Jack POV

I turned off the shower and wrapped myself in my towel after drying off my body. I thought I heard a sound and stayed still for a second. Yes, there was something. I slid out of the bathroom and walked towards where the noise was coming from, my room. I entered. Alex was sitting on the bed cross-legged, holding my guitar. He was strumming and singing passionately. His eyes were closed; he was completely lost in the song.

I listened to the lyrics and my heart got strangely cold when I understood.

“Maybe I should say my last goodbyes
It could be for the last time
And it's not right
"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said
Alone and far from home, I'll find you

Dead, like a candle you burned out
Spill the wax over the spaces
Left in place of angry words
Scream to be heard
Like you needed any more attention
Throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear

Sing me to sleep
I'll see you in my dreams
Waiting to say
"I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Forevers never seemed so long
As when you're not around
It's like a piece of me is missing
I could have learned so much from you
But what's left now?

Don't you realize you showed this family a world of pain?
Can't you see this could have been
The happy ending we let go?

Sing me to sleep
I'll see you in my dreams
Waiting to say
"I miss you."”

He let the last chord ring and sat there for some more time. I could feel tears filling my eyes. Alex opened his eyes and saw me.

I was shocked and barely managed to say “Lex? Why did you never tell me?”

He got up and placed the guitar in its case before coming over to me. He was pale and his hair was a mess.

He took my face in his hands and kissed my cheek after having looked me in the eyes for some time. He got hold of my hand and pulled me to the bed.

“Jack… There are a few things I need to tell you. The reasons for my nightmares…” I looked up from my hands I had been fiddling with to look into his dark eyes, full of worry.

“Remember when I crossed a street in high-school and there was this bus and I got hit?” he asked very quickly. My expression changed from worry to astonishment.

---

Alex POV

“Yes I do. But what are you trying to tell me? It wasn’t that bad, you didn’t even get really hurt!” he replied. My heart sank. Exactly why I had not told people of this.

“It did affect me very severely though. I have been carrying it with me for all these years, dreams every night, flashbacks by day. And the worst thing is, people never understand how bad it is to be hit by a bus. They keep making jokes about how they want to be hit by a bus and car accidents are so nice and fun while I am just sitting there silently screaming no,” I explained, wishing my eyes were dry and I was able to stop feeling so sick.

“I still know exactly how my ribcage was compressed on impact, how my head hit the front shield; how I flew through the cold air, how I hit the ground and rolled for some more metres, how I couldn’t breathe because all the air had been knocked out of my lungs. Not to forget how all the people were shouting abuse at me, how I was transported to the hospital and questioned about why I would run into a bus. They told me I was stupid for being in an accident. Stupid for being tired and making one tiny mistake,” I said, breathing heavily from anxiety building up.

“Alex, I’m so sorry. I never noticed, you are very good at hiding things,” he replied, taking me in his arms. I laughed bitterly.

“Yes, I know. I build perfect façades and nobody can look behind them unless I allow them to,” I retorted.

“Alex, will you let me look behind them from now onwards? You know you can trust me,” Jack inquired softly. I had to think about this one a bit.

I decided to also tell him about the other memory after several minutes had passed.
“There is another thing. Remember when the newspapers were full of news of a pedophile trying to kidnap a 9-year-old boy? How he had sexually abused several others before? How the whole city was relieved when he finally got caught?” I asked.

“Yes I do. Alex, what are you trying to tell me?” he begged.

“That innocent 9-year-old was me,” I said, breathing out. I watched as Jack processed this information, the blood draining from his face.

“Alex… I never knew… I am so sorry,” he whispered as tears collected in his eyes. He hugged me once again.

I myself was filled with some kind of strange calmness. It was not bad, I liked it. So calm. No feelings.

Jack held me like this for a long time. He was silently crying but I just felt calm and tired. Letting out all these things that plagued me had helped.

Notes

So... You now know what happened. What do you they will do?

Song is "The Worst Kind of Lullabies" by ATL. I know it doesn't fit perfectly but I had my reasons to leave it this way.

I like this chapter a lot tbh. Thank you all for your kind words, it always makes me smile to see people like my stories c:

-Laura