I woke up early. Blacking out due to hyperventilation. Making myself stop crying. The same routine as always, just with the alteration of having Jack beside me, meaning that I could breathe in his scent, calming me down a bit. I snuggled closer to him and pulled up the blanket.

The first sunrays were already warming my face. Today’s dream… I wasn’t even sure why I had told Jack about me having the same dream regularly, my memories haunting me. I didn’t plan on telling him any more, I didn’t want to worry him.

---

In my dream, I had been crossing a street. Walking. I had felt tired. It was a big street, six lanes. There had been a tram waiting at a red light and I had to walk out behind it. But what I didn’t see was the bus that had come. Just a split second of this horrible feeling in my guts before it hit me with such great impact that I couldn’t think anymore. That was when I had woken up, like most of the days.

---

There was one other dream that reoccurred in the pattern of sleep-destroying images, but it was something I didn’t feel capable of thinking of now.

I started crying silently. How was I supposed to live like a normal human being when things like this had happened? I had never told anyone about how bad it had been and how badly it still affected me. Hell, people didn’t even know of the other thing.

I was shaking by now and I was getting sick as anxiety was rising. My tears had stained quite a big patch of Jack’s shirt by now. I needed this to stop. I pushed my head into the pillow, closing off my mouth and nose. Air desperately tried to get out of my lungs to make space for new one but it couldn’t. I could feel a hand on my back, rubbing it.

I froze before jumping up and running away like a scared animal. I locked myself in the bathroom, blocking out all sounds, only hearing the noise of the memories in my head.

When I finally came back to reality, I was panting. This had been the worst it had ever been. Jack was standing outside, mumbling sweet little things, trying to calm me down but from time to time he knocked lightly on the door. I thought about it for a bit but then I let him in. He sat down next to me and hugged me. It made me even more scared because of what I had been through just a few seconds ago but it soon helped.

“Nightmares?” he asked. I only nodded, still sick from the anxiety.

“You know, you can talk to me about them,” he offered. I shook my head, I didn’t feel like sharing yet. I cuddled into his chest and smelled his neck.

A few hours later, I was sitting on his bed while he was taking a shower. I was in the mood to write a song, a song about what had happened. I wrote down some lyrics before taking Jack’s guitar. It was difficult this time but I found the right chords. I sang it on full volume, completely lost in it. I sang out all my anger and my fear. When I was done, I opened my eyes. Jack was standing there, eyes wide open, tears filling them.
“Lex? Why did you never tell me?” he asked, barely audible.

Notes

60 subscribers!!! Thank you so much, I feel really honoured! :3
Feedback on how you liked this chapter? Poor Alex but also poor Jack...

Happy Birthday to Alex! c:

-Laura