I wish I could

The next day, I got up early. I wanted to go for a morning walk. I left Jack a note and left, not forgetting my little bottle of my strongest pills which I always carried with me.

I strolled through the neighbourhood. It was beautiful, the sun was barely up since I got up very early and the surroundings looked orange and red. The grass in the front-lawns still had dew on it and the red light of the sun was reflected in them, each dewdrop its own little sun.

I continued to walk, completely lost in my train of thoughts. I came to an intersection and the traffic light was green. So I started crossing it, not really paying attention, after all, cars were supposed to stop here. But I hadn’t thought that a drunk driver would be there.

The car came closer and closer. I stood there like a deer in the headlights. I could feel adrenaline shooting through my body, painfully activating every single muscle I had. Instinctively, I jumped forwards. I was lucky and got away without the car touching me. I landed on my elbows but it didn’t hurt, I was too panicked to realize anything.

Flashbacks started flooding my mind fast. The bus to my right side, just like the car. The impact. My body being compressed. My head hitting the windshield. Flying through the air.
I curled up in a ball, pressing my hands into my eyes to try stop the memories. My breaths became short and fast. I started shaking but then I remembered my bottle. I poured a lot of pills into my palm and swallowed them all. Dry. I was used to doing it dry by now.

I crawled into a nearby bush so nobody could see me as I waited for the medication to work. My shaking got worse but then, the tranquilizers did their work. My breaths got really long and everything started to look weird as it blurred. Then it went black.

Notes

Guys, I really like this chapter.

-Laura