Breaking Down Walls.

The past two days have been hard but I've done as Zack said although I thought I'd never be able to do it. I even met someone new who just happens to live next door his name is Dylan. He noticed me yesterday morning on my door step reading. He scared me at first like all people do but then he sat with me for about two hours we talked about him really since I wasn't a very open person I think he understood. I learnt that he is also 17 he moved in just two weeks ago. He's living with just his mum because his Dad left when he was very young, I never told him I don't have parents when auntie carol came out he still didn't seem that surprised I think he thought she was my mum. He doesn't know who my brother is or what band he's in which is a good thing because then I won't feel like he's only friends with me to meet All time low. Although he does listen to bands like Blink 182 and green day. He seems like a really nice boy I haven't spoke to anyone but all time low and family since this year but meeting people is fun because I feel safe. They don't know about me I don't know about them. Tomorrow Dylan has asked me to come into town with him. He doesn't know about me or my life so I couldn't say no and I had no excuses to make. Maybe this will be good for me. Maybe it won't there is only one way to find put I guess.

I've been talking to Zack a lot at least twice a day, he's really proud of the progress I've been making. I still think its all to quick i can feel myself slowly forgetting them. Obviously I will never forget them, but everyday a piece of their memory disappears, it scares me. I'm worried that everything is going to fast and that me meeting Dylan isn't a good thing. I told Zack that I met him, he thinks its amazing that I'm making new friends I wish he could understand how I feel. I'm ready to make friends but I'm not ready to let them go.

I haven't touched the blades for two days everyday the urge gets so strong but I've managed to stay clear from them. Maybe I am getting better. It's okay to he scared of change though right? I don't know where my life is taking me. It could turn bad that's something I'll never find out. I want it all to be okay, but I don't know if that's actually going to happen. Maybe meeting Dylan is a good thing I mean it might be easier to start again like I've said he doesn't know about me I can properly start again.

Notes

Look guys Im sorry this is shit and terrible. I haven't upsated in a while.
I haven't been doing to well and I'm sorry. But updates will be slow. I'm trying to sort my life out.
At the moment it's hard. Enough about me

What do you think about Dylan?
What do you think is going to happen?
I'd love to hear your opinions

Thanks for reading xo

-Kay