done! Have a fucking lush day sweetie seriously, I hope you have loads of fun'
I take a deep breathe. I'm actually doing this I'm going out. Fuck. I really don't know if I can do it. For two days it's been killing me thinking about it. I have to do it. Not for Alex. For me. I'm ready. Or am I?. Fuck it I grab my spiked boots, bracelets, Alex's necklace, a pair of pink and green headphones and my ring.
I start doing my hair I decided to just straighten it today, but I also decided to wear quite a bit of make up but make it look natural with only a little bit of pink lipstick it was hard to decide between a nude shade or the pink. Pink always wins. I walk downstairs to say goodbye to my auntie I looked out our front door. Am I ready. Can I do it. It's better now than never. or is it?
Notes
What does everything think?
Thought I would leave a bit of a cliff hanger
Do you think she goes out?
-Kay
Hops on black Pegasus of rainbow feels to ride next story
9/6/14