I was worried about Alex. Over the past few days he had gotten jumpier, not letting anyone close to him. It was especially bad in the morning. But on the other hand, he was even more tired than normally, fighting to stay awake when talking to us or watching a movie on the TV. The circles under his eyes were bad and he was pale all the time.

I wanted to help but I didn’t know how. I decided to talk to Matt, he was responsible for the band after all.

“Matt? Can we talk for a second, honey?” I asked. He nodded.

“Sure! I’ll just get myself a glass of milk, do you want some too?” he replied.

“Meet you in my bunk,” I exclaimed, already turning around and leaving.

A few minutes later, Matt arrived. He took a big gulp of his milk before leaning in for a kiss. I wasn’t really in the mood for it but I let him do it anyways.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” he asked expectantly.

“Well… I noticed Alex being a bit weary in the past few days. Do you know anything?” I inquired. I really hoped he would be able to help.

“Uh no? Look, just give him these pills to help with sleep, he looks like he hasn’t slept properly in ages,” he retorted, sounding slightly annoyed. He handed me a little bottle of pills. ‘Seroquel’. I wondered why he would have them with him.

“But I am really worried about him. Did you see how he almost fell asleep when we went eating out last week? Or how he almost knocked his glass over in shock when I tapped his shoulder to tell him something during breakfast yesterday? Matt, I think there is something really wrong, I’m worried,” I explained.

“God dammit Jack, he’s not your boyfriend, I am. Stop thinking about it that much, it will be okay. Like seriously I think you might be spending a bit too much time on thinking about him and I am not happy about that,” he said bossily.

“But…” – “No buts Jack! Now be a good boyfriend and bring me more milk and a cookie,” he ordered. I obeyed but I felt bad. I didn’t mean to make him angry but at the same time I was angry about him bossing me around. I decided to talk to Alex and I would see about the medication.

---

Three hours later I found an opportunity to talk to Alex. We were alone on the bus, the others had gone outside to do some sightseeing of the place we were in. Matt had wanted me to come too but I had refused.

“Lex? Time for some talking?” I asked quietly, trying not to scare him.

“Uh, yeah. What is it?” he asked, sounding a bit worried. He looked at me with bloodshot eyes.
“I noticed you being really off recently. Is anything wrong?”

“Nope, not that I know of. Why?” he answered, trying to play cool but I could hear his voice shake just the tiniest bit.

“Alex, come on, you know yourself that this is a lie. You are jumpy to the point where a cough makes you shriek but at the same time you fall asleep all the time,” I begged. “I just want to help you.”

He thought for a bit before he replied. “Jack, I’m just a bit tired, but it is really not that bad. I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure? I don’t feel like this is the full truth, but you should know that I am here if you need help,” I stated. He looked thankful and nodded.

I contemplated hugging him just for a little bit before I leaned in for the hug. He pressed me to his body and I felt some strange tugging at my heart when I breathed in his scent. I pulled away and looked him in his eyes, noticing how beautiful they were.

This evening, I went to bed feeling a bit better about the situation. I felt a strong need to protect this guy. I had to think about how he made me feel, this little feeling in my heart was something I had never had before. Weird.

I fell asleep with his scent in my nose and his picture before my eyes.

Notes

Aww Jacky c:
How do you feel about Matt being like this?

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-Laura