Title Credit: Goo Goo Dolls


"Jaseeeyyy" a voice called as a hand lightly shook my shoulder.


"What?" I managed to mumble out followed by a groan that was passed more as a whimper than anything else.



"JASEY!" Rian snapped causing me to shoot upright in bed, my hair flinging in every which direction as I did so.



"WHAT!" I yelled in a similar tone as my actions began to catch up to me and I let out another distressed groan.



"YOU SLEPT IN WE HAVE THREE MINUTES TO LEAVE!" He shouted as I all but fell out of the bed and bolted for the bathroom. I shoved the door open and threw myself at the sink as I stopped.



"Wait a minute." I mumbled standing up straight as my brain straightened out and I shuffled back into my bedroom.



"Robert Rian Dawson!" I spoke, "what the hell day is today?"



"The 26th..." He giggled trying to control his laughter as my eyes narrowed at my twin.



"YOU ASS!" I yelled throwing whatever article of clothing was closest from the floor at him as he doubled over in a fit of girlish giggles.



"YOU’RE SO DAMN GULLIBLE!" He laughed as I swatted at him to get off my bed.



"ITS THANKSGIVING BREAK WHY ARE YOU EVEN UP!" I yelled continuing my assault of pointless smacks.



"I have to work," he shrugged as I gave up and sat down on my bed, "thought I could get some shits and giggles out of you while I had the chance!" He laughed sitting on the edge of my bed beside me, "you know!" He puffed reaching over to wrap his thick arm around my neck-



"RIAN!"



"YOU KNOW, TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME!"



"RIAN!" I laughed, "YOUR SO DAMN CHILDISH!" I yelled giggling as I pushed him off of me and was released from his nuggie.



"Well what’s going on in here?" A chuckle bellowed causing Rian and me to smile up at the sight of our father.



"Nothing!" Rian piped with a smile causing me to glare at my brother with a light laugh.



"Ri don't taught you sister, shell hold it over you for the remainder of your life!" He laughed plopping down in my desk chair as I huffed with a victorious grin.



"Like Aunt Meg?" Rian question with an uneasy tone.



"Exactly like Aunt Meg!" Our dad laughed poignantly, "Especially since from the looks of it you just woke this bugger bum up!"



"Bugger bum?" I lofted a brow with a laugh, "Really dad?"



"Actually I was planning on dragging her to work with me to entertain me and because she has nothing better to do and I'm the bomb so who wouldn’t want to spend a day with me!"



"Cool it Casanova!" I laughed pulling back my comforter, "I’ll go but only because I want ice cream and I don't have plans till tonight."



"What plans?" Rian scoffed.



"Plans plans!" I quipped pulling on his arm, "now out both of you!"



"Fine just meet me down stairs and we can leave in a bit." He shrugged with a smug smile.



After the two were pushed through my door I made quick with getting ready. Throwing on a random pair of jeans and a tee shirt letting my wavy hair do as it pleased I was slipping on my converse and sliding down the banister within minutes.



After shoveling half a bowl of fruit loops into my mouth and half listening to Julie scold me about how I would somehow poke and eye out for using the hand railing as a slide, Rian stumbled in from the backyard letting the sliding glass door slam shut behind him.



"When do we have to leave?" I questioned with a mouth full of cereal gaining that classic motherly glare from Julie.



"In about uhm..." He paused to glance at time on the oven, "three hours!" Just as I looked up to shoot him a confused look the door bell sounded.



My dad brushed by me to grab the door as Rian pulled himself on the counter with a knowing smile. A smile that brought an uneasy feeling to my gut as I heard the heavy front door click open.



"Alex?" My father’s voice sounded causing my eyes to blow wide, "how you doing kid, come in, come in!"



"Rian?" I looked at my brother who sat on counter with a smug smile plastered across his lips.



I turn backed to see the dark figured boy, gob smacked as he shuffled forward into the kitchen and glanced up at me with his warm brown eyes. "Hey..." He hushed looking into my eyes.



"Hey..." I mumbled looking down at my lap as I swiveled to fully face him.



"Can we talk?" He asked in almost a whisper, "in private?"



I was taken by my own surprise as I slipped from the stool and followed his towering figure out onto the back porch and to the side of the house.



Stopping in his tracks Alex let out a deep sigh before finally meeting my gaze. I was taken aback when Alex looked down on me with pain stricken orbs and slid my hands into his palms, calmly rubbing his thumbs over my knuckles.



"I miss you." He whispered leaving me dumbfounded.



"You shouldn't" I muttered looking down at our encased hands, "you’re the one who pushed me away."



"Would you believe me if I told you it was with good reason." He whispered taking a step closer to me.



"I want to Alex," I hushed looking up at him as he brushed some fringe from my eyes, letting his fingers linger across my forehead before venturing down my cheek, "I really want to."



"Then what’s stopping you?" He whispered letting his hand rest on my jaw, cupping it in place as I leaned into his warm touch. "I’m not doing this to hurt you, trust me."



"Then why is that all you do Alex?" I quivered as tears reluctantly began to cluster along my water line, "I let you in to have it thrown in my face time and time again," I started taking in a sharp inhale, "I’m starting to question if letting you in again is even an option."



"Jasey..." He coed cupping the bend of his finger under my chin, lifting it to illuminate my tear kissed features as they silently slid down my skin.



"I don't want to hurt anymore Alex..." I cried now as he tucked his arms around me, shockingly pulling me into a tight hug as he hushed calming sounds into my ear and he soothed my hair.



"I know, I know" he cooed rocking us lightly.



"I want you in my life again Alex," I frowned pulling my face from the warm fabric of his hoodie, "but I want my Alex, but not this Alex, not the Alex who gets in fist fights, and keeps secrets, and avoids me!"



"Jasey trust me when I say I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t trying to protect you." He sighed leaning his forehead on mine.



"Protect me from what?" I questioned in a hushed tone.



"I can’t tell you yet, its better off, just please know I’m not doing this to hurt you." He muttered bounding his arms tighter around my waist.



"Just tell me what’s going on Alex, it can’t be that bad, I don't know how much more of this game I can play."



"I can’t" he whispered almost sounding as if he were holding back tears of his own, "trust me I would tell you in a heartbeat if I could, but I can’t."



"Why?" I questioned trying to keep myself together even though I was splitting at the seams.



"I can’t tell you that, someday I can and will," he hushed tucking a stand behind my ear all while never taking his head from mine, "but not yet."



"What about Tammy?" I choked out.



"I can’t say anything," he hushed, "and you can’t tell anyone I spoke to you, no one."



"Alex why," I whispered knowing if I tried to speak a notch louder my voice would fail, "just tell me why."



For a while it was silent as he moved his forehead so his nose was nuzzled against mine, the crest of out hairlines nipping at the others. "It was a sacrifice I was too willing to take" he hushed bending down at the knees lightly so we were level before he pressed his lips to mine. I almost instantly melted into the kiss. My body collapse into his with a pure drive of desperation for his soft lips to remain locked on mine. His hands latched to my hips supporting my weight as my hands tangled themselves in his soft locks, pulling him closer as if we would never kiss again, but yet again maybe we wouldn’t? I should have pushed him off in Heinz sight, what had he done to slither in like that so easily. But there was something about the way I felt when Alex's lips met mine. That no matter what happened we wouldn’t be weird, that the whole thing just felt so easy, so simple. So right.



There was something about the tingle his lips brought to mine, or the way he pawed at my hips trying to pull me closer and closer to his body that told me he felt it to. That no matter what I thought of Alex, or how angry and upset I was with him, that none of that mattered for the time my lips were locked on his. I shifted to my toes to lock my hands on the back of his neck to deepen the kiss when I felt a drop on my cheek.



I was overcome by the cold absence of his lips leaving mine as he tucked me closer into his body allowing his head to nuzzle into the crook of my neck with a sigh. The same warm liquid from my cheek began to soak onto my shoulder, Alex was crying?



"Alex...?" I called snaking my arms around his waist.



"Jasey I want you to know no matter what I do, I care." He sniffled keeping his head on my shoulder ever after I tugged at the ends of his hair in an attempt to lift his head, "no matter what happens, no matter what I do, I don't mean it, I care."



"Alex just tell me what’s going on." I whispered as he lifted his head and took mine in his hands.



"I can’t," he sniffled, "it will all make sense soon, just, I wanted you to know I care."



"If you care just tell me!" I hushed in desperation as he pulled his body from mine.



"I can’t." He whispered looking down at his feet and now it was my turn to cup his jaw to drag his eyes to mine.



"So you come here and kiss me thinking ill just be okay with this because you tell me you care about me!"



"That’s exactly why I can’t tell you Jasey, because I care." He whispered before turning on his heels and was gone.

Just like that.

Notes

HAPPY NOW YA LIL BOOGERS!

i was just going to continue with a slow and painful down fall but i felt bad.. so i threw y'all a bone..

does Alex seem like all that bad of a card now? i was trying to hint that he wasnt just deciding to be a TOTAL dick about it but i guess everyone just got caught up on the fact he was being a dick.. so maybe this helps..

a bit. :)

TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AND OPINIONS YOU LIL NUGGETS AND BE SURE TO NOT ONLY LEAVE ME ALL YOUR LOVELY COMMENTS AS USUAL BUT VOTE AND SUBSCRIBE IF YOU HAVENT!

and i just want to thank everyone who has been commenting and subscribes and reads every update.. this is my first fan fiction and i came in like "OH GOD THERE ALL GONNA HATE ME THIS IS GONNA SUCK THE STORY'S GONNA SUCK!" but you guys are so sweet and supportive and i cant thank you enough you guys are literally the only reason why i post on here:)

so thank you and ill see you next time
-Sarah

oh and here's Jasey's outfit :)