No Pads… No Helmets… Just Memories!

2 weeks.



2 long weeks...


14 days...


336 hours...


20,160 minutes...


And so many seconds had it been since I as much as spoke to Alex. Though I can't say that the time apart was as much of a two way street as it was mostly just me constantly ignoring him, he wouldn’t let it go. And damn was that boy making things harder then they needed to be, on the both of us.


I didn't need the drama of Alex begging in my everyday routine, not with my building anxiety of my secret just waiting to be dropped. It was almost as if Tammy was waiting for me to think she wasn't going to let it leak to do just that. Every snicker, every glance, every sly remark to slip past her bubble pink lips made my blood boil and my heart race. Just the tension of her waiting game put me on edge, like making me squirm was all part of her game. A game I didn't want to be involved in. Just another involuntary punishment forced upon me by Sir. Alexander Gaskarth. The same name that was flashing across the external screen of my vibrating phone.


"You gonna get that?" Marc asked as he looked up at me from his book. My lips pressed together as my eyes narrowed toward the device. My glare never budging from the phone as it vibrated, as if I was waiting for laser beams to spawn from my eyes and simply disintegrate it. A quick groan passing my lips before I snatched it off the table and flipped it open. The phone opening just far enough for the call to pick up before I snapped it shut and discarded it once again. "Alex?" Marc questioned as I simply glared around the room. The elder boy letting out a sigh as he shifted in his seat while I crossed my arms over my chest with a grunt. "You got to talk to him sometime!" He dragged as my glare snapped to him. Marc quickly lifted his hand in surrender before leaning back in his chair.


"I don't have to do anything..." I muttered leaning forward and trying to focus on my open Pre-Calc book before me.


"He's your best friend..." Marc breathed as I snorted keeping my eyes on my book.


"He's nothing to me." I muttered under my breath as silence soon set around us.


I kept my eyes trained on my book as I ignored my friend. I could feel Marc's eyes set on me as he watched. His hands pressed to his thighs before he shook his head. "Let's go..." He sighed getting to his feet, his words finally catching my eye as they lifted to his moving figure. "Come on..." He dragged taking hold of my wrist before I was lightly pulled from my studies and lead from his dining room.


Marc led us down the hallway before pulling me up the stairs. His hold on my wrist never faltering till it vanished all together after entering his room. My body sinking into his worn mattress while he drifted to his desk. All while Marc pulled apart the few drawers I sat twirling my thumbs. But it wouldn't be till Marc shoved a Polaroid photo between me and my hands that I finally saw his angle of me being up there.


"What is this?" I questioned harshly as I plucked it from Marc's hand. The boy sighing as he took a seat beside me. An arm draping around the base of my back while he sat back, letting his weight settle in his free palm.


"It's you and your best friend."


But it wasn't, it was me and Alex. A photo I didn't even remember was taken. Though we didn't look like "friends" at all, more like a stupid sappy couple. I was lying on the living room floor while Alex hovered over me. A smile on his face though I looked on the brink of tears, in the photo his hands clutching my face blocked my laughing grin but I knew it was there. I remembered that day like it was yesterday. Back to a day that Alex and I could look at one another without all the drama sitting between us, creating a barrier that couldn't be broken.


"ALEX..." I called as I stood in my kitchen. By body completely frozen as it refused to move from its spot. I heard a groan from the boy followed by his heavy footsteps as he dragged his feet.



"Yes dear..." He called sarcastically as he entered the room.



"ALEX KILL IT!" I demanded as my voice nearly cracked. My arm lifting to point at the small, black spider that decided it was okay to set up shop on my fucking cabinet.



"Kill what?" Alex quipped as he stepped up beside me, the boy pressing a palm to the base of my spine nearly making me jump out of my skin.



"THAT!" I snapped never letting my eyes fraction from the insect as it crawled, "THAT SPIDER!"



"What?" He scoffed as he stepped closer to follow my finger. "That little guy?" He chuckled looking back into my wide eyes.



"LITTLE GUY ALEX!?" I yelled taking a step back, "ITS A SPIDER NOT A TODDLER, NOW KILL IT!"



"You are such a baby!" Alex chuckled as he reached past the spider to rip a paper towel off the roll like it was nothing.



"I'LL BE A MAGICAL FUCKING UNICORN IF IT MEANS YOU WILL SHUT UP AND KILL IT!" I whined as I hopped making it appear like I had nothing but a full bladder after a double gulp from 7Eleven only making the boy laugh more.



"What would you do if I wasn't here?" He laughed before pressing the paper towel to the wooden cabinet and giving it a pinch to my relief.



"Simple!" I hopped waiting for him to dispose of the towel, "I'd run across the street and make you come kill it, then I'd probably sleep in your bed in fear of finding another one!"



Alex chuckled as he rested a hand on the counter by the trashcan. His other hand just one flick away from ridding my presence of that bug while he smiled. "That second part still up for grabs?" He laughed as I eyed him down and continued to do my little "pee pee" dance while I watched the paper towel.



"Not if you don't throw that thing out NOW!" I yelled only causing him to laugh again.



"I'll take my chances!" He spoke flicking those caterpillars he calls eyebrows before he straightened out.



"Alex..." I tested pointing a finger his way as he took a step closer. "ALEX NO!"



"Why so scared Jasey-Boo?" He chuckled and took another step before I took off.



I ran so fast for that hallway I never even saw him place the paper towel down before he darted after me. A screech ripping through my lungs as I heard his heavy footsteps and made a loop around the house.



"ALEX DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!" I screamed as I entered the living room. A set of hands snagged my hips as I tripped with the tug. "ALEX NO STOP!" I yelled as I slumped to the floor. His body soon appearing over mine as he hovered over me. His knees between my legs while his hands were planted on either side of my head, empty. But I didn't see that. My eyes were zipped shut with my hands pressed over my face while I tried to curl into a ball, the heals of my converse nearly resting on the small of Alex's back as I tucked them up, just like they were in the photo. "LEX DON'T DO THIS!"



"Jasey open your eyes!" He whispered while I shook my head profusely.



"Alex this isn't fucking funny!" I screamed through my fingers while he chuckled. His warm hands shifting to clasp around my wrists, his soft smile coming into a blurry view when he pulled my hands from my eyes. The boy laughing while he cupped my face with a grin. "I hate you..." I muttered while I wrapped my small hands around his wrists letting him keep their place on either side of my face.



"You love me!" He laughed swiping a thumb under my eye just as Julie took the photo from the doorway. The flash illuminating the room as my head snapped to my mom as she smiled at the camera, her old Polaroid in hand with the white square poking out the front before she took it in her hands and gave it a shake out.



"MOM!" I whined turning my head more before it was caught in Alex's hands and brought back to face his.



"Mrs. Dawson can I have that photo later?" He questioned, keeping his eyes locked on mine while he spoke. His warm breath fanning over my face while I feigned annoyance.



"Sure thing, it might be the only photo of you two in existence not being stupid!" Julie giggled as she smiled at the photo.



"Alex is being stupid!" I whined poking him in the side causing him to convulse slightly.



"Don't worry, I'll be sure to leave out you being a brat when I tell the moms when we all go out for smoothies in our gym cloths!" Julie laughed before I looked over to see her dipping from the doorway before I could call her back again. My eyes turning back to Alex to see his boyish grin plastered on his face.



"I hate you..." I muttered again as he watched me.



"No you don't..." He shook his head as it inched closer to mine. His face far closer for comfort than usual, but I allowed it with a pout.



"Oh, but I do..." I told him as I lofted a brow.



"Prove it..." He all but whispered before letting his lips dip to mine.



For a moment my eyes snapped wide before slipping shut. This was the first time Alex had kissed me since that drunken night. The first time he pressed his lips to mine with no other reason than he wanted to, he felt like he should. I let my body seep into his as my hands clutching his wrists moved to get lost in the locks at the back of his head allowing him to pull my face closer to his freely. His kiss was soft and gentle, but all too short before he pulled away.



My eyes fluttering open in time to catch his, in time to see that light smile ghosting over his lips as he watched me.



"HEY ALEX?" Julie's voice rang through the house as the boy in calling looked up.



"Yeah?" He asked, a hint of what seemed like nervousness hit his voice as he spoke. The weaver causing a light smirk to be bit back as it attempted to creep onto my lips.



"I though Ri was going to be off work so much earlier, but I have brownies cooling if you want them...?" She called back, her toothy grin practically visible in her voice as she sang. Alex snapping his head to me before he was pulling us both to our feet in the blink of an eye.



"MAMA DAWSON I LOVE YOU!" He yelled grabbing my hand and dragging me into the hallway. I giggled as I looked up at Alex. His brown mop falling in his face as he pulled me down the hall in a tripped run.



"Ditto..." She laughed as the two of us came into view, "but I'd love you a little more if you didn't pull my daughter's shoulder out of its socket!" Alex simply scoffed as he pulled us towards the island. "Alexander she may play soccer with her feet but she needs both her arms just as much!" Julie scolded as she pointed a spatula at the boy.



"She’s not even that good!" Alex laughed as he pooled onto a stool and quickly took hold of my hips to place me in his lap before my yelp could hit the air. I tuned my head up to glare at him as he shot me a wide grin pulling me so I sat across his thighs. I opened my mouth to complain of the empty stool beside him before his shoulder was enclosing on my face to reach for a brownie.



"Eat your words Gaskarth..." I muttered turning to do the same as I reached across the counter while he chuckled.



"Or I could just eat your mom’s brownies!" He laughed eyeing the treat with wide eyes like a little kid in the candy shop before shoving half of the warm brownie into his mouth with a satisfied groan.



"Yeah..." I murmured as I eyed my own snack, "Do that!" I laughed loudly before wedging my arm under his to smash the warm brownie to his jaw.



His eyes blowing wide as he popped his jaw open and looked down on me in awe, "JASEY RAE DAWSON THAT IS SUCH A WASTE OF BROWNIE!" He gaped before snapping his mouth shut into a smirk before his own brownie was smashed to my face.



"HEY!" Julie's voice boomed as we both stopped giggling and immediately brought our attention to the unamused parent. Her toe tapping on the kitchen floor while she crossed her arms over her chest. For a brief moment she eyed us down before pulling a hand through her hair and starting for the office.



"I hate you Alex!" I giggled aloud before I was silenced by the padding steps of Julie. Alex and I were left to stifle fits of giggles every time we glanced at the messy face of the other for the brief time we sat there.



"He gave that to me you know..." Marc muttered as he tapped the photograph with his index finger, ripping me from the memory, "he wanted you to have it."



"Why?" I asked shaking my head, my tone hoarse and rough even though my question was filled with genuine curiosity.


"I don't know, but I have this one that I wanted to give you myself..." He sighed leaning back on his bed to fish a second photo from his back pocket. This one a tad smaller, and on normal photo paper that is given to you when you process your photos at a local CVS. The photo just like the last included of me and Alex, though other blurs in the background told me we weren't alone. I was sitting up at the Island chopping some yellow vegetable while Alex appeared to have been placing a soft kiss to my temple. The task only interrupted by him smiling into the skin. I opened my mouth as I watched the photo, but before I could question Marc, he had already started his explanation.



"I remember, it was the day I first experienced you guys together... Like really acting like you two normally do" Marc sighed as a smile ghosted over his lips, "It was after your first soccer game and you had a bunch of people over for a victory dinner, you and me were set up in the kitchen helping your dad chop peppers for his salsa when Alex came in. I'll never forget the look on your face when he looked at you; it was almost like the rest of us weren't even there." He chuckled as he shook his head thinking back to the day. "You two baffled me..." He told me as his head dropped, "It was just you and Alex, like it had always been. Just the two of you acting like total and utter idiots, but it didn't seem to matter what either of you said because if one of you as much as looked at one another, you both changed. It’s like neither of you were the same when you were together. But when you both changed, it was for the better."


"Marc..."


"Jasey, I'm no Alex..." He continued with a sigh brushing off my interjection. "I know how you two are, I don't need to have known you for years to understand he is your rock, he's who you go to no matter what. And as much as I love you and cherish you as a friend, I can never be that for you, because see, you and me, we don't look at one another like you and Alex do." Marc sighed as he pulled a hand through his hair. "I don't know exactly what he did Jase..." He sighed again rubbing a hand on my thigh, "but I know what you two have is special, so just think, just think about whether it’s worth losing what could be..."


"But-"


"Just think about it okay, nothing is hurt by just thinking about it." He sighed, "He’s a good guy Jase, even after all this bullshit, I think he might still truly care."


"Well I think you might be the only one who thinks so..." I muttered as my eyes fell on the two photos one last time.


"I know at least two others who deep down know it’s true..."

Notes